Search found 12 matches

by theAYSays
Wed Dec 23, 2009 7:11 pm
Forum: Lounge
Topic: In Love - what to do about it?
Replies: 82
Views: 17823

Re: In Love - what to do about it?

You'll have to trust me that it's not infatuation. Unless you're enlightened and can read minds, I don't think it is appropriate for you to insist on knowing something about my mind that I do not know.

My question is if there is anything else I can do at this point.
by theAYSays
Wed Dec 23, 2009 6:12 pm
Forum: Lounge
Topic: In Love - what to do about it?
Replies: 82
Views: 17823

Re: In Love - what to do about it?

Great comments, guys. Thank you. I think one of the problems we're coming across in this discussion is a hidden assumption that we equate love between a man and a woman (who are related) as intrinsically lustful or sexual. This is not the case here. So please, do not bring up infatuation again. Thin...
by theAYSays
Wed Dec 23, 2009 8:48 am
Forum: Lounge
Topic: In Love - what to do about it?
Replies: 82
Views: 17823

Re: In Love - what to do about it?

Something like this was what I was looking for: I particularly like this advice from AN 4.55 Samajivina Sutta - Living in Tune. "If both husband & wife want to see one another not only in the present life but also in the life to come, they should be in tune [with each other] in conviction, ...
by theAYSays
Wed Dec 23, 2009 8:45 am
Forum: Lounge
Topic: In Love - what to do about it?
Replies: 82
Views: 17823

Re: In Love - what to do about it?

"What to do about it?" Love, and bring your practice to love. Yes, but is there anything more concrete I can do? Nothing is ever concrete. That's why we practice wherever we find ourselves appearing, with whatever is on our plate. There's no magic pill, no magic chants. There's only the p...
by theAYSays
Wed Dec 23, 2009 7:59 am
Forum: Lounge
Topic: In Love - what to do about it?
Replies: 82
Views: 17823

Re: In Love - what to do about it?

pink_trike wrote:"What to do about it?"

Love, and bring your practice to love.
Yes, but is there anything more concrete I can do?
by theAYSays
Wed Dec 23, 2009 7:51 am
Forum: Lounge
Topic: In Love - what to do about it?
Replies: 82
Views: 17823

Re: In Love - what to do about it?

The story doesn't help. I'm not going through infatuation.

Infatuation is when you aren't aware of the person's faults, where you're seeking purely for your own emotional benefit, where you aren't looking for the other person's benefit.
by theAYSays
Wed Dec 23, 2009 2:10 am
Forum: Lounge
Topic: In Love - what to do about it?
Replies: 82
Views: 17823

Re: In Love - what to do about it?

In terms of differentiating between attachment and love? I think they are two different elements that are neither mutually exclusive nor intrinsic. The near enemy of metta has already been mentioned. I, for example, am happily married and feel strong feelings of love (I think) and attachment for my...
by theAYSays
Wed Dec 23, 2009 1:29 am
Forum: Lounge
Topic: In Love - what to do about it?
Replies: 82
Views: 17823

Re: In Love - what to do about it?

what else I can do to help cultivate my relationship. Are you asking us for relationship advice or for advice about differentiating between attachment and love? We can probably help with the latter... maybe an agony aunt could help with the former? Haha what's an agony aunt? I am always open to rel...
by theAYSays
Wed Dec 23, 2009 1:16 am
Forum: Lounge
Topic: In Love - what to do about it?
Replies: 82
Views: 17823

Re: In Love - what to do about it?

Yep, I am attached. But a mother's love for her only child is attached too; this does not take away from the purity of the mother's love! Mustard seed from a house where no-one has died. Death is inevitable, but can be postponed by improvement of health. Which can be done physically as well as spir...
by theAYSays
Wed Dec 23, 2009 1:12 am
Forum: Lounge
Topic: In Love - what to do about it?
Replies: 82
Views: 17823

Re: In Love - what to do about it?

Hi theAYSays, I don't know much about your situation but from what little you've written the love you're describing seems less like metta than it does sensual desire and infatuation. I can't pretend to know, however, so please don't take offense but you should seriously ask yourself if the desire t...
by theAYSays
Wed Dec 23, 2009 12:58 am
Forum: Lounge
Topic: In Love - what to do about it?
Replies: 82
Views: 17823

Re: In Love - what to do about it?

As this is a Theravada forum lets sidestep the "medicine Buddha" :) I see this is your first post :) welcome to Dhammawheel. Have you tried metta bhavana? In Theravada, developing love* is important (it is a divine abode (brahmavihara) afterall!) :) *depending on your definition of love. ...
by theAYSays
Wed Dec 23, 2009 12:20 am
Forum: Lounge
Topic: In Love - what to do about it?
Replies: 82
Views: 17823

In Love - what to do about it?

It's a question that I feel is frequently ignored or stepped aside from in Buddhism. But - I'm in love, and what can I do? I've been chanting mantras, including the Medicine Buddha's initiation mantra (I'm specifically thinking about his seventh vow where he talks about helping those without family ...