Let's be more mindful in our dealings with new people
Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 12:59 am
Hi all
I would like some feedback on something that is important, I feel. DW is a wonderful place for the discussion of the Dhamma, and for interaction and communion amongst Buddhists from around the world. If there is one thing we might be able to do better, it could be in how we deal with the occassional new member who kind of breaks a few unspoken rules of etiquette due to their newness to Dhammic principles etc, and then other members kind of seize upon that (whether they are aware of this or not) and enter into a debate where even though we might be entirely correct (on our side), the result is that the new person kind of disappears after that...I'm including myself here too, in all humility I think we can ALL improve our samma vaca in the sense that sometimes it isn't just the truth that matters, but also the timing, and the manner of it's delivery. I would like to think that we can see beyond the occassional hubris we encounter, like when someone just barges right in and makes pronouncements about things in a way that, in terms of etiquette, seems presumptuous to do (considering how new they are to the Dhamma), to see beyond this irritation and instead see that somehow or other, a being has stumbled upon this forum, a place where to my knowledge the most original form of Buddhism still extant is discussed and practised as far as possible, and what a great good fortune it is, if we have an opportunity to display maybe just a bit more care and patience with lack of etiquette in some newcomers, on the off chance that our patience could result in a change of heart in them, and in them sticking around longer, and who knows maybe them taking up the practice of Dhamma. Please forgive me if I have misconstrued things here, but as I said I'm including myself in the admonishment, I am beginning to think that right speech is one of the trickiest of all the precepts (and limbs of the Path) to master properly.
with much metta and gratitude,
manas.
I would like some feedback on something that is important, I feel. DW is a wonderful place for the discussion of the Dhamma, and for interaction and communion amongst Buddhists from around the world. If there is one thing we might be able to do better, it could be in how we deal with the occassional new member who kind of breaks a few unspoken rules of etiquette due to their newness to Dhammic principles etc, and then other members kind of seize upon that (whether they are aware of this or not) and enter into a debate where even though we might be entirely correct (on our side), the result is that the new person kind of disappears after that...I'm including myself here too, in all humility I think we can ALL improve our samma vaca in the sense that sometimes it isn't just the truth that matters, but also the timing, and the manner of it's delivery. I would like to think that we can see beyond the occassional hubris we encounter, like when someone just barges right in and makes pronouncements about things in a way that, in terms of etiquette, seems presumptuous to do (considering how new they are to the Dhamma), to see beyond this irritation and instead see that somehow or other, a being has stumbled upon this forum, a place where to my knowledge the most original form of Buddhism still extant is discussed and practised as far as possible, and what a great good fortune it is, if we have an opportunity to display maybe just a bit more care and patience with lack of etiquette in some newcomers, on the off chance that our patience could result in a change of heart in them, and in them sticking around longer, and who knows maybe them taking up the practice of Dhamma. Please forgive me if I have misconstrued things here, but as I said I'm including myself in the admonishment, I am beginning to think that right speech is one of the trickiest of all the precepts (and limbs of the Path) to master properly.
with much metta and gratitude,
manas.