Attention parents

[retrofuturist]

Greetings,

See also:

Buddhism for the 21st Century Parent
viewtopic.php?f=14&t=149

I also recommend the book...

"Buddhism For Mothers" by Sarah Napthali
http://books.google.com.au/books?id=tl3 ... t&resnum=4

Metta,
Retro.

[Ngawang Drolma.]

My son didn't speak for the longest time; everyone thought there was something wrong with him. The one day he began speaking in whole sentences. He was waiting until he understood how to do it correctly I suppose. There's a term for kids who do this but I can't remember it. Point is some kids aren't necessarily behind, just on their own time.

J

Thanks so much BB.

And Retro, great book recommendations.

Everyone's comments are genuinely helping me, thanks so much.

[Ngawang Drolma.]

When anger arises in my mind I yell at him, when he insists on putting a fork on the electrical plug I slap his hands. But when he gets very frustrated and starts crying and hitting things, humour is my best friend. When he cries I cry, when he lays on the floor kicking the air, I do the same and ask him if I am doing it right, or I aks him if he is done with it. He usually starts laughing and stops the wild behaviour.

This works! I just tried it. The little one was making these awful whining noises because she desperately wanted to put her bathing suit on at a few moments when I had my hands full. I make the same obnoxious sounds and she started laughing!

Very cool

[christopher:::]

Hi N. Drolma and everyone,

You've gotten a lot of good advice here. We had the same problems with our first son, at around age 3. I bought this book and found it very very very helpful, and very much inline with Buddhist wisdom. Making use of the strategies and insights suggested we were able to help turn everything around rather quickly.

Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child

Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child.jpg (9.91 KiB) Viewed 281 times

I'd also strongly recommend this book for Rui S. The mimicking strategy can work from time-to-time but it sounds like your son still hasn't changed his behavior patterns, and is requiring a lot of your attention. Unfortunately, the longer a child is able to "practice" and rehearse disruptive emotional and behavioral "habits" the harder it can be to shake them. Children who behave disruptively in order to gain attention- and then receive attention - are having those disruptive behaviors reinforced.

Understanding how all this works we were able to do things differently with our second son. Tantrums were not reacted to in the same way, and so he never developed those behavior patterns. By contrast, the oldest (a teenager now) has sometimes fallen into the old patterns when he's stressed, angry or fearful...

Parenting is a joy, but always a challenge.

[Rui Sousa]

When anger arises in my mind I yell at him, when he insists on putting a fork on the electrical plug I slap his hands. But when he gets very frustrated and starts crying and hitting things, humour is my best friend. When he cries I cry, when he lays on the floor kicking the air, I do the same and ask him if I am doing it right, or I aks him if he is done with it. He usually starts laughing and stops the wild behaviour.

This works! I just tried it. The little one was making these awful whining noises because she desperately wanted to put her bathing suit on at a few moments when I had my hands full. I make the same obnoxious sounds and she started laughing!

Very cool

I am very happy to have been helpful

A big to you and your daughter.

[Rui Sousa]

I'd also strongly recommend this book for Rui S.

Thank you. I will take a look at it, every help is welcomed.

[Ngawang Drolma.]

Thanks a lot for your input Christopher. And the book looks very good

[christopher:::]

It helped a lot, though I wish I had read it earlier, and that i could have found a Japanese translation of it for my wife. To this day the two of them will occasionally spin in their reactive habits, from time-to-time... and getting tooooo upset about it only seems to widen the storm front...