This is amusing.... Can you equate....?

[Fede]

Sign seen in a household kitchen:

"Well, you know, so far today, I done pretty good:

I haven't killed anything or harmed anyone...
I've not taken anything not belonging to me...
I've been pretty virtuous in the sex department, if I say so myself...
I haven't lied, gossiped, slandered or said anything mean, unkind, uncivil or even thoughtless to anyone, about anyone...
I've kept off the woozy stuff and kept a cool level head.....

but I'll be getting out of bed in a minute, so it might just get that little bit harder...."