Stay in or leave difficult work situation?

Casual discussion amongst spiritual friends.

Stay in or leave difficult work situation?

Postby LinLin64 » Wed Feb 19, 2014 9:53 pm

Hi,
How do you decide if a difficult situation is 'good practice' and worth staying engaged with, versus being something to leave?

I'm working with non-Buddhists who have very different ethical yardsticks in terms of honesty, respect, kindness, and keeping to agreements. Some of the people frequently use anger when communicating. I can deal with it but I don't like it and am tired of dealing with it.

I am quite free to leave and am very close to doing so. The only thing stopping me is wondering if I should stay because it affords an opportunity for facing and learning from difficult situations. Frankly, I am exhausted by a long time already of doing so.

How do you decide whether to stay or leave difficult situations?

Thanks in advance.
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Re: Stay in or leave difficult work situation?

Postby daverupa » Wed Feb 19, 2014 10:08 pm

There are two variables to assess: ease of attaining requisites (so, paying bills and so on) and ease of engaging bhavana (seated meditation, daily mindfulness, and so on).

MN 17 discusses this. For monastics, they've gone forth not for the sake of requisites but for the sake of bhavana, and so in a case of easy requisites and difficult peace of mind, they are advised to depart that environment.

So you can weigh access to requisites & bhavana in your own case, and thereby determine your priorities with careful consideration. No one lifts all the weights at the gym on the first day; careful practice builds the ability to skillfully deal with heavy issues such as yours, but prior to developing this strength it may perhaps be the better part of valor to withdraw...

:heart:
    "And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting oneself one protects others? By the pursuit, development, and cultivation of the four establishments of mindfulness. It is in such a way that by protecting oneself one protects others.

    "And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting others one protects oneself? By patience, harmlessness, goodwill, and sympathy. It is in such a way that by protecting others one protects oneself.
- Sedaka Sutta [SN 47.19]
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Re: Stay in or leave difficult work situation?

Postby LinLin64 » Wed Feb 19, 2014 10:22 pm

easy requisites and difficult peace of mind, they are advised to depart that environment.


That is the relevant answer. Thank you also for the reference and the link. I find it really interesting that the advice is also to leave the person ( by extension, the situation) " by night or by day without informing, so that he may not follow." Now in this situation I will inform, but those words give further and stronger resolve to hold firm to the decision to disengage.

Thank you!

:anjali:
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Re: Stay in or leave difficult work situation?

Postby santa100 » Wed Feb 19, 2014 10:27 pm

LinLin64 wrote: Frankly, I am exhausted by a long time already of doing so.

This might be the key piece of info. you should pay attention to. The opportunity for facing and learning from difficult situations maybe a bit too much to handle at this point? You could actually apply both tactics at the same time: cultivate the Dhamma to mitigate current negative situations while aggressively looking for better opportunities out there..
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Re: Stay in or leave difficult work situation?

Postby LinLin64 » Wed Feb 19, 2014 10:48 pm

The Dhamma and Dhamma practice have been and continue to be my lifeboat over the past months. And yes, I am looking for other opportunities where there a strong and demonstrated commitment to ethical conduct.

This has been a fascinating journey in learning that a shared understanding of and commitment to sila is foundational. The end does not justify the means.
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