Morons with mobiles sour the tweet life
Social networks prove we are a self-absorbed, dull bunch of twits.
SARAH is at work. Darryl just ate a tuna sandwich with mayo. Bonnie cannot decide what to wear on Saturday night. Karla just saw Public Enemies and thought it was really good because Johnny Depp is totally hot. And Paris Hilton just went for a swim in the ocean and is feeling like Ariel from The Little Mermaid (insert winking smiley face). Oh, and she loves us all. Like totally.
In a week that saw a Greek woman set fire to a horny Brit's genitals, a new lead in the Madeleine McCann case involving an Aussie Posh Spice and our favourite geek K-Rudd accused of being a trigger-happy camel killer, is this really the best commentary we have to offer on life? I'm talking about the thoroughly mundane status updates and tweets on those popular social networking sites, Facebook and Twitter, and their revelation that we really are a self-absorbed, dull bunch of twits.
For starters I don't care if you ate a sushi roll, mince in multigrain or an over-nutted pad thai for lunch. Unless you went cannibalistic and popped your neighbour in a taco, it's not interesting and nobody cares. If you love your boyfriend, tell him, not me. And if your shih tzu puppy lasted the whole night without peeing on your new ''buff beige'' shagpile, that's great, tell mum or Yogendra at the milk bar, but don't send your 628 friends into narcoleptic comas. The rule should be - if it's not worth discussing over brunch, it's not worthy of a digital broadcast.
And while we're on brunch catch-ups, soon they'll be joining shoulder pads, hair crimpers and scrunchies in Obsoletesville. After all, there's nothing left to discuss over omelets and macchiatos because our every action and bowel movement has already been communicated online. We find ourselves awkwardly munching our toast as we search our frontal lobe for conversation fodder we might have neglected to post on our page, staring at our equally news-deprived companion as she fills the awkward silences by tapping away on her Facebook Mobile iPhone application - ''Did a spin class this morning. Hectic. Catching up with Jacqui now. Had a berry smoothie with honey. It was yum. Going to pop over to the market and buy some organic chicken thigh fillets for dinner. Or maybe some beef. Stay tuned (smiley face).'' Continued...http://www.theage.com.au/opinion/morons ... tml?page=2
And let that be a lesson to you!