Dr. Dukkha wrote:I feel like women don't really understand the meaning of sex
I think you may be setting yourself up for a world of contradiction here.
Many women (and men) are of the opinion that women need to feel loved in order to have sex. Men need to have sex in order to feel loved.
You seem to be the exception that proves the rule....
Many of them are just like the stereotype they throw on men that all they want is sex and not as much love.
How many close, loving, sexual relationships have you had, exactly?
I love romance! And I don't really care for meaningless sex, I want it to be very meaningful and emotional and passionate.
Believe it or not, this is the case with most women.
But I have gone through a lot of pain from having sex because it makes me attached to the woman I am having sex with
How soon after you meet them do you usually end up having sex with them?
and then I usually get betrayed because a lot of women are swingers
You may need to revise your terminology. A swinger, here, is someone who attends lots of parties and gatherings for multiple sexual encounters, but they usually have a steady and permanent partner.
How many women out there are willing to date a guy for like six months before having sex?
This is a common lament among women too. Women believe that if they do not have sex with their partner 'soon enough' they will lose them. There is a lot of social pressure on women to have sex with a guy, even on the first date.
Maybe earlier, maybe later. But sometimes, it gets really heated and I get in a situation where it is almost customary that when you get in that situation, you almost HAVE to have sex with them or it is really disappointing for them.
This is what many women believe.
And I tend to get myself in that fiasco a lot, sometimes doing it within a week of the relationship. I'd rather steer clear of such things because it brings me much emotional pain.
Then that is your problem. If you feel pressured, and you give in, then you are creating problems for yourself.
It's not their fault you comply.
You could say no....
I find it very strange that you are able to reach a level in a liaison with someone, where you could have sex with them - but you cannot express your own opinions and feelings on the matter sufficiently, to lay out how you feel about things??
You need to talk to your ladies, and early on!