Are Buddhist less talkative?

Casual discussion amongst spiritual friends.
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Dugu
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Are Buddhist less talkative?

Postby Dugu » Thu Oct 29, 2009 8:12 am

For me, I am not very talkative. When I am at work, I enjoy peace and quiet and just focus my mind on the task at hand. But those around me will talk and talk and talk.. haha

How about you guys? The reason I am asking is because I noticed on Buddhist forums, we don't have many conversations, even in E-Sangha were there are more members, still the forums moves very slow. Not much going on. I get this impression that Buddhists prefer to read than speak. I might be wrong though. :lol:

Individual
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Re: Are Buddhist less talkative?

Postby Individual » Thu Oct 29, 2009 8:39 am

Dugu wrote:For me, I am not very talkative. When I am at work, I enjoy peace and quiet and just focus my mind on the task at hand. But those around me will talk and talk and talk.. haha

How about you guys? The reason I am asking is because I noticed on Buddhist forums, we don't have many conversations, even in E-Sangha were there are more members, still the forums moves very slow. Not much going on. I get this impression that Buddhists prefer to read than speak. I might be wrong though. :lol:

I don't like talking at all either, so much so that people can take offense to it, thinking I'm shy, cold, unfriendly, or not human. I don't have a problem with new people or people in general, but I find small talk boring and a bit of a chore to come up with, even with family. I can feel awkward in situations with new people where they don't seem to know what to say and neither do I, and I don't feel obligated to make up nonsense to say, and neither do they, so we're simply quiet. Silence is peaceful.

However, that doesn't mean I never talk at all. Sometimes I do, if the topic strikes me. But I don't understand how some people can just chatter away all the time in person, on phones, on text messages, etc.. It seems like so much work and it doesn't interest me. On these forums too, I feel that there's so much unnecessary chatter and I often have to restrain myself from self-aggrandizing pontification. Instead, I try to be thoughtful and keep my posts to the point, so that instead of using this forum merely as a tool for entertaining myself, I consider how useful what I'm saying actually is. I do think that this sort of thing is a Buddhist ideal, with regards to "Right Speech". Whether most Buddhists actually follow it, I don't know.
Last edited by Individual on Thu Oct 29, 2009 8:44 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: Are Buddhist less talkative?

Postby Guy » Thu Oct 29, 2009 8:42 am

I can talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk with the best of them.
Four types of letting go:

1) Giving; expecting nothing back in return
2) Throwing things away
3) Contentment; wanting to be here, not wanting to be anywhere else
4) "Teflon Mind"; having a mind which doesn't accumulate things

- Ajahn Brahm

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Re: Are Buddhist less talkative?

Postby Mawkish1983 » Thu Oct 29, 2009 9:28 am

Individual wrote:I try to be thoughtful and keep my posts to the point, so that instead of using this forum merely as a tool for entertaining myself, I consider how useful what I'm saying actually is. I do think that this sort of thing is a Buddhist ideal, with regards to "Right Speech". Whether most Buddhists actually follow it, I don't know.

I'm working on it...

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Re: Are Buddhist less talkative?

Postby Ben » Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:36 am

Yes, I received your letter yesterday
(About the time the door knob broke)
When you asked how I was doing
Was that some kind of joke?
All these people that you mention
Yes, I know them, they're quite lame
I had to rearrange their faces
And give them all another name
Right now I can't read too good
Don't send me no more letters no
Not unless you mail them
From Desolation Row

-- Desolation Row, Bob Dylan, 1965
Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.

Taṃ nadīhi vijānātha:
sobbhesu padaresu ca,
saṇantā yanti kusobbhā,
tuṇhīyanti mahodadhī.

Sutta Nipata 3.725

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e: ben.dhammawheel@gmail.com

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Re: Are Buddhist less talkative?

Postby Sanghamitta » Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:56 am

I think this cross refers to the "Are Buddhists Introverts " thread that ran recently...I think my talkative levels are within normal limits, but I talk less than my husband a Buddhist who is known to some of you, If he is not meditating, or bird watching, or gazing at the moon, or listening to music or a patient, or asleep...he's talking.I suspect even when he is alone. :lol:
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Re: Are Buddhist less talkative?

Postby Karma Dondrup Tashi » Thu Oct 29, 2009 8:42 pm

...

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Re: Are Buddhist less talkative?

Postby jcsuperstar » Thu Oct 29, 2009 10:23 pm

the old thai women at most temples ive been to, sure love to yak it up and gossip.. theyre buddhist
สัพเพ สัตตา สุขีตา โหนตุ

the mountain may be heavy in and of itself, but if you're not trying to carry it it's not heavy to you- Ajaan Suwat

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Re: Are Buddhist less talkative?

Postby adamposey » Fri Oct 30, 2009 2:20 am

Dugu wrote:For me, I am not very talkative. When I am at work, I enjoy peace and quiet and just focus my mind on the task at hand. But those around me will talk and talk and talk.. haha

How about you guys? The reason I am asking is because I noticed on Buddhist forums, we don't have many conversations, even in E-Sangha were there are more members, still the forums moves very slow. Not much going on. I get this impression that Buddhists prefer to read than speak. I might be wrong though. :lol:


I'm VERY talkative. I think when it comes to a buddhist forum though the expectation should be one of "quality v quantity." I see lots of high quality posts here, very little wasted.

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Re: Are Buddhist less talkative?

Postby poto » Fri Oct 30, 2009 6:48 am

I can get pretty talkative sometimes. I think it depends on how much caffeine I've had.

I do try to restrain myself, which is not always successful. I also have difficulty wording my comments properly, sometimes leading people to interpret things I say in ways which I did not intend. I'm still working on that.
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It may be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience." -- C. S. Lewis

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Re: Are Buddhist less talkative?

Postby BlackBird » Fri Oct 30, 2009 7:56 am

I think it get's to a point where you don't have much to say.

When you're not trying to push your view about or refute others views, you're limited to Dhamma-talk and small talk, and even then (in my experience) there's usually someone around who is wiser and more clued up who can provide a more pithy response.

Views create a lot of suffering.

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'The Blessed One is the Teacher, I am a disciple. He is the one who knows, not I." - MN. 70 Kitagiri Sutta

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Re: Are Buddhist less talkative?

Postby pink_trike » Fri Oct 30, 2009 8:50 am

I'm a talker, but not much of a chatterer - I don't have much respect for sound bytes and small talk is alien to me. I pretty much don't have a joke gene though I tend to smile a lot. I've spent most of my life in academic environments where the discussion of ideas in great depth is considered normal and 6 hour discussions on one topic aren't uncommon. Also, in that environment one can freely push ideas that are unformed to the limits until they take shape, something that doesn't fly well in other environments where most everyone seems to have ready formed and concretized opinions on nearly everything. I find that outside of that environment and certain cafes in San Francisco, Berkeley, and much more commonly in Europe, my social graces are, er...lacking. :tongue: I tend to be very quiet where the discussion of ideas isn't welcomed or enjoyed. I'm a big fan of a style of conversation I picked up while leading and participating in psychotherapeutic group process which is waiting and counting 3 seconds before speaking after someone has spoken - a period of silence so that what they have said has time to be absorbed before the talking mind responds. I find that 3 seconds of silence in conversation is rare among Americans.

I don't consider Buddhist forums to be temples or sacred places as some seem to, and I don't feel any need to impress anyone with my ability to economize words...I do that on the cushion. My style in person is one of active listening and calm expression without much emotional froth....which may not translate well into this environment - I have no idea how I "sound" to others in an electronic forum. I have no idea how others sound to me in forums so I try to read everyone without assuming I know their emotional affect unless they are being very obvious. I rarely use emoticons because I don't understand the art of using them and am always looking for one that doesn't exist. Emoticons lack subtlety. I work with a team of young people that have been using them for most of their lives and have memorized the keystrokes for seemingly thousands of them that they use fluidly and frequently...something that some grad student somewhere must be writing an amazing dissertation on...if anyone is aware of one, I'd love to read it.

I find as I'm getting older that I tend to be more intimate in my conversations, speaking more of meaning than theory, more of experience than facts. I'm not much interested in discussing who said what when or debating nuances of ideology or dogma these days. I'm more interested in knowing how whatever it is being discussed makes one feel right now in this moment. I prefer to leave a conversation with someone knowing them more intimately rather than knowing what they know.
Vision is Mind
Mind is Empty
Emptiness is Clear Light
Clear Light is Union
Union is Great Bliss

- Dawa Gyaltsen

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Disclaimer: I'm a non-religious practitioner of Theravada, Mahayana/Vajrayana, and Tibetan Bon Dzogchen mind-training.

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Re: Are Buddhist less talkative?

Postby tiltbillings » Fri Oct 30, 2009 8:56 am

I don't consider Buddhist forums to be temples or sacred places as some seem to
They certainly are not.
This being is bound to samsara, kamma is his means for going beyond.
SN I, 38.

Ar scáth a chéile a mhaireas na daoine.
People live in one another’s shelter.

dheamhan a fhios agam

"We eat cold eels and think distant thoughts." -- Jack Johnson

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Re: Are Buddhist less talkative?

Postby Sanghamitta » Fri Oct 30, 2009 9:06 am

If you are wanting feedback Pink Trike from one reader when you say that you do not know how you come across on an electronic forum then feel free to pm me.
The going for refuge is the door of entrance to the teachings of the Buddha.

Bhikku Bodhi.

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Re: Are Buddhist less talkative?

Postby Clueless Git » Fri Oct 30, 2009 9:11 am

pink_trike wrote:I find as I'm getting older that I tend to be more intimate in my conversations, speaking more of meaning than theory, more of experience than facts. I'm not much interested in discussing who said what when or debating nuances of ideology or dogma these days. I'm more interested in knowing how whatever it is being discussed makes one feel right now in this moment. I prefer to leave a conversation with someone knowing them more intimately rather than knowing what they know.

Fave quote of mine (not a quote by me) you might like Trike ..

"The below average mind thinks in terms of people. The average mind thinks in terms of events and great minds think in terms of ideas."

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Re: Are Buddhist less talkative?

Postby msmedusa » Sun Nov 01, 2009 9:21 pm

Sanghamitta wrote:I think this cross refers to the "Are Buddhists Introverts " thread that ran recently...I think my talkative levels are within normal limits, but I talk less than my husband a Buddhist who is known to some of you, If he is not meditating, or bird watching, or gazing at the moon, or listening to music or a patient, or asleep...he's talking.I suspect even when he is alone. :lol:



I can relate to your husband Sanghamitta I am apparently as talkative as 'a budgie on prozac'. :jumping:

I am reliably informed by my partner that I even talk in my sleep ..presumably to utilise all possible chatting opportunities :shrug:

Msmedusa


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