I love this doctor

Casual discussion amongst spiritual friends.

I love this doctor

Postby Annapurna » Tue Nov 03, 2009 7:03 pm

I love this Doctor

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken.


Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming
'WOO HOO, What a Ride'



AND.....

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
http://www.schmuckzauberei.blogspot.com/
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Re: I love this doctor

Postby A Medic » Tue Nov 03, 2009 7:07 pm

LOL!
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Re: I love this doctor

Postby Bhikkhu Pesala » Tue Nov 03, 2009 7:27 pm

Shouldn't you have written that post in German?
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Re: I love this doctor

Postby Annapurna » Tue Nov 03, 2009 7:42 pm

I ran a great risk to warn you guys, yes.

:mrgreen:
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Re: I love this doctor

Postby Kare » Tue Nov 03, 2009 9:40 pm

Ajjatagge palibhasam bhasama! :mrgreen:
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Re: I love this doctor

Postby Annapurna » Tue Nov 03, 2009 10:37 pm

Which means, Kare? :embarassed:
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Re: I love this doctor

Postby Kare » Tue Nov 03, 2009 11:16 pm

From today we'll speak pali.

I suppose I'd rather have written: Ajjatagge palibhasam bhasissama, with the future form bhasissama instead of the present form bhasama. Ooops ... a long sentence in English! What is my doctor going to say to this?
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Re: I love this doctor

Postby msmedusa » Wed Nov 04, 2009 1:16 am

Annabel wrote:
And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming
'WOO HOO, What a Ride'

.


:twothumbsup:

... dressed in shiny red stillettos and an outragreously large hat with feathers!!!! :jumping:
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