LOL, I think that you may view Java through a bit of a different lens than I do.
It's been an interesting process getting up to speed with web programming. I have experience going back to the '80's in:
1)Basic (good old TRS-80's)
2)Fortran (engineering school made me do it)
5)Visual Basic (my language of choice for quick dev around work)
Thank goodness for online resources.