Wind wrote:I know deep down my parents worried that I won't get marry either. But ultimately it's my decision and that's what I have chosen for myself.
If people want to have children for the right reasons and are prepared to do what it takes then I admire their selflessness and compassion. I just don't see myself going down that road in this lifetime, thank you very much.
Another reason: If you stay in the household life for too long there is a high probability of being reborn and having to be the one in the nappies yourself.
christopher::: wrote:Do you believe that not having children somehow decreases that probability?
christopher::: wrote:I would think that if we have children for the right reasons (as you describe) it can actually be more of an intensified and effective dhamma path then not having children due to selfishness.
(See Ben's quote below)
Guy wrote:christopher::: wrote:Do you believe that not having children somehow decreases that probability?
No I don't believe there is a direct correlation between not having children and the probability of not being reborn (even the Buddha had a son). However, if someone is deciding whether or not to invest, say, 18 years at home raising kids or going forth I would think that going forth immediately is going to be more conducive to Awakening (assuming that they have Right Intention established).
Cultivating the Four Brahmaviharas is great whether you are a householder or a monastic, no question about it. I would say that the monastic lifestyle is more supportive for developing the Right Intention of renunciation though. This, in my opinion, is anything but selfish. So, essentially I agree with you that practicing the Four Brahmaviharas (whether or not one has children) is beneficial and "not having children due to selfishness" is unbeneficial. It wouldn't be right to say that all people who don't want to have children are selfish. It seems to me that the intention behind going forth or having children (or anything for that matter) is far more important than what the action actually is. If we practice Right Intention it naturally follows that we will practice Right Action.
I think we should have as many as possible to raise little warriors for the Buddha's cause. It is war out there.Mukunda wrote:How come no one asks "Why DO you want to have kids?"
tiltbillings wrote:I think we should have as many as possible to raise little warriors for the Buddha's cause. It is war out there.
christopher::: wrote:tiltbillings wrote:I think we should have as many as possible to raise little warriors for the Buddha's cause. It is war out there.
Often, children of the movement are also called "arrows." Quiverfull takes its name from Psalm 127: "Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate." A wealth of military metaphors follows from this namesake, as Pride and her fellow advocates urge women toward militant fecundity in the service of religious rebirth: creating what they bluntly refer to as an army of devout children to wage spiritual battle against God's enemies. As Quiverfull author Rachel Scott writes in her 2004 movement book, "Birthing God's Mighty Warriors," "Children are our ammunition in the spiritual realm to whip the enemy! These special arrows were handcrafted by the warrior himself and were carefully fashioned to achieve the purpose of annihilating the enemy."
If i'm able to teach my sons the dhamma, or at least make them aware of why suffering happens and how to reduce it, then hopefully our time here together, as a family, will be well spent.
acinteyyo wrote:(On a conventional level)
I think it's always the parents desire to have kids. In my eyes a very selfish wish. Ask yourself, do YOU want to have kids because of YOUR desire to have kids or do the KIDS want to be born and you just play an inferior role?
People are often talking about the gift of birth... I would like to know whether the ones who have kids thought about the fact that they also make the gift of death to their children?! All the suffering starts with birth and in my eyes the parents are at least partially responsible. If I would have had the chance to decide whether I will be born or not, I wouldn't have chosen to be born.
Okay I'm drifting into speculations therefore I stop here. I hope you get the point.
best wishes, acinteyyo
Wind wrote:To those who decided not to have kids. What are your reasons?
christopher::: wrote:We live in a galaxy with almost a hundred billion stars, many capable of supporting life, just like our sun. Beyond that there are over a billion other galaxies. If a sentient being seeks to be born in this universe there are probably millions of planets to choose from, at the very least a few thousand...
The desire to be born as well as the desire not to be born are both desires. So, here we are. I'm just glad to be born on a world where the dhamma is so accessable and available. There have been times in the past and will be times in the future where it will be very difficult to find circumstances as fortunate as those most of us here have been blessed with.
christopher::: wrote:If i'm able to teach my sons the dhamma, or at least make them aware of why suffering happens and how to reduce it, then hopefully our time here together, as a family, will be well spent.