My non-Buddhist time; or, the household life.

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Re: My non-Buddhist time; or, the household life.

Postby alan » Mon Apr 26, 2010 3:01 am

Hi Chris
I'm downloading that talk; it will be on my iPod for tomorrow. Thanks.
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Re: My non-Buddhist time; or, the household life.

Postby Dan74 » Mon Apr 26, 2010 3:55 am

alan wrote:Oops--guess I should have read the signature. I don't usually pay attention to that stuff.

If you can see the unconditioned in the midst of family turmoil, more power to you!
Personally I'm going to do my best to live a quiet life away from that kind of stress. I do believe it is a wise course to seek out the best place to practice and arrange things around that situation---
Alan


What I said above was the teachings I was given, not saying "I can do it!" :embarassed:

Sure I think it is sensible to seek out the environment that will facilitate the practice. But there are always distractions. Noisy neighbours, phone calls, responsibilities, life in other words.

Our attitude to these will pretty much determine which way the practice goes. Towards an escape or liberation.

I thought I should elaborate from experience:

I live in a noisy house with 3 little kids, a pretty full schedule of work and other commitments. Practice has to be squeezed into the tired evenings (when I don't have work to do) or the wee hours of the morning (before the kids wake up). I also sit at work (university) with a little group that meets there.

In a way this is an ideal practice environment because it challenges you. Sure I do go on retreats when I can and they are very important. And sure my kind of immersion in the Dhamma is very shallow compared to a committed monastic, but in the end it is up to me. Playing with the kids can be practice - being fully present, attentive, spontaneous, equanimous. Relating to my partner can be practice - ....., paying careful attention to the various commitments and responsibilities is practice, etc etc

In fact, a very experienced monastic said to me that she had to learn to practice in a lay environment after spending many years in a temple and hermitages, where in a sense it was easier. Of course one has to crawl before one can walk, we say, but in actual fact one can learn to walk straight away, it will just take longer. What I mean is that we can learn to practice in the hustle and bustle of life and it is very worthwhile. In the end it is the same - it's about the mind.
_/|\_
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Re: My non-Buddhist time; or, the household life.

Postby Annapurna » Mon Apr 26, 2010 7:17 am

alan wrote:Oops--guess I should have read the signature. I don't usually pay attention to that stuff.

If you can see the unconditioned in the midst of family turmoil, more power to you!
Personally I'm going to do my best to live a quiet life away from that kind of stress. I do believe it is a wise course to seek out the best place to practice and arrange things around that situation---
Alan


I was thinking of your post over this past weekend.

Most of the time I live alone in my house and enjoy the quiet.
But to make some money with it, I rent 2 apartments above my own to holiday guests.


This past weekend I had guests which required earplugs for me, because they were drinking (cleaning up I found the empty bottles) were gambling and were hitting a dice cup onto the table, which gives a loud bang echoing through the house each time.

(They also did damage to the glass plate. Don't know what to decide here, they will deny they did it)

I find being close to such people, so that I have to share their lifestyle, stressful, to say it mildly.

My sleep is affected, and that affects my ability to recover for work.

I also remember stress studies, which show that the stress hormones in the body increase when we are exposed to noise, and results can be :

higher blood pressure
more heart attacks, strokes, tinnitus
more ulcers,and other stress related diseases.

After this weekend, I would need another day off, simply because I didn't have a "weekend"...

But I have to work... :roll:

Just a thought...and why not seek an environment that supports you best?
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Re: My non-Buddhist time; or, the household life.

Postby Rui Sousa » Mon Apr 26, 2010 11:10 pm

alan wrote:We were not smoking doobies, although that would have been fun, and appropriate for a former time. We were trying to have adult discussions when the kids came in with their "I want this, I don't want that" stuff. And then Mrs. SuperMom had to go and deal with the nonsense.
Try having a talk with her when the kid cries. It won't happen. That Is why I had a non-Buddhist week.


Kids need attention. If you pay attention to their needs you will see how intense their craving is, and how much they suffer from it. And you will also see how compassionate it is to relieve other beings from suffering.

Kids need attention, if you give it to them you will develop your wisdom and your compassion. Isn't this a very Budhistic thing to do?

Also, a crowded and noisy house should not prevent you from practice, see AN11 http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an11/an11.013.than.html
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Re: My non-Buddhist time; or, the household life.

Postby alan » Tue Apr 27, 2010 2:21 am

Anna:
Sorry to hear about your noisy weekend...noise is stressful, and detrimental in so many ways. I am in fact in a better environment, after a 900 mile drive in my motorhome from Nashville to south Florida.
Rui: I don't buy the whole kids make you wiser thing, but that is just me. Good for you if you thrive around them. Of course, if the Buddha was into families he would not have left his wife and child...(ouch!) :smile: :smile:
Chris: Ajahn Sumedho seems like a really nice guy. I was rooting for him to settle down and get to the point...but he didn't. It was just an hour-long ramble.

Th household life is dusty. Camping in my motorhome alone in the quiet--well that is fresh air!
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Re: My non-Buddhist time; or, the household life.

Postby Annapurna » Tue Apr 27, 2010 7:20 am

Alan, thank you for your kind words. .. :anjali:

Luckily, most of the time I have it quiet and nice. :woohoo:

So you live in a motorhome?

Can you stop and stay wherever you want to, out in nature, or how are the laws in your land?
Do you go to work from your motorhome?

I hope I'm not too curious, but I am not familiar with your lifestyle and I find it interesting. :anjali:

Anna

PS: If you're in South Florida right now, it must be hot...how do you keep it cool? The motorhome I mean.
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Re: My non-Buddhist time; or, the household life.

Postby alan » Wed Apr 28, 2010 4:30 am

HI Anna
I live in my motorhome when I'm in the states. It is 26 ft. (8 meters) long and has a bedroom which slides out. Florida roads are wide, and many other people drive around in even bigger vehicles--mine is actually small by comparison. It's just the gross American consumerist lifestyle. No, wait--it isn't! I'm actually anti-consumer. I park in nice quiet places, and for the most part am left alone. One of the good things about Florida is that it is very big. There is a lot of space.
I'm parked now in a place on the west coast--the gulf of mexico coast. The air is fresh and smells of flowers. It's a campground.
I have electric, water and internet.
The motor home has a kitchen, of course, and a shower. I've added a fine sound system because I love to listen to Jazz. It's ideal for me.
I used to just stop out in nature, but now I like to be connected. Way out west--like in New Mexico or Arizona--there is still open land where anyone can camp. But it is dry and desolate. I prefer the soft air here. Plus, my job, if I still have one now that no one is buying anything, is to take photos, and coast scenes are what I do best.
As far as the heat--well, Bali was worse. I've been spending most of my time in Asia for the last few years. I'm used to heat.
My German father would not approve, but this is my life...
Alan
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