Something else came to my mind:
I know one of the mods in this forum a bit better. She seems 'spiritual', but is following New Age ideas.
A while ago she and I had a longer conversation via PN.
Very frequently she mentioned health problems in threads. So I sent her a PM, asking if I could help.
She shared her stressful situation.
She has not forgiven her mother for something, like a divorce, and going away, and she is very resentful as a result. Her mother became ill. She has cancer. She contacted her daughter. She would like to depart from this life having made her peace with her, speak with her. She wants her to visit. She wants her to come over after her death, and take care of dissolving the household, mind you, she didn't ask: Take care of me while I'm still alive, help me, wash me, feed me, give me medicine, hold my hand when I pass.
Nothing of that sort.
She said her daughter would inherit everything.
Her daughter, let's call her Alex, was in a deep dilemma because of this, because she has not forgiven her mother, she holds on to the grudge, and doesn't really want to see her....only thinking of herself, and how much stress this might cause her.
No thought was spent on the situation of her mom.
As a result, she became ill, getting all sorts of diseases. It reminded me of the Dhammapada, where the Buddha speaks of what happens to people who fails others.
I gently spoke with Alex about all the good her mother had done to her when she was little, and before she had to escape a bad marriage, in ways which are not for me to judge.
I tried to smooth over her ruffles feathers, and encourage her to let go of old reproaches and make a new start. To forgive, and do something humane, which is to help her mother come to peace with the past, and alleviate her suffering and death by being around with loving kindness.
I encouraged her to be selfless for a while, to make it easier on somebody. And that her health might rapidly improve. And that she might never forgive herself, if she let that chance to reconcile go by. That she may arrive at a new very beneficial POV.
She had excuses. Her daughter has to go to school. Etc.
To be honest, I was shocked and sad.....
I should have left then. If she is so hard to her own mother, how will she be to almost strangers, like forum members? But I sometimes feel such hope against all odds, that a Dhamma person may have a beneficial impact, but then, I am not a teaching Buddha. I know I reached a few members. They thanked me.
That shall suffice.
PS: I'm not perfect, and hope it didn't sound that way.