Joke!!!

A place to discuss casual topics amongst spiritual friends.
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Kim OHara
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Re: Joke!!!

Post by Kim OHara »

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Kare
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Re: Joke!!!

Post by Kare »

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Mettāya,
Kåre
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robertk
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Re: Joke!!!

Post by robertk »

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Kahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there , thanks to my children, friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much onphysical activity anymore.


I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenaline flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!
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Dan74
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Re: Joke!!!

Post by Dan74 »

Those jokes are serious competitors for the Dad Joke of the Day Award, Robert! :D

Here's one from wumo which I thought was quite Buddhist:
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_/|\_
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Coëmgenu
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Re: Joke!!!

Post by Coëmgenu »

There is a pun somewhere in the idea of "Expedient Beans", but I lack the skill in punnery to formulate it properly.
What is the Uncreated?
Sublime & free, what is that obscured Eternity?
It is the Undying, the Bright, the Isle.
It is an Ocean, a Secret: Reality.
Both life and oblivion, it is Nirvāṇa.
Spiny Norman
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Re: Joke!!!

Post by Spiny Norman »

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Buddha save me from new-agers!
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robertk
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Re: Joke!!!

Post by robertk »

How many online forum group members does it take to change a lightbulb?


1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

3 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

2 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp".

1 know-it-all that claims *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.

3 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs.

1 to suggest that posters check the light bulb FAQ.

1 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

1 to flame the OP with "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs".

And lastly....1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now......... and start it all over again.
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DNS
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Re: Joke!!!

Post by DNS »

robertk wrote:How many online forum group members does it take to change a lightbulb?
Those are good. Here are some potential inclusions to that:

Another posts a link to a site describing how to change a light bulb.
Another posts a "better" link to the wikipedia page.
Another notes that the wikipedia page just got re-edited, so posts a better url.
Another asks why is this even being discussed on this forum.
Another posts that this is a terrible topic and should be banned (but of course he/she continues to post in said topic).
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cooran
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Re: Joke!!!

Post by cooran »

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

It was stuck to the chickens foot.
---The trouble is that you think you have time---
---Worry is the Interest, paid in advance, on a debt you may never owe---
---It's not what happens to you in life that is important ~ it's what you do with it ---
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JeffR
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Re: Joke!!!

Post by JeffR »

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Therein what are 'six (types of) disrespect'? One dwells without respect, without deference for the Teacher; one dwells without respect, without deference for the Teaching; one dwells without respect, without deference for the Order; one dwells without respect, without deference for the precepts; one dwells without respect, without deference for heedfulness; one dwells without respect, without deference for hospitality. These are six (types of) disrespect.
:Vibh 945
ToVincent
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Re: Joke!!!

Post by ToVincent »

Dave Barry, proud member of the sophisticated and World Famous Lawn Rangers Drill Team.
In this world, there are many people acting and yearning for the Mara's world; some for the Brahma's world; and very few for the Unborn.
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DNS
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Re: Joke!!!

Post by DNS »

no self.png
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A computer programmer was hacking around the internet and accidentally discovered no-self (anatta).
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robertk
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Re: Joke!!!

Post by robertk »

Young people have theirs, now we Seniors have our own texting codes:

* ATD- At the Doctor's

* BFF - Best Friends Funeral

* BTW- Bring the Wheelchair

* BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth

* CBM- Covered by Medicare

* CUATSC- See You at the Senior Center

* DWI- Driving While Incontinent

* FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

* GGPBL- Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

* GHA - Got Heartburn Again

* HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement

* LMDO- Laughing My Dentures Out

* LOL- Living on Lipitor

* OMSG - Oh My! Sorry, Gas

* TOT- Texting on Toilet

* WAITT - Who Am I Talking To?

Hope these help.
GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!
dhammarelax
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Re: Joke!!!

Post by dhammarelax »

:goodpost:
Even if the flesh & blood in my body dry up, leaving just the skin, tendons, & bones, I will use all my human firmness, human persistence and human striving. There will be no relaxing my persistence until I am the first of my generation to attain full awakening in this lifetime. ed. AN 2.5
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Kim OHara
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Re: Joke!!!

Post by Kim OHara »

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It's good to know he remembers his previous lives so well. :tongue:
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