Association with the Wise

A discussion on all aspects of Theravāda Buddhism
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Association with the Wise

Postby thetrouserman » Thu Aug 01, 2013 6:03 pm

Does association with the wise include your family? Such as if you have a rift with a family member over things this person did to you, and if you also know that they lead a life that is without morals, do you still need to make up with them? Have them in your life? Just that I have excessive guilt over something that happened between my brother and me, and yet if he was not my brother, I would not have him in my life because of the way I was treated, and because of his morals. I don't know how to let go of the guilt because he has to be suffering, and I feel that our issues with each other may have caused some of his own suffering. And I have always believed that we should keep family members in our life, no matter what they do to us.

Thank you.

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lyndon taylor
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Re: Association with the Wise

Postby lyndon taylor » Thu Aug 01, 2013 7:16 pm

Good idea in almost all cases, there is also a lot in the scriptures about respect for family, isn't there??
18 years ago I made one of the most important decisions of my life and entered a local Cambodian Buddhist Temple as a temple boy and, for only 3 weeks, an actual Therevada Buddhist monk. I am not a scholar, great meditator, or authority on Buddhism, but Buddhism is something I love from the Bottom of my heart. It has taught me sobriety, morality, peace, and very importantly that my suffering is optional, and doesn't have to run my life. I hope to give back what little I can to the Buddhist community that has so generously given me so much, sincerely former monk John

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Re: Association with the Wise

Postby cooran » Thu Aug 01, 2013 9:16 pm

Hello all,

Association with The Wise explained by Bhikkhu Bodhi ... ay_26.html

With metta,
---The trouble is that you think you have time---
---Worry is the Interest, paid in advance, on a debt you may never owe---
---It's not what happens to you in life that is important ~ it's what you do with it ---

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Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2012 9:37 pm

Re: Association with the Wise

Postby thetrouserman » Thu Aug 01, 2013 10:13 pm

While one is to respect one's family, does one take verbal abuse from them? Or do you just move away from them, considering that they are not an association with the wise? If a family member accuses you of doing something horrible that you did not do and tells other family members that you did such as such, and then denies he said anything, telling you that you have no proof even though you were there, what do you do? This family member won't speak to me because he said as long as I believe he said those things, he won't talk to me. Does that make sense? So I just told him that I was sorry for causing him to suffer, whereas I don't feel I did anything wrong outside of being upset over being accused.

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