Thanks for the clarification, Myotai.
The reason I ask is sometimes I am requested to give advice for co-practitioners who feel the same way but on further investigation, it is clear that the practitioner is expecting certain meditative experiences or that meditation should be pleasant or that life, post adopting practice, should be bliss-filled pleasantness devoid of difficulty.
In your situation I would evaluate whichever method suited me best and give it my undivided attention for at least a year.
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road
Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725Compassionate Hands Foundation
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