Gautama's teachings are not based nor built on belief systems (am I right on that?), and that's the reason I've become a buddhist. It's been a while, and I've been meditating since then.
Just this one thing, has started to give me doubts.
I often talk to buddhists, or zen masters, et cetera. They all tell me about reality, and how it all works, and what enlightenment is. But honestly, they all sound like they're telling me about their beliefs that are constructed in the mind, rather than direct knowledge. I mean, they sure don't sound like they're giving me direct knowledge, if you know what I mean. You can sense it when you hear someone speak about an idea, and you can tell when you hear someone speak their knowledge. They come out really different, the expressions.
I was wondering if any of you, has direct knowledge, as the Buddha. Do you know samsara? Or you know the "idea" of samsara? And how can you define what you know? How do you know what you know is the reality? Do you know nibbana? Or you know the "idea" of nibbana? Do you know other physical realms? Or you believe in their existence? Do you have direct knowledge on your past lives? Or you have ideas on them?
The reason I'm asking this question is, I can't access anything, although it's been about 5 months with my meditation, I still don't know anything, nor have I attained anything. All I have is blank. I don't know samsara and I don't know nibbana. When I clear my mind, and focus on the now, and my breath, all I have is nothing. Is this the knowledge people talk about? I don't believe so. I have morals, but I've always had them. It's not something I gained via meditation. I have always been a thoughtful and a caring person.
I don't know what I'm doing wrong, and I'd really appreciate a little guidance in that regard as well. But my curiosity still goes, as I really want to hear about what you know, or what your direct experiences are.
To me, it feels like it's not possible to "not" desire sensual pleasures. I mean, even during meditation, I have to inhale fine air. And that is a sensual pleasure. Isn't it? I need a tranquil place and an appropriate temperature, and that is also a desire. They way I see, or feel it, if one truly attains nibbana, they can't be living in the body. It's just not possible, is it? Because as long as I'm human, I'll have physical needs, and attachments, and the other way round seems just about impossible.
Please tell me all you know. That's the reason I've opened this thread. I want/need to hear about your own teachings. What do you know for sure? What have you seen, or directly experienced? How do you know what's inside your mind is not an idea, but knowledge?
Thanks so much in advance.
This, bhikkhus, the Tathāgata understands. And he understands: ‘These standpoints, thus assumed, thus misapprehended, lead to such a destination.’ He understands as well what transcends this, yet even that, he does not misapprehend. As he is free from misapprehension, he has realized within himself the perfect peace. The Tathāgata, bhikkhus, is emancipated through non-clinging. These are those dhammas, bhikkhus, that are deep, difficult to see and understand, sublime, beyond reasoning, subtle, comprehensible only to the wise, which the Tathāgata, with direct knowledge, propounds to others.