Marriage or no marriage.

A discussion on all aspects of Theravāda Buddhism

Re: Marriage or no marriage.

Postby Pannapetar » Mon May 10, 2010 4:25 am

Dhammakid wrote:Sex, on the other hand, is a sense pleasure. Attachment to sex comes from ignorance of the anicca characteristic of temporarily pleasurable phenomena.


If attachment to sex was simply rooted in the ignorance of its impermanence, then this particular attachment would evaporate as soon as we recognise that the feeling of pleasure doesn't last after the first coitus. Obviously, this is not the case. I am afraid it is much more complicated than that.

Dhammakid wrote:You don't need any amount of sex to survive in this lifetime.


Neither you nor I require sex for survival, but the species does. As a species, we would do quite badly if we decided to abandon sex. And what would happen then to the "precious human birth"?

Dhammakid wrote:All the stress and tension released from sexual activity can be just as effectively released by other means, such as, oh I don't know, meditation.


Yeah, that sounds convincing. ;) I think regular physical exercise has been suggested for the same purpose with similar success. Mind you, I am not against celibacy, only I would be more careful with trivialising the matter.

Dhammakid wrote:...it's common knowledge among practitioners that ordaining is simply a better way to acheive the goal.


Common knowledge... according to whom?

Dhammakid wrote:But there's no doubt that lay life presents many more obstacles to liberation than monasticism does.


Again, according to whom? You are phrasing these statements as if they were proven facts, which they are clearly not. I am afraid that monasticism itself can present a huge obstacle to many people. It depends. Marriage or bachelor's life, monkhood or householder life - these are very personal decisions that no one can make for us. Everyone has to decide this for him/herself.

Cheers, Thomas
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Re: Marriage or no marriage.

Postby Bozworth » Mon May 10, 2010 5:25 am

Also, I feel life is boring at the core but people tend to add layers on top of it by doing stuff and marriage is just another layer to mask it.


I don't know about boring... That's just not the term I would use. More like 'turd soup' :quote: or something along those lines. Ha, I really don't hate it though. A little too much excitement and too much stuff going on IMO, but it is what it is. Might as well try to relate to it on friendly terms while we're here.

I completely agree with the "adding another layer" bit, though. I'm also a 29-yo single guy, and staying single just seems like the path of least resistance. I'm more than a bit ambivalent toward the whole issue, and I'll take whichever path seems less complicated. Ultimately, I doubt it matters. To partner up with someone would likely require some sort of effort on my part, and I lack the motivation to make any such effort.

Being single is also an excellent opportunity for personal development, "spiritual" or otherwise. Me, I don't always take complete advantage of the opportunity. It would be good if I improve on that.

In any case, I doubt much good is going to come from meticulously planning for the future. Sure, some planning is good - retirement savings, etc. But don't sweat the specifics...
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Re: Marriage or no marriage.

Postby Lazy_eye » Mon May 10, 2010 11:15 pm

Theravada marriage vow: "until arahantship do us part"? :tongue:
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Re: Marriage or no marriage.

Postby Pannapetar » Tue May 11, 2010 2:05 am

Lazy_eye wrote:Theravada marriage vow: "until arahantship do us part"? :tongue:


Mahayana marriage: "until we part after liberating all sentient beings". :)

Cheers, Thomas
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Re: Marriage or no marriage.

Postby Mukunda » Tue May 11, 2010 2:07 am

grasshopper wrote:But not everyone has the luxury to be a renunciate.


The "luxury to be a renunciate"??? I seem to be missing something. :shrug:
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Re: Marriage or no marriage.

Postby grasshopper » Tue May 11, 2010 3:25 am

Mukunda wrote:
grasshopper wrote:But not everyone has the luxury to be a renunciate.


The "luxury to be a renunciate"??? I seem to be missing something. :shrug:


Hi Mukunda,

It means that there are circumstances preventing me from renouncing lay life.

Regards : )
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Re: Marriage or no marriage.

Postby David N. Snyder » Tue May 11, 2010 3:31 am

grasshopper wrote:It means that there are circumstances preventing me from renouncing lay life.


Can you say what they are? Some can be changed, such as debt, parental permission (in some cases), etc.
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Re: Marriage or no marriage.

Postby grasshopper » Tue May 11, 2010 3:54 am

David N. Snyder wrote:
grasshopper wrote:It means that there are circumstances preventing me from renouncing lay life.


Can you say what they are? Some can be changed, such as debt, parental permission (in some cases), etc.


Sure, I am an only child and if I renounce lay life, then there would leave no one to physically and financially care for my parents when they become old and feeble. They are doing alright now, of course.

I do not have financial debt as I have finished paying off my student loan and I am also pretty strong willed so I do not need parental permission ( but might be able to convince them if it comes to that) but I stronly feel that it is my responsibility to care for them in their old age. If I leave, they wouldn't have anyone.
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