Death and Meditation

A discussion on all aspects of Theravāda Buddhism
Post Reply
User avatar
AlaskanDhamma
Posts: 52
Joined: Mon Feb 16, 2009 8:28 pm
Location: Alaska, USA

Death and Meditation

Post by AlaskanDhamma »

Hello all.

I need a bit of help. My grandmother just passed away recently and I'm going through a grieving time right now. I've been trying to remain positive, knowing that my grandmother is now re-entering the khammic cycle and has moved on from her physical state of suffering in this life. However, it's still a bit difficult to deal with mentally and emotionally and especially spiritually. I was wondering when I go to meditation today and over the next few weeks, what should I be meditating about? Is there something to focus on that will help me to not be attached to the idea of her death? I know that sometimes monks even meditate inside of crematories to better understand death. Can anyone give some suggestions?

Metta,
Julia
"Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace." -Buddha
User avatar
Ben
Posts: 18438
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 12:49 am
Location: kanamaluka

Re: Death and Meditation

Post by Ben »

Hi Julia

I am going through grief myself right now. Unless you are given instruction from your meditation teacher, I recommend that you continue with your usual object of meditation. I also recommend that you incorporate metta bhavana as an adjunct. In the past I have found that spending some time per day practicing metta, on top of my vipassana practice, has eased my grief.
I am sorry for your loss and I wish you all the best.

Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global ReliefUNHCR

e: [email protected]..
User avatar
AlaskanDhamma
Posts: 52
Joined: Mon Feb 16, 2009 8:28 pm
Location: Alaska, USA

Re: Death and Meditation

Post by AlaskanDhamma »

Ben,

Thank you for your well wishes and advice. I think I'll try that.
"Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace." -Buddha
User avatar
Ceisiwr
Posts: 22395
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2009 2:36 am
Location: Wales

Re: Death and Meditation

Post by Ceisiwr »

My advice would to just be mindful of what your feeling, investigate why and reflect, why is it you grieve?

grief can be used as a very skilful means for insight, i would also recomend the metta meditation as well


However this is just my advice, decide what feels right for you to do, you know best


Hope your Dukkha sucums to its Anicca soon


Metta

Craig
Last edited by Ceisiwr on Tue Mar 10, 2009 10:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
“Knowing that this body is just like foam,
understanding it has the nature of a mirage,
cutting off Māra’s flower-tipped arrows,
one should go beyond the King of Death’s sight.”
User avatar
Rui Sousa
Posts: 366
Joined: Thu Jan 22, 2009 4:01 pm
Location: London, UK

Re: Death and Meditation

Post by Rui Sousa »

I agree with Ben, continue your usual practice and, if you don't do it already, add some Metta practice.

My grandmother died two years ago, and during a few days after her departure I did Metta a lot, wishing her to have an happy rebirth with the good fortune of having caring parents.
With Metta
User avatar
retrofuturist
Posts: 27848
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 9:52 pm
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Contact:

Re: Death and Meditation

Post by retrofuturist »

Greetings AlaskanDhamma,

I recommend...

Sn 3.8 - Salla Sutta (The Arrow)
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .irel.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Metta,
Retro. :)
"Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."
User avatar
jcsuperstar
Posts: 1915
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 5:15 am
Location: alaska
Contact:

Re: Death and Meditation

Post by jcsuperstar »

i'm sorry
สัพเพ สัตตา สุขีตา โหนตุ

the mountain may be heavy in and of itself, but if you're not trying to carry it it's not heavy to you- Ajaan Suwat
User avatar
Cittasanto
Posts: 6646
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 10:31 pm
Location: Ellan Vannin
Contact:

Re: Death and Meditation

Post by Cittasanto »

I am sorry for your loss, I know the pain of loosing a loved one. once I was ready I found relaxing when I noticed my mindfulness lapse then going back to the object.
Blog, Suttas, Aj Chah, Facebook.

He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that. His reasons may be good, and no one may have been able to refute them.
But if he is equally unable to refute the reasons on the opposite side, if he does not so much as know what they are, he has no ground for preferring either opinion …
...
He must be able to hear them from persons who actually believe them … he must know them in their most plausible and persuasive form.
John Stuart Mill
User avatar
phil
Posts: 874
Joined: Tue Mar 03, 2009 5:08 am
Location: Tokyo

Re: Death and Meditation

Post by phil »

First of all, hello Julia, very sorry for your loss. I am sure your meditation practice will bring you peace, wisdom or best of all both to help you deal with your grieving.
retrofuturist wrote:Greetings AlaskanDhamma,

I recommend...

Sn 3.8 - Salla Sutta (The Arrow)http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .irel.html

Metta,
Retro. :)
Thanks for this sutta, Retro. I don't know how I missed it before.

Metta,

Phil
Kammalakkhano , bhikkhave, bālo, kammalakkhano pandito, apadānasobhanī paññāti
(The fool is characterized by his/her actions/the wise one is characterized by his/her actions/Wisdom shines forth in behaviour.)
(AN 3.2 Lakkhana Sutta)
Post Reply