Zom wrote:By the way, there is one more option:
you can make an agreement with your wife to teach daughter only those religious things that you both do share. Certain moral principles, for example ,) And dismiss all teachings that you don't share, like "sin, God, kamma, rebirth, ect".
puppha wrote:There is no "presence" of Buddhism in our household. So my daughter only gets the "Christian" point of view.
On the other hand, I think I should not worry about that, and let things happen... But I am concerned with the well-being and the future of our daughter. Ideally, I would like her to know about all religions, so she can make a choice when she's grown up. But my wife's point of view is very different;
Having belonged to one of these groups myself for several years I'd be more worried about your marriage.
Fede wrote:You must discuss this sensibly and logically with your wife - out of your daughters' earshot.
Zom wrote:you can make an agreement with your wife to teach daughter only those religious things that you both do share.
Fede wrote:...whatever you decide to do, you should do it in complete agreement and with the whole-hearted co-operation and consent of your wife.
conflict should not arise.
You must seek compromise and do what you both agree on.
Fede wrote:This seems (to your wife) to indicate that you do not take your calling as seriously as your she takes hers
Fede wrote:she doesn't take your faith seriously, otherwise she might have consulted you on how best to raise your daughter together
thereductor wrote:I make it simple: she may teach them what she wants, but I am going to do the same. My only limit is that they cannot go to church. Binding up their peer group and their religion, it seems to me, would certainly preclude them from having a free thought of their own, for fear of exclusion (I have seen a lot of such fear among my friends while in school).
Modus.Ponens wrote:I say this with good intention: beware of the born again christians.
thereductor wrote:Will my kids become Christian? Possibly. But there is one thing they will certainly be: well informed on the Buddhadhamma and my relationship to it.
Khalil Bodhi wrote:Please find the list of books here
Fede wrote:Remember: a theistic religion is about "putting it all 'out there for God' to do with as he sees fit".
Buddhism is about "owning it all 'in here' and taking full responsibility for thought, word and action".
So - be responsible.
Goofaholix wrote:Sounds like you are being very reasonable about it and keeping things harmonious but understand this issue won't go away unless you convert or she does.
BuddhaSoup wrote:Through my work I have sometimes seen people invest themselves suddenly and deeply in Christian conservative "faith" and practice when there are indications of depression, and sometimes when the person is struggling internally and requires the black and white certainty that those Xtian practices seem to provide. I don't mean to overanalyze this, but I would feel remiss if I simply said nothing at all in response to your thoughtful and caring post.
BuddhaSoup wrote:It may be helpful to assess with your wife whether she is experiencing any emotional turmoil, instability, or depression.
BuddhaSoup wrote:If these issues really begin to create some issues for your family, consider finding a good family therapist (secular) who might work with the two of you and the family as a whole to explore healthy ways to deal with this internal concern in your family system.
BuddhaSoup wrote:My personal expereince has been that there are many Xtians who have a balanced view of their faith and do not allow it to become an obsessive aspct of theoir lives. I do see, though, that the obsessive and "black and white thinking that some Xtians present can be indicative of an underlying clinical or emotional concern. All of this is amenable to therapy, but you wife must be willing to meet you in the middle and work with a good independent clinical therapist (LCSW or Ph.D level) and not require that you meet only with her pastor or church family group.
BuddhaSoup wrote:I repeat your concerns are correct and there is a pathway forward for your family to be healthy. I wish you the best in sorting out a problem that here in the US has become a concern for some families.
Zom wrote:One more option to consider: fight fire with fire. If she so blindly believes that she will fall away from Jesus and fall into hell - tell her exactly the opposite - that she will fall in hell or in lower worlds because she dismisses Buddha's teaching and has wrong view. And Buddha said that those who behave like that has only two possible destinies: either hell or rebirth as animal.
May be that direct and pure religious statement will make an effect of shock therapy on her. So may be she will open a little bit and start to think.
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