Practicing with a family

Theravāda in the 21st century - modern applications of ancient wisdom

Re: Practicing with a family

Postby Goofaholix » Fri Apr 20, 2012 10:24 pm

marc108 wrote:Also relevant to this metaphor is that doctors must regularly relearn current medical & scientific advances. a 20 year old medical degree is fairly worthless in the scope of medicine as it is today. My personal opinion, and my understanding of the Buddha's teachings is that regular meditation is a must for the entire lifetime. I believe the Buddha continued to meditate daily even after his awakening. I believe, that unless we are awakened, there is still more to learn in meditation. I agree a lot with what you're saying about the 'off the cushion' aspects of the practice... I know for myself personally that area has been very important and is often overlooked in meditation centered practices. But I also believe firmly that the foundation of the entire practice is life long daily meditation... I only know of one Western Lay Dhamma teacher who doesnt sit regularly, and I know of no Ajahn's who don't meditate regularly. I look at the 2 Ajahns who have been most helpful to my own practice, Thanissaro Bhikku & Bhante G, and see that they still continue formal meditation practice even after 40 someodd and 60 someodd years of regular practice respectively... and these are meditation masters of the highest caliber!


There you go again separating meditation from day to day activities. I think doing so indicates (jhana aside) a misunderstanding of what cushion time is supposed to achieve, if one can maintain the same quality of mind off the cushion as on then to me that's progress.

Yes I agree most western advanced practitioners continue to meditate but I believe they are much less reliant on intensive meditation retreats compared to when they were younger, especially as most have teaching, travel, and administrative responsibilities.

From what I've observed many asian teachers and senior monks do sitting meditation very little, at least in public.
"Proper effort is not the effort to make something particular happen. It is the effort to be aware and awake each moment." - Ajahn Chah
"When we see beyond self, we no longer cling to happiness. When we stop clinging, we can begin to be happy." - Ajahn Chah
"Know and watch your heart. It’s pure but emotions come to colour it." — Ajahn Chah
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Re: Practicing with a family

Postby Ben » Fri Apr 20, 2012 10:55 pm

Time to get back on topic, please.
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Re: Practicing with a family

Postby nobody12345 » Sat Apr 21, 2012 3:06 pm

To some who responded to my post.
I agree to the point that when you had children, you should put their welfare as one of your priorities.
(That is the reason why I don't have children and will never do so)
However, when it comes to choose your partner/lover, you have every right to choose the one that fits your lifestyle (or at least someone who is not trying to change you to his or her likings).
What is the meaning of having someone close to you who doesn't understand or support your urge and interest?
Personally I would never get married or get into a relationship so I admit that my perspective could be bit biased.
(The only family relationship that I have been maintaining is the one with my parent which I have to endure since I am the only child and I have a responsibility to take care of them till they pass away whether I like it or not.)
However, even if I have a girl friend and she's a Muslim or Jehova's witness or whatever, that needs to maintain her specific life style, I would never try to modify or change her life style to suit my likings.
When I used to date (a lot), I never tried to change anybody so I know that.
If you really love someone, you would support the person's choice even if that is not your likings.
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Re: Practicing with a family

Postby Beautiful Breath » Mon Apr 30, 2012 9:35 am

imaginos wrote:To some who responded to my post.
I agree to the point that when you had children, you should put their welfare as one of your priorities.
(That is the reason why I don't have children and will never do so)
However, when it comes to choose your partner/lover, you have every right to choose the one that fits your lifestyle (or at least someone who is not trying to change you to his or her likings).
What is the meaning of having someone close to you who doesn't understand or support your urge and interest?
Personally I would never get married or get into a relationship so I admit that my perspective could be bit biased.
(The only family relationship that I have been maintaining is the one with my parent which I have to endure since I am the only child and I have a responsibility to take care of them till they pass away whether I like it or not.)
However, even if I have a girl friend and she's a Muslim or Jehova's witness or whatever, that needs to maintain her specific life style, I would never try to modify or change her life style to suit my likings.
When I used to date (a lot), I never tried to change anybody so I know that.
If you really love someone, you would support the person's choice even if that is not your likings.



I have to say you sound really selfish (I mean that in an unagressive way honestly). You will get into a relationship....you will probably have children....you're unlikely to escape the Darwinian pull....LOL!!!
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