Thank you for that interesting topic.
I am raising two children - our elder daughter is 13 years old now, our foster daughter is 10 years and parenting both of them is very challenging.
When we adopted our eldest daughter in 1999, when I still dealt with the catholic religion in my mind. Our eldest daughter grew up in a Mother-Theresas-home in the slums of Nairobi and I absolutely admired the Mother-Theresa-sisters for their unconditional love they gave to all the children.
So we decided that our eldest daughter should be raised catholic (my husband is catholic, too - and I also was baptized catholic, but at that time, deep inside my heart I did not feel catholic, then), also to keep some of her roots.
We put her into a catholic kindergarten and a catholic elementary school. Although I appreciate the catholic religion: the school was horror for our daughter. But the roots of the horror was not the catholic religion but the teachers who "taught" it.
At that time I already decided to confess to Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha.
When I took refuge (the tibetan way), my eldest daughter was with me. Just a few years later, she left the catholic church with our permission.
At the moment she wants to be "free of any religion", but she is interested in the values of buddhism. I do not force her to learn about buddhism. At the moment, she is going through a very challenging stadium of her puberty and she has to decline a lot (especially what "mum" likes ). Nevertheless sometimes it happens that she shows a little interest, for example she wants to fast at fasting time. Recently she started to read the book "I give you my life" by Ayya Khema and from time to time she thinks a little about reincarnation and the buddhistic precepts.
In Germany we say "I catch the ball she is shooting to me", but the most important thing seems to be: not to force anything.
The parenting of our foster daughter is much more challenging. Our foster daughter has a severe mentally disability and we are not allowed by law to educate a religion her biological mother does not agree with.
The "problem": her mother is severely mentally sick and it is very, very challenging sometimes. If she has a good day, she accepts almost everything, if she has a bad day she goes to the court and wants her child back (I can understand that a mother wants her children back and I feel with her. Her life is a big tragedy and I feel grateful every day that I am healthy enough to raise the children that were entrusted to us).
When our foster daughter came to us, her mother wanted us to baptize her girl the lutheran way and so we did.
The other "problem": although the disabilities of our foster daughter, she loves to be in the Wat, she loves when we visit the monks. She always is happy when I take her to a buddhistic event and she signalized she wants to meditate. It is so touching.
In Germany we have another phrase: I walk on thin ice by law, when I practice with her.
On the one hand, I am not permitted - on the other hand, my foster daughter seems to feel very, very well whenever she is in the Wat or with the monks.
What I can do (without breaking the law and without forcing my daughters): I try to be a role model. The precepts are an integral part of my life, the Dhamma is an integral part of my life and I do not hide it.
I try to teach them patience and compassion by exemplify it by myself (a challenge, too).
I hava a wonderful husband on my side, who supports me in practicing the Dhamma, although he is not buddhistic - and so he agrees with the kind of education in this matter.
I wonder how everything will develop......
Many greetings from