Mindfulness for the overly self-conscious

[Digity]

How do you practice mindfulness wisely when you have a problem with being overly self-conscious? I have a problem with being too focused on myself in situations and being mindful seems to further endorse that. How do you deal with this dilemma?

[appicchato]

Being self conscious, to a greater, or lesser, extent, is pretty much with (generally speaking) all of us...being mindful of the fact, and (continually) asking ourselves 'why?' might go a long way to remedying the situation...(slowly, and with time) meditating on it, contemplating on it, changing the 'topic' in our heads when we're caught up in being 'overly self-conscious', studying it...all may help to relieve the unwanted feelings...'cause that's all they are, just feelings...

All this may sound over the top, it's just personal thoughts that come to mind at the moment...and wanted you to have at least one other perspective...

Be well...

[Yana]

Hi Digity,

I know right. When your self conscious what you'd usually like to do is escape somewhere safe in your mind. Blur everything out.The last thing you'd want to do is look in front and face your fears.Because you actually think that if you do you'll make things worse..

This is why so many people struggle because it never actually occurred to them that by facing their fears they'll realize it for what it really is...empty.

For example,when walking into a supermarket you experience self consciousness ..and suddenly felt bad,fearful,unpleasant,anxious,depressed..etc..you can solve this by being Mindful:

1.No two thoughts can exist at the same time..so focus it on shopping.Therefore the other thoughts will subside because you didn't give it any room.

2.You can use your self consciousness as the object of your mindfulness or meditation.When you ask yourself why your self conscious..for example,you might say it's my weight..is it really your weight or is it what other people think about your weight..it's what other people think about..are they really thinking about your weight now how would you know that...maybe not..but what if they are...well why does it bother you,how does other people's thoughts affect your thoughts..where is the logic in that..you are just reacting on something that you can just as easily ignore..then why am i reacting to it..because you are attached to your body..why...ignorance..how can i not be ignorant..wisdom..how do i get wisdom?..by realizing your body is just skin,bones,organs,hair,lungs, and there's really nobody in it to be self conscious in the first place.

[Reductor]

Self-consciousness stems from a conflict between how we want to seem versus how we think we seem. If how we want to seem and how we think we seem are the same, then we feel confident and strut our stuff. If they're out of whack, we worry and become very aware of how we carry ourselves. Often our mental activity dwells on how to bring these two notions of ourselves into harmony.

So, either stop wanting to seem a certain way, or go blind to how you may seem to others.

I know, simple, right?

The more immediate solutions would be to adopt the physical facts of your being to be more closely how you want them to be. Take classes in public speaking. Study a bit, if you need to.

On the mental side of the ledger you acknowledge that there is a trend of existence for you, and no matter how much you wish it were otherwise, that trend in body and mind can only be shifted and not radicalised. Simply put, you'll be happier if you own up to who you are and where you are and then stop wrestling with it so much.

[ground]

How do you practice mindfulness wisely when you have a problem with being overly self-conscious? I have a problem with being too focused on myself in situations and being mindful seems to further endorse that. How do you deal with this dilemma?

Whatever arises, don't touch. If it occurs that there arises the consciousness "Oh, now I have touched ... " then don't touch this.

[beeblebrox]

Being self conscious, to a greater, or lesser, extent, is pretty much with (generally speaking) all of us...being mindful of the fact, and (continually) asking ourselves 'why?' might go a long way to remedying the situation...(slowly, and with time) meditating on it, contemplating on it, changing the 'topic' in our heads when we're caught up in being 'overly self-conscious', studying it...all may help to relieve the unwanted feelings...'cause that's all they are, just feelings...

All this may sound over the top, it's just personal thoughts that come to mind at the moment...and wanted you to have at least one other perspective...

Be well...

I think this advice given by Bhante is quite helpful. If you're mindful of the fact when you're self-conscious, especially when it feels like it's becoming something obstructive, then you will be able to do something about it... instead of if you weren't aware of it. Of course, that's easier said than done... but it's practice. It's the useful first step.