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being a sucker vs being nice - Dhamma Wheel

being a sucker vs being nice

Exploring Theravāda's connections to other paths. What can we learn from other traditions, religions and philosophies?
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purple planet
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being a sucker vs being nice

Postby purple planet » Thu Aug 22, 2013 11:59 am

where is the line - when are you being too nice

for instance at a work place and someone wants you to work at his shift - one time is nice maybe even two or three but more then that isnt it too much ? is it still a good deed that gets merit or is it just you not wanting to refuse ?

good action makes merit but if you agree just cause you dont have the power to argue or refuse - there is no merit in that right?
Please send merit to my dog named Mika who has passed away - thanks in advance

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lyndon taylor
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Re: being a sucker vs being nice

Postby lyndon taylor » Thu Aug 22, 2013 12:26 pm

Try to strike a balance, but if you are going to err, err on the side of being a sucker, rather than being not nice, would be my advice.
18 years ago I made one of the most important decisions of my life and entered a local Cambodian Buddhist Temple as a temple boy and, for only 3 weeks, an actual Therevada Buddhist monk. I am not a scholar, great meditator, or authority on Buddhism, but Buddhism is something I love from the Bottom of my heart. It has taught me sobriety, morality, peace, and very importantly that my suffering is optional, and doesn't have to run my life. I hope to give back what little I can to the Buddhist community, sincerely former monk John

http://trickleupeconomictheory.blogspot.com/

Virgo
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Re: being a sucker vs being nice

Postby Virgo » Thu Aug 22, 2013 1:03 pm



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lyndon taylor
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Re: being a sucker vs being nice

Postby lyndon taylor » Thu Aug 22, 2013 1:38 pm

Or you can just be a good person, and let karma sort it all out!
18 years ago I made one of the most important decisions of my life and entered a local Cambodian Buddhist Temple as a temple boy and, for only 3 weeks, an actual Therevada Buddhist monk. I am not a scholar, great meditator, or authority on Buddhism, but Buddhism is something I love from the Bottom of my heart. It has taught me sobriety, morality, peace, and very importantly that my suffering is optional, and doesn't have to run my life. I hope to give back what little I can to the Buddhist community, sincerely former monk John

http://trickleupeconomictheory.blogspot.com/

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purple planet
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Location: Israel

Re: being a sucker vs being nice

Postby purple planet » Thu Aug 22, 2013 1:39 pm

wow that is one quality response virgo

and thanks lyndon also
Please send merit to my dog named Mika who has passed away - thanks in advance

Jhana4
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Re: being a sucker vs being nice

Postby Jhana4 » Thu Aug 22, 2013 1:50 pm

In reading the scriptures, there are two kinds of mistakes:
One mistake is to cling to the literal text and miss the inner principles.
The second mistake is to recognize the principles but not apply them to your own mind, so that you waste time and just make them into causes of entanglement.

Virgo
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Re: being a sucker vs being nice

Postby Virgo » Thu Aug 22, 2013 1:54 pm



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Ajisai
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Re: being a sucker vs being nice

Postby Ajisai » Thu Aug 22, 2013 4:38 pm

I'm new to Buddhism so I might say something stupid, but if your friend is taking advantage of you, maybe it is not helping him in the long time. You're covering his shift so it feels like you're being nice to him, but if he is just taking advantage of you and does it because he knows you are "too nice", are you not letting him something unwholesome and getting bad kamma?

If you feel you're taken advantage of and it annoys you, do not accept. It is not good for you and it is not good for the other person (I think). Plus I believe people will respect you more if you say no when it is justified to say no.

Is there not a saying which says that a Buddhist has to take care of others but also has to take care of oneself?

SarathW
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Re: being a sucker vs being nice

Postby SarathW » Thu Aug 22, 2013 11:41 pm

When Devadatta made unfair demands, Buddha refuse to accept them.
So if anyone make unfair demands from you simply say “no”
Buddha never asked you to be a door mat.
:jedi:
:)
“As the lamp consumes oil, the path realises Nibbana”

Virgo
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Re: being a sucker vs being nice

Postby Virgo » Sun Aug 25, 2013 1:43 pm



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manas
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Re: being a sucker vs being nice

Postby manas » Mon Aug 26, 2013 5:47 am

Then the Blessed One, picking up a tiny bit of dust with the tip of his fingernail, said to the monk, "There isn't even this much form...feeling...
perception...fabrications...consciousness that is constant, lasting, eternal, not subject to change, that will stay just as it is as long as eternity."

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appicchato
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Re: being a sucker vs being nice

Postby appicchato » Mon Aug 26, 2013 12:37 pm

In a nutshell...discernment...

HumbleThinker
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Re: being a sucker vs being nice

Postby HumbleThinker » Tue Aug 27, 2013 10:43 pm

"I know that I know nothing" -Socrates

IOW, take what I say with a grain of salt, for I likely know as little or less than you do.

Virgo
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Re: being a sucker vs being nice

Postby Virgo » Sat Aug 31, 2013 4:10 am




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