failing to meditate at home retreat

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failing to meditate at home retreat

Postby purple planet » Wed May 21, 2014 2:04 pm

I am trying to do a home retreat (talking to a teacher on the phone) - i can manage with the no eating -sleeping 6 hours - no music ect by will force
but i fail some times to manage to sit throw a meditation sitting -

what is the best thing to do once i cant keep meditating - i always get very tired when i give up on the meditation

until i found a better way i decided that instead of eating or watching videos whenever i fail to meditate i will just continue the retreat as usual i will just sleep whenever i feel i cant continue until i have the power to meditate again

does anybody have a better idea of what to do when i dont fell like i can continue to meditate ?
Please send merit to my dog named Mika who has passed away - thanks in advance
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Postby Crazy cloud » Wed May 21, 2014 2:51 pm

Hi, maybe do some "walking meditation", or just do some housework, or gardening, and so on. I'm mostly used to do home reatreats, and I just keep my focus on the breath, whatever and whenever. Works fine by me, and I dont have a special teacher either, but with this www, it's no problem. Lighten up, and play around with your breath, is my advice.


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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Postby TheNoBSBuddhist » Wed May 21, 2014 3:29 pm

You sound bored.
You sound as if you are doing a Home retreat because you think it's what you should do, rather than doing it because you feel dedicated and want to.

To you it's an obligation which has turned into an ordeal.

If this is true, or even close to the truth, your Motivation is unskilful and you should suspend the activity.

A retreat is something you practise with dedication and sincerity.
If you 'look forward' to your time spent in Meditation as a stumbling block, or a problematic activity, then your heart will not be in it. On the contrary, you will dread it, and the situation will get worse, not better.

:namaste:
:namaste:

You will not be punished FOR your 'emotions'; you will be punished BY your 'emotions'.



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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Postby purple planet » Wed May 21, 2014 4:29 pm

So how do i do a home retreat - i need to do it no doubt - so how do i do it in a different way ?
Please send merit to my dog named Mika who has passed away - thanks in advance
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Postby TheNoBSBuddhist » Wed May 21, 2014 4:39 pm

"Need" is incorrect.
Nobody 'Needs' to do anything, if their heart is not in it.

And clearly, your heart is not in it.
You cannot 'force' something like this, you will know when you are ready and eager to accomplish it.

Your task, really, is to treat every day as an opportunity to practise: To be Mindful, Compassionate, and Skilful in your keeping the Precepts and the Eightfold Path.

Pay Attention, Mind the Gap, and Simplify.

:namaste:
:namaste:

You will not be punished FOR your 'emotions'; you will be punished BY your 'emotions'.



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Pay attention, simplify, and (Meditation instruction in a nutshell) "Mind - the Gap."
‘Absit invidia verbo’ - may ill-will be absent from the word. And mindful of that, if I don't respond, this may be why....
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Postby purple planet » Wed May 21, 2014 4:51 pm

I used to want to mediate before when i was mindful during the day - its an interesting point do you think mindfulness during the day causes you to want to meditate ?

But now i have a rare opportunity to do a home retreat i dont have the privilege to wait until i would want to do a home retreat
Please send merit to my dog named Mika who has passed away - thanks in advance
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Postby TheNoBSBuddhist » Wed May 21, 2014 5:19 pm

Mindfulness during the day - IS Meditating.....
:namaste:

You will not be punished FOR your 'emotions'; you will be punished BY your 'emotions'.



Image

Pay attention, simplify, and (Meditation instruction in a nutshell) "Mind - the Gap."
‘Absit invidia verbo’ - may ill-will be absent from the word. And mindful of that, if I don't respond, this may be why....
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Postby cooran » Wed May 21, 2014 6:26 pm

Hello PP.,

Here is a previous discussion on Self Retreats
viewtopic.php?f=41&t=15537

With metta,
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Postby Goofaholix » Wed May 21, 2014 7:54 pm

Travel to a retreat centre or monastery and do it there, I've been doing retreats for 20 years but I still don't think I'd be very successful trying to do it at home.
"Proper effort is not the effort to make something particular happen. It is the effort to be aware and awake each moment." - Ajahn Chah
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"Know and watch your heart. It’s pure but emotions come to colour it." — Ajahn Chah
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Postby Viscid » Wed May 21, 2014 8:06 pm

When we're at home we lapse into the habitual patterns associated with that environment. Everything in the home tells us to behave in the way we're used to behaving. When we're in a completely new environment, we don't have those past behavioural patterns to struggle with.
"What holds attention determines action." - William James
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Postby Mkoll » Wed May 21, 2014 8:07 pm

Yeah, the associations you carry (sleeping, eating, watching movies, etc.) with your home location and its familiar objects make it that much harder to act like an ascetic. Going to a location like a monastery or retreat center gets you away from those "triggers" and makes it easier to do.
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Postby Viscid » Wed May 21, 2014 8:12 pm

You could also significantly alter your home environment: smash the computer, empty your fridge, throw your mattress into the garden.. though you might regret that later.
"What holds attention determines action." - William James
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Postby purple planet » Wed May 21, 2014 8:15 pm

I have much less trouble with the asetic side of it - but more with the meditations - if i would just do the 8 precepts i would have little problem (did it once for a month when i couldnt even meditate more then 30 minutes a day)
Please send merit to my dog named Mika who has passed away - thanks in advance
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Postby Mkoll » Wed May 21, 2014 8:21 pm

PP,

I just noticed that your signature has changed and your dog has passed away. I'm very sorry for your loss and for Mika. It is very sad and painful to lose a pet. Our family dog, Ginger, just passed away last month after 12 happy years. She lived a good, comfortable life and I'm sure Mika did too.

May they have gone on to a good destination.

:anjali:
Peace,
James
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Postby purple planet » Wed May 21, 2014 8:41 pm

thanks - may your dog go to a good place and have a good life and reach nibbana -

i took care of her all day (the passing away part was not hard for me) - couldnt really meditate cause she would sometimes get caught somewhere or fall so i didnt want to meditate just to stop it every-time i hear a sound - there were times i was mindful during the day and it did make me want to do formal meditation but i couldnt - a good reason to mediate was so i can take better care for her

so now i finally can meditate formally and i can also do it all day - im pretty sure i wont have this option for long not sure i even got a month of "peace" before something bad will happen again - so i defiantly need to do a retreat now so i can deal better with the new thing more easily and better - im sure i could not take as good care for my dog if i hadnt advanced in meditation before - and it would probably be 10 times harder (probobly taking care for my 90 year old grandfather) (+shouldnt we always aspire to meditate as much as we can as if we die tomorrow?)

the things are that like i said its hard to meditate for me and when that breaking point happens well i really cant find a good reason to push throw it ( my dog use to be a good reason but shes dead i dont care for no one that much to be honest - and to improve on that i would probably need lots of time i dont have to practice metta)

so everything we do is dukkha - i can understand it and even experience it to some extent - but its still not clear enough to make me want to "push throw" the hard part

- i will change my question : why should i push throw the hard part ? (for myself ? - nah i rather sleep ... for others ? i dont feel such good feelings to others to a point im willing to sit throw the aversion (the metta helps in this but not to a point to help sit throw meditation) )
Please send merit to my dog named Mika who has passed away - thanks in advance
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Postby Sokehi » Wed May 21, 2014 9:37 pm

Just saying I'm sorry for your loss as well and will include this into my tonights metta meditation :anjali:
Get the wanting out of waiting

What does womanhood matter at all, when the mind is concentrated well, when knowledge flows on steadily as one sees correctly into Dhamma. One to whom it might occur, ‘I am a woman’ or ‘I am a man’ or ‘I’m anything at all’ is fit for Mara to address. – SN 5.2

If they take what's yours, tell yourself that you're making it a gift.
Otherwise there will be no end to the animosity. - Ajahn Fuang Jotiko

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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Postby seeker242 » Wed May 21, 2014 9:48 pm

purple planet wrote:I am trying to do a home retreat (talking to a teacher on the phone) - i can manage with the no eating -sleeping 6 hours - no music ect by will force
but i fail some times to manage to sit throw a meditation sitting -

what is the best thing to do once i cant keep meditating - i always get very tired when i give up on the meditation

until i found a better way i decided that instead of eating or watching videos whenever i fail to meditate i will just continue the retreat as usual i will just sleep whenever i feel i cant continue until i have the power to meditate again

does anybody have a better idea of what to do when i dont fell like i can continue to meditate ?


Pretend like you are at a retreat at an actual temple. You aren't allowed to just get up and walk out of the meditation hall whenever you want. You have a schedule and you keep the schedule. I find solo retreats do require much more effort and discipline than is required at a temple retreat. That is precisely why solo retreats are such good practice! As I see it, it's just a matter of discipline.

If the retreat schedule calls for you to sit for this long in the morning, etc. That is what you do. It doesn't matter what you want to do or don't want to do. That is what you do, period. That is how I structure my solo retreats. It does take discipline.

:anjali:
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Re: failing to meditate at home retreat

Postby Kamran » Sat May 24, 2014 7:10 am

I would listen to motivational dhamma talks like those of Thanissaro Bikhu. He gives a 15 min pep talk to the monks at his monastery before the evening meditation. They are available at dhammatalks.org.

Note that even for the monks at Thanissaro's monastery effort is required keep them motivated.
When this concentration is thus developed, thus well developed by you, then wherever you go, you will go in comfort. Wherever you stand, you will stand in comfort. Wherever you sit, you will sit in comfort. Wherever you lie down, you will lie down in comfort.
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