I can totally understand what you are saying. But in order to realize suffering and engender the will to jump out of this suffering, you don't have to know your past lives. Just look at your present sufferings and the reality of birth, death, and rebirth. The Buddha become disgusted with life when he saw the sufferings in this life, not that he saw his endless sufferings he suffered in endless previous lives. Reflection on the three marks of existence may help you. Also, I think that vipassana meditation is a god idea. It is said that the three marks of existence is connected. Only during meditation can you experience it yourself. For example, when you are aware of the tiny changes of your mind and body every moment, like the thoughts and emotions that you think as your self at that moment, rising and ceasing on their own, and the tiny itches on your body that comes and goes... You realize that things are impermanent. Also at the same time, you know that what is impermanent like the thoughts and emotions and the subtle changes in your body that you assert as yourself at that very moment, is not your self. Also, you can know that what is impermanent and not self is also suffering. This may help.
As for rebirths, there is no beginning to the rounds of rebirth. It is not possible to find a beginning point in which your stream of consciousness was activated or created from nothingness. If this was true, it would not make sense because if say all consciousnesses were created at the same time, with no kamma inheritance from a past life and no predispositions left from a past life, we would all start off the same in personality and mental conditions, and logically, we would all do the same actions and so on. We would be in the same realm right now and have the same Kamma, same life, etc.
So since there is no beginning, we can just imagine that we have been in every realm, suffered and enjoyed all the things that we just imagined in this life. Everyone has once killed you before, and everyone has once nurtured you before. It is hard to point out anyone from the street who has not been your mother or friend before. You have been a slave before, a prisoner before, a king before, a deva before, a hell being before, ... Because there is no beginning, there are endless possibilities all of which that you can think of right now has happened to you before in a remote past life. Enough to keep you disenchanted with samsara!!!
Another thing that I want to add is that the sutta on tears explains rebirth that has no beginning, and that the tears you shed from sufferings throughout previous lives gathered together exceeds that of the great oceans.