Vepacitta wrote:How does one act wisely when dealing with annoying people?
Which, actually, can be a 'difficult situation' How does one act wisely when dealing with annoying people? How does one restrain and control that mind - that "ever present constant "I" (Wallace Stevens) that we struggle with.
dude wrote:If there were no one around to annoy us, how would we train ourselves in the virtues of equanimity and forebearance?
Ben wrote:dude wrote:If there were no one around to annoy us, how would we train ourselves in the virtues of equanimity and forebearance?
An interesting thought.
It seems to presuppose that the source of our misery, and liberation,are external to ourselves. When in fact, all our misery and our key to liberation, are found within ourselves. When someone annoys us, we are really just experiencing the dukkha arising from unpleasant dhammas and our habitual reactions to them. The other person is just sensory data impacting on our sense organs. All the annoying is going on within ourselves. Its the misery we inflict upon ourselves.
If all people had an equanimious nature, i'd agree. People have qualities - good - bad - indifferent. It is a matter of us not letting their bad qualities become our bad qualities, getting their good qualities to be our good qualities. Why else would the Buddha speak so highly appropriate companionship? There are annoying people - but it is up to us to not let their annoyance become our annoyance. There are loving, considerate people - it is up to us to get their love and compassion to become our love and compassion.PeterB wrote:There are no annoying people. There is just annoyance. And as Ben says, thats in us.
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