Help in curbing my lustful addiction

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Help in curbing my lustful addiction

Postby helpneeded86 » Sat Oct 09, 2010 9:36 am

hey all,

I've been trying to curb my bad habit of visiting sex workers. I have made oaths to the Buddha and tried means to preempt myself from indulging in this bad habit of mine. I am usually a fighter, but I my fighting spirit seems to go down whenever my lustful needs emerges, and I cannot stop myself from walking into a massage parlor that offers cheap sexual services. I have managed to curb my habit after making a promise to the Lord Buddha for 2 months, but recently the lustful urges came up again, and I failed in my oath once again.

I'm seriously at my wits end, feeling defeated and utterly disgusted with myself. I am taking up meditation practice again, and I plan to keep at my practice no matter how tough it gets. But seriously, how does one combat these feelings of lust. I mean other than contemplating the unappealing aspects of the body? This method certainly does not help when my lustful urges come up. I am currently single, and will not get a girlfriend simply as an outlet to relieve my sexual needs. Neither do I want to continue my habit of visiting prostitutes.

I sincerely and respectfully ask for help from this Buddhist community.
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Re: Help in curbing my lustful addiction

Postby lojong1 » Sat Oct 09, 2010 10:00 am

helpneeded86 wrote:I mean other than contemplating the unappealing aspects of the body? This method certainly does not help when my lustful urges come up.
While we wait for the wise ones to appear...
What have you been doing between lustfits (fighting the fire before it gets out of control)?
Can you sit through one without trying to ignore it or make it go away?
What was your promise, and is there a more skillful one you could make?
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Re: Help in curbing my lustful addiction

Postby lojong1 » Sat Oct 09, 2010 10:05 am

NOT RECOMMENDED:
Buddhist monk cuts off penis and renounces refix
Reuters, Nov 22, 2006
"BANGKOK, Thailand -- A Thai Buddhist monk cut off his penis with a machete because he had an erection during meditation and declined to have it reattached, saying he had renounced all earthly cares, a doctor and a newspaper said on Wednesday.
The 35-year-old monk, whose name was withheld for privacy reasons, allowed medical staff at Maharaj hospital, 780 km (480 miles) south of Bangkok to dress his wound, but refused reattachment, hospital chief Prawing Euanontouch said.
"We cleaned up the wound, gave him some stitches, but he declined to have it reattached because he said had abandoned everything," Prawing told Reuters by telephone."
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Re: Help in curbing my lustful addiction

Postby Hanzze » Sat Oct 09, 2010 2:14 pm

_/\_
Last edited by Hanzze on Sun Oct 31, 2010 6:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Just that! *smile*
...We Buddhists must find the courage to leave our temples and enter the temples of human experience, temples that are filled with suffering. If we listen to Buddha, Christ, or Gandhi, we can do nothing else. The refugee camps, the prisons, the ghettos, and the battlefields will become our temples. We have so much work to do. ... Peace is Possible! Step by Step. - Samtach Preah Maha Ghosananda "Step by Step" http://www.ghosananda.org/bio_book.html

BUT! it is important to become a real Buddhist first. Like Punna did: Punna Sutta Nate sante baram sokham _()_
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Re: Help in curbing my lustful addiction

Postby Prasadachitta » Sat Oct 09, 2010 4:21 pm

Hello helpneeded86,

If you would like my advise it is find other committed dhamma practitioners to live with. It would be best if you were far from a place where sex workers are readily available. Also I advise not being ashamed to masturbate. In your circumstance I think masturbation is a wholesome way to care for your desires. See if you can care for yourself.

Take Care

Gabe
"Beautifully taught is the Lord's Dhamma, immediately apparent, timeless, of the nature of a personal invitation, progressive, to be attained by the wise, each for himself." Anguttara Nikaya V.332
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Re: Help in curbing my lustful addiction

Postby lojong1 » Sun Oct 10, 2010 4:19 am

Buddha been there done that. Anguttara Nikaya 1, first and foremost:
"1. Bhikkhus, I do not know of a form that captivates the mind of man as that of woman. The form of a woman indeed captivates the mind of a man. This is the first.
2. Bhikkhus, I do not know of a sound that captivates the mind of man as that of woman. The sound of a woman indeed captivates the mind of a man. This is the second.
3. Bhikkhus, I do not know of a smell that captivates the mind of man as that of woman. The smell of a woman indeed captivates the mind of a man This is the third.
4. Bhikkhus, I do not know of a taste that captivates the mind of man as that of woman. The taste of a woman indeed captivates the mind of a man. This is the fourth.
5. Bhikkhus, I do not know of a touch that captivates the mind of man as that of woman. The touch of a woman indeed captivates the mind of a man. This is the fifth.
11. Bhikkhus, I do not know of a thing more conducive to the arising of non-arisen sensual desires and the development of arisen sensual desires as an agreeable object. Unwise reflection of an agreeable object.
16. Bhikkhus, I do not know of a thing more conducive to the non arising of non-arisen sensual desires and the fading of arisen sensual desires as a loathsome object."

The loathsome object need not be an aspect of the body. It can be the inability to establish firm priorities. Go to the massage parlor or not, but know the difference.
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Re: Help in curbing my lustful addiction

Postby ground » Sun Oct 10, 2010 5:23 am

helpneeded86 wrote:But seriously, how does one combat these feelings of lust. I mean other than contemplating the unappealing aspects of the body? This method certainly does not help when my lustful urges come up.


Honestly I cannot imagine that these feelings of lust arise sort of "out of nothing" without being inattentive beforehand. IMO a lack of mindfullness is the cause.

Kind regards
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Re: Help in curbing my lustful addiction

Postby dhammapal » Sun Oct 10, 2010 5:25 am

I greatly reduced lust by making donations to the local Rape Crisis Centre and using medical terminology for parts of the anatomy e.g. mammary glands.

With metta / dhammapal.
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Re: Help in curbing my lustful addiction

Postby chownah » Mon Oct 11, 2010 2:18 pm

I think that the root cause of lust is horniness.....the best cure for horniness is (for many) sex.....I see nothing wrong with buying sex as long as you try to be sure that the ones you are having sex with are of appropriate age and not married and are in the business of their own free will etc. You also might try masturbating.

As long as your sexual activity is not an all consuming passion (do you have sex every day?...many times a day?...are you constantly thinking about it?....is it the sum total of your lifes ambitions?) then there is nothing wrong with exercising you passion.....hopefully once you are satisfied you can go on with other aspects of life.

My guess is that you are bored...ask yourself what you like to do for fun other than having sex....other than drinking beer...other than listening to music or watching movies.....I'll be that other than these your life is empty but I really don't know and it is just sort of a guess on my part.

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