From reading around this forum, it appears there does not appear to be much in the way of forgiveness in the suttas. From what I understand, the buddha ascribed metta for one's enemy, but didn't talk of forgiveness as such.
"These two are fools. Which two? The one who doesn't see his/her transgression as a transgression, and the one who doesn't rightfully pardon another who has confessed his/her transgression.
These two are fools."These two are wise. Which two? The one who sees his/her transgression as a transgression, and the one who rightfully pardons another who has confessed his/her transgression. These two are wise."— AN 2.21
delora wrote:Is metta practise acknowledging all the harm they have caused you, and still wishing well for them? in relation to this, how do you acknowledge past harm - is it worth analysing the past, bringing up memories, trying to understand someone and their motives? Particularly when their behaviour can be erratic and seemingly malevolent. I have heard that writing an autobiography is a good exercise. wondering what ppl thought?
"Monks, even if bandits were to carve you up savagely, limb by limb, with a two-handled saw, he among you who let his heart get angered even at that would not be doing my bidding. Even then you should train yourselves: 'Our minds will be unaffected and we will say no evil words. We will remain sympathetic, with a mind of good will, and with no inner hate. We will keep pervading these people with an awareness imbued with good will and, beginning with them, we will keep pervading the all-encompassing world with an awareness imbued with good will — abundant, expansive, immeasurable, free from hostility, free from ill will.' That's how you should train yourselves.
Let none through anger or ill-will Wish harm upon another.
Even as a mother protects with her life Her child, her only child,
So with a boundless heart Should one cherish all living beings;
Radiating kindness over the entire world:
Spreading upwards to the skies, And downwards to the depths;
Outwards and unbounded,
"Students, beings are owners of kamma, heir to kamma, born of kamma, related through kamma, and have kamma as their arbitrator. ...
delora wrote:There does not appear to be much in the way of forgiveness in the suttas...Forgiveness is a reconciliation of the past? or a way of relating to the past that leads to less suffering in the present. I'd say forgiveness is the same as pardoning, which is the same as not holding a grudge against someone. This either would be learning to live with the other person (or your memory of them), your subsequent anger, getting rid of expectations, and/or actively wishing well for your enemy.
delora wrote:How do you deal with...the memory...without pushing it out.
Is metta practice acknowledging all the harm they have caused you, and still wishing well for them?
delora wrote:From reading around this forum, it appears there does not appear to be much in the way of forgiveness in the suttas.
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