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and what of romantic love? - Dhamma Wheel

and what of romantic love?

Exploring Theravāda's connections to other paths. What can we learn from other traditions, religions and philosophies?
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knitted
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and what of romantic love?

Postby knitted » Sun Feb 06, 2011 10:29 pm

I am in turmoil, but I am not going to bore you with my failings. Family responsibilities, romantic love. So many attachments. Is it right to walk away for the sake of clarity?

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Annapurna
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Re: and what of romantic love?

Postby Annapurna » Sun Feb 06, 2011 10:34 pm

This is too little information to give a good reply.

In case you are a young man and have a wife and a small child, don't leave her alone with the baby.

Pull yourself together and do your duty.

If not, tell us more.
http://www.schmuckzauberei.blogspot.com/

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Ben
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Location: kanamaluka

Re: and what of romantic love?

Postby Ben » Sun Feb 06, 2011 10:42 pm

Greetings and welcome to Dhamma Wheel, knitted!
It depends what you intend to walk away from.
If you have dependents then it is not right - no matter what the motivation is.
If, however, you have no dependents then you should think long and hard about ending a relationship. Remember that no relationship is perfect and that they all require hard work.
Think about what you are giving up and whether your notions of the sort of lifestyle you wish to live are not founded on romanticism.

Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

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knitted
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Re: and what of romantic love?

Postby knitted » Sun Feb 06, 2011 10:45 pm


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Ben
Posts: 18442
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 12:49 am
Location: kanamaluka

Re: and what of romantic love?

Postby Ben » Sun Feb 06, 2011 10:52 pm

“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

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knitted
Posts: 8
Joined: Sun Feb 06, 2011 10:01 pm

Re: and what of romantic love?

Postby knitted » Sun Feb 06, 2011 10:59 pm


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Ben
Posts: 18442
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 12:49 am
Location: kanamaluka

Re: and what of romantic love?

Postby Ben » Sun Feb 06, 2011 11:04 pm

“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

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andre9999
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Location: Milwaukee, WI, US
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Re: and what of romantic love?

Postby andre9999 » Mon Feb 07, 2011 3:19 pm


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Annapurna
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Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2009 8:04 pm
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Re: and what of romantic love?

Postby Annapurna » Mon Feb 07, 2011 4:15 pm

http://www.schmuckzauberei.blogspot.com/

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Adrien
Posts: 110
Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 9:31 pm
Location: France

Re: and what of romantic love?

Postby Adrien » Mon Feb 07, 2011 6:16 pm

I'm not sure this is what you're looking for, but I've read a really great book that explain so much things about relationships : "On love" by Ajahn Jayasaro. It's a free book, but there is no "clear pdf" on the net (real pdf, not scanned). Someone from dhammawheel scanned it and gave me this link :

I know it's not the nicer way to read a book, but that's the best I have...

Maybe it will help you to understand better some dynamics between you and your wife. This could be good, even if it's "only" for a nicer separation.
Please don't hesitate to correct my english if you feel to

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knitted
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Joined: Sun Feb 06, 2011 10:01 pm

Re: and what of romantic love?

Postby knitted » Thu Feb 21, 2013 9:48 pm

it is 2 years since I opened this post. My relationship with my wife is strong and continues to grow (re-grow). It has been the words of advice from this small selection of posts that has given me the most strength. Now I'm not saying that it is a "perfect" love. But that is not what I seek. I think that is like smoke.

It is too easy to be mistake comfort with boring, but not wise to accept comfort as being sufficient.

Relationships - honesty and hard work. Transient moments of joy are the reward.

:namaste:

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James the Giant
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Re: and what of romantic love?

Postby James the Giant » Thu Feb 21, 2013 11:38 pm

Then,
saturated with joy,
you will put an end to suffering and stress.

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knitted
Posts: 8
Joined: Sun Feb 06, 2011 10:01 pm

Re: and what of romantic love?

Postby knitted » Thu Feb 21, 2013 11:41 pm

It has been a journey. I begin to understand happiness.

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retrofuturist
Site Admin
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Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 9:52 pm
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: and what of romantic love?

Postby retrofuturist » Fri Feb 22, 2013 12:45 am

Greetings,

I'm pleased it has worked out for you. When I read your comment "The more I do the less my partner contributes", I had a real sense of "been there, done that" and am pleased that (unlike in my comparable circumstance) you were able to get the relationship back on track. In my case, I tried my best, it didn't work, and I have moved on, happily.

I think that's the trick - if you put in your best effort, then whether or not the relationship survives or dies, whatever transpires will be the right outcome.

Metta,
Retro. :)
"Do not force others, including children, by any means whatsoever, to adopt your views, whether by authority, threat, money, propaganda, or even education." - Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh

"The uprooting of identity is seen by the noble ones as pleasurable; but this contradicts what the whole world sees." (Snp 3.12)

"To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead" - Thomas Paine

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SDC
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Re: and what of romantic love?

Postby SDC » Fri Feb 22, 2013 2:20 am

Good for you! :smile:

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Kim OHara
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Joined: Wed Dec 09, 2009 5:47 am
Location: North Queensland, Australia

Re: and what of romantic love?

Postby Kim OHara » Fri Feb 22, 2013 3:17 am



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