In my life I've suffered, and I perceive that I didn't get the best from any of my family members when growing up. Seldom did I have any close friend. Often I was picked on, and several times I was physically assaulted while at school or at the neighbourhood park. Looking back on life, it would be easy for me to be very angry.
Yet there isn't that much anger there. Some, I don't deny, but only some. Considering the anger issues of my mother, brothers and sister, I'm very, very calm.
I think the reason for this lack of anger stems from the role I had in my family: I was the listener. Every member of my family confided in me their thoughts and feelings, because I would listen. From listening I learned that everyone of them felt like they had been wronged. Over the years each has expressed a desire to be better, to be happy. Each member of my family has expressed confusion on how to be happy. They simply don't know how to live well. Not knowing how to live well, they live poorly and come into conflict with others. Not knowing how to live well they grasp after those fleeting sources of pleasure that come their way, even when they come at the expense of others.
Knowing that they have all wanted to be better, have thought of how to be better, but have not yet learned to be better, makes me feel sympathy for them. As the years have passed by my sympathy has deepened, and I've come to see that other people are like them, and like myself: trying to find better ways to be happy, but constantly being confused.
So, maybe you should not look at those people that have done you wrong. Instead look at those who have wrong other people and not you. Look at them, learn of them, see if you don't see what I've seen: that they do wrong because they are confused about what will make them happy.
If you see it often in those that you are willing to forgive, perhaps you'll come to see it in those that you are not ready to forgive. If that happens, maybe you will actually forgive them.
But however things turn out for you and your anger, I wish you the best.