Overcoming anger

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Overcoming anger

Postby Ajisai » Mon Sep 16, 2013 9:46 am

Hello everyone,

Being mindful of my thoughts I realized that I have a lot of angry thoughts many times a day.
I tend to be quickly upset/irritated by small/stupid things (people walking to slowly in front of me,co-workers making mistakes, etc.). It seems I'm lacking patience.
I almost always keeps these thoughts for me, so basically I'm the only one suffering from it.
When I see irritated thoughts appear, I try to brush them away, or replace them by something positive. Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not.

What I would really like to do is prevent these angry thoughts from arising.
Meditating has been helping a lot because after a sitting my mind is very calm for some time, but it does not last until the end of the day.
What can I do?

Thank you for reading me. :smile:
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Re: Overcoming anger

Postby Ben » Mon Sep 16, 2013 11:13 am

"One cannot step twice into the same river, nor can one grasp any mortal substance in a stable condition, but it scatters and again gathers; it forms and dissolves, and approaches and departs."

- Hereclitus


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Re: Overcoming anger

Postby Spiny Norman » Mon Sep 16, 2013 12:09 pm

Ben wrote:I hope this helps.

The Five Mental Hindrances and Their Conquest Selected Texts from the Pali Canon and the Commentaries
compiled and translated by Nyanaponika Thera


Yes, that's very comprehensive. Personally I find samatha and metta bhavana to be helpful antidotes.
Well, oi dunno...
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Re: Overcoming anger

Postby bodom » Mon Sep 16, 2013 1:25 pm

The Practice of Loving-Kindness (Metta): As Taught by the Buddha in the Pali Canon

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/auth ... el007.html

The Four Sublime States: Contemplations on Love, Compassion, Sympathetic Joy and Equanimity

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/auth ... el006.html

:anjali:
The heart of the path is SO simple. No need for long explanations. Give up clinging to love and hate, just rest with things as they are. That is all I do in my own practice. Do not try to become anything. Do not make yourself into anything. Do not be a meditator. Do not become enlightened. When you sit, let it be. When you walk, let it be. Grasp at nothing. Resist nothing. Of course, there are dozens of meditation techniques to develop samadhi and many kinds of vipassana. But it all comes back to this - just let it all be. Step over here where it is cool, out of the battle. - Ajahn Chah
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Re: Overcoming anger

Postby Mr Man » Mon Sep 16, 2013 1:46 pm

I think it can be useful to really become familiar with the physical sensations associated with anger. Can you feel it building up/erupting/the aftermath. Also reflect on anger & the results - how it effects you and those around you. Is it something you want to be?
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Re: Overcoming anger

Postby Ajisai » Mon Sep 16, 2013 2:11 pm

Thanks a lot, I am going to study this carefully. :anjali:

It is a bit off-topic but I would like to say I love this forum. I learnt a lot since I registered here and the good atmosphere makes I am not afraid to ask questions.
So thanks everyone on this forum, and special thanks to the admins and moderators.

Metta to you all! :group:
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Re: Overcoming anger

Postby Sam Vara » Mon Sep 16, 2013 5:06 pm

On the topic of angry thoughts, I love this little section from Ajahn Sumedho (From "Intuitive Awareness").

I always had to be special. It had to be Phra
Sumedho’s food and then the rest. That was hard to
deal with — to be a foreigner, a “Phra Farang”, and
then to have a special diet and special privileges.
That was hard for me to impose on the group, as I was
helping to pass out the food, I’d get very possessive.
The vegetable dishes they did have, I felt I had a right
to have a lot of, because the other monks were eating
all the fish, chicken and things like that. I found myself
aiming for the vegetarian dishes first so that I could
pass them out according to my own needs. It brought
up a really childish tendency in me. Then one day
another monk saw me doing this, so he grabbed the
vegetarian dish first and only gave me a little spoonful.
I was so angry when I saw that. I took this fermented
fish sauce, this really strong stuff and when I went past
his bowl, I splattered it all over his food! Fortunately,
we were forbidden to hit each other. This is an
absolute necessity for men — to have rules against
physical violence!

Other monks have talked about harbouring literally murderous thoughts about their fellow-monks and nuns.
So recognise that anger is pefectly natural, and don't get angry with yourself for being angry. It's what you do with that anger that counts! The other contributors here have given you some excellent advice. Another good source of advice is Robert Thurman's book on Anger
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Anger-The-Seven-Deadly-Sins/dp/0195169751
It is a bit Mahayana in flavour, but I got a lot from it.
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Re: Overcoming anger

Postby PimonratC » Tue Sep 17, 2013 10:22 pm

.

credit: http://atenlightenment.wordpress.com/2013/08/27/for-you-the-newcomer/




"...when we are angry
and become conscious of the anger,
we can detect the constant change
in the intensity of this anger.
Eventually, it will fade and disappear.
Whether or not the feeling of anger disappears,
what is important is that
the anger is seen as an object to be observed,
not belonging to us.
There is no “us” in the anger

We can observe other feelings
with this same understanding. .."



:reading:

This part of article could help us to recognise something about anger.



.
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Re: Overcoming anger

Postby dennis » Sat Oct 12, 2013 5:06 pm

I wonder Ajisai, if you have been able to discern exactly "what" causes these feelings to arise?

Are these feelings caused by incidents such as difficulty at work or school, or a rude driver on the freeway?

Or are they possibly associated with your very early life and the original reason for negativity, caused
by those incidents, has faded into your past?

If it happens you are able to identify the origin of your difficulty, it may be easier to manage by
addressing the aggravating factors before your anger arises, rather than as.

Good luck friend,

d
"I have seen the truth.
And the truth is called love.
And this is why everyone and everything is perfect."
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