The suffering as a result of my behavior became more and more apparent through my practice, and I just got completely disgusted with myself. One night, several years ago, on a new years eve I did several hours of meditation, then did a "formal" precepts ceremony (by myself) in front of an altar, and swore off the stuff I was doing. I had a few nights where I didn't sleep so well because I was used to being chemically dependent for sleep, but I persisted and it was totally worth it.
Samsara wrote: Bet they are hundreds of pounds though
That is excellent. I feel as though i often have the disgust....but less of the following-through will power. Im really hoping with continued practise i shall find the cravings easier to deal with, with mindfulness. My problem is i don't catch it early enough and before i know it i don't care about giving up, i don't care about the long term suffering, its highly annoying.
A retreat sounds like the best way to do it!! Sitting in my tiny flat with a depressed boyfriend doesn't help (not that there is any excuses other than my unwillingness to bear the situation) Bet they are hundreds of pounds though
Ben wrote:Hi Samsara
If its any consolation - you're not Robinson Caruso, so to speak!
Plenty of our members here have had pasts that involved long-term use or addiction to various substances. And many of our members have had great success with freeing themselves from addiction as a result of their Dhamma practice.
Ive looked up Goenka retreats and couldn't find a website, just alot of stories of how awful it was....so i worry.
Im sure if i stay a few times at Cittaviveka a few times they will let me stay for a week or something. Its all on hold anyway to a certain extent because of my final exams and dissertation i have to hand in in less than a month *stress*
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