PeterB wrote:When you married a Chinese woman you did not marry her entire culture.
Annapurna wrote:And always know: "This too shall pass"...
salmon wrote:Hi Ruud,
In chinese custom, for a younger generation to "boot" a elder out, it would result in that younger member being judged, cursed and gossiped about (all of which chinese people loooove to do). Not only would she have to bear with that, so would her parents, their parents and all the forefathers. Get the gist? You may find that putting up with the temporary loss of privacy will be more worth than the aftermath!!
It's tough...hell yeah!! I've been in positions like that before where I have to accommodate uncles and aunts in my house, some of whom I have almost never met. Not only that, because my family is apparently more affluent, we are sometimes expected to pay for their holidays.
I wish you luck and wished you never had to be put in this situation. May you be able to gain patience and merit from your generosity.
And yes...when you marry a chinese (or an asian), you DO marry the whole clan.
EDIT: If you are feeling rich, you could suggest paying for a hotel for them "so as to make their stay more comfortable" but several weeks will burn a hole in any pocket.
PeterB wrote:What merit is gained by an unquestioning compliance to dumb custom...whether of the East or West.
PeterB wrote:I am sorry SDC but I think thats nonsense. We are called to cultivate that kindness,those positive virtues that are real. Not to merely comply to social mores .
And the mere fact that any particular example of social mores are personally uncomfortable for us does not in itself imbue it with virtue.
We are not called on in walking the Buddhas way to don hair shirts or flagellate ourselves by adopting the more unreasonable ( to western sensibilties ) customs of those we happen to sojourn among.
We have not emerged from our own version of collective non individuation in order to regress to the collective under an exotic guise.
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