I just cannot see the good in people anymore and if I think I should try, then I think I will be taken advantage of somehow.
I almost forgot. When I first started, people would suggest Metta (loving-kindness) as an antidote to anger. I had to laugh when that was brought up
At that point in my study, simple Buddhist morality was sometimes a challenge. There wasn't a Sangha anywhere near, much less a teacher. I wouldn't have trusted a teacher anyway, due to a number of past experiences I was still carrying around.
It wasn't long though until some things began to sink in.
Everyone is just trying to be happy in their own way. I could wish them well in that, so long as they weren't trying to rip me. And no one has ever said that I'd just have to stand still and let someone abuse me.
I heard the Dalai Lama say that his religion is kindness - I could work at simply being kind, doing no harm, etc.
As I began to understand some of these things, Metta meditation began to make more sense. Because I had suffered, I felt more compassion for people who are still suffering. I appreciated kindness from others, so I understood how sharing my kindness was possible. Joy for others wasn't hard either. Greeting each and every thing equally, equanimity, is a work in progress
As I experienced some cessation of suffering, I began to really believe more of what I encountered in the Dhamma.
Over time, and with practice (the crucial point), I no longer automatically
saw everyone as some kind of potential threat until proven otherwise. It isn't gone, just watered down a lot. I also learned that I couldn't lose anything that was empty. If someone called me a %#@#$$, what did I lose or gain? If I looked at "I, me, mine," with that same view of emptiness, did "MY reputation" suffer? Did "MY self esteem" take a nose dive? How dare they interfere with MY view or MY schedule? Don't they know that "I" come first? When I encountered Buddhism, that all began to change....I don't come first anymore, by choice. "I/ME/MY" are no longer the measure of all things.
I'm not good at this yet, mind you. For me, progress goes from the most gross experiences, bit by bit, to more subtle levels. In time, maybe I'll get to the bottom, but I truthfully don't have that much time left.
BTW, if it's relationships with women that are highest on your list, maybe the Brahma Viharas are a good shopping list?? Looking for ladies that are loving-kind, compassionate, joyful for others and meet the world with equanimity, may seem hard to find. But you don't find what you don't look for. Other suggestions above about counseling help with those relationships appear to be good ones, too, IMHO
Please remember that I have nothing to teach - these are just my experiences and your milage may vary. I share in hopes that others may find something useful, and that they will share too.