Facebook & Suffering

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No_Mind
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Re: Facebook & Suffering

Post by No_Mind »

tiltbillings wrote: Your choice to worry about what others think of you. And just because you have had crappy experiences on FB that does not mean it would be so for others.
"Passive following triggers invidious emotions, with users mainly envying happiness of others, the way others spend their vacations and socialize," as this article succinctly puts it.

I am sure that my crappy experience does not mean everyone will have a crappy experience. But a study showed I am not alone and more importantly it showed that more one used FB sadder one became. The data in the study speaks for itself.

Monday morning and work beckons. Bye Mr Tiltbillings.

:anjali:
"The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”― Albert Camus
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tiltbillings
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Re: Facebook & Suffering

Post by tiltbillings »

No_Mind wrote:
tiltbillings wrote: Your choice to worry about what others think of you. And just because you have had crappy experiences on FB that does not mean it would be so for others.
"Passive following triggers invidious emotions, with users mainly envying happiness of others, the way others spend their vacations and socialize," as this article succinctly puts it.

I am sure that my crappy experience does not mean everyone will have a crappy experience. But a study showed I am not alone and more importantly it showed that more one used FB sadder one became. The data in the study speaks for itself.

Monday morning and work beckons. Bye Mr Tiltbillings.
It looks to be that your sadness is the result of your choices.
>> Do you see a man wise [enlightened/ariya] in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.<< -- Proverbs 26:12

This being is bound to samsara, kamma is his means for going beyond. -- SN I, 38.

“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” HPatDH p.723
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No_Mind
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Re: Facebook & Suffering

Post by No_Mind »

Mkoll wrote: Well, I hope you've changed your friendships around since then. Anyone who would say such a mean and humiliating thing in public and not apologize about it (which I'm assuming he didn't do) is not a nice person. I suggest you stay away from those folks.
No he did not apologize and I did not ask since he had evidently planned for that moment for 3 decades!!

I cannot change the other 149 friends but I also cannot face those from my school days. Those friends number about 18 in all. This guy ensured I cannot go to 25 year high school reunion next year.

I feel it is a "digital time suck" to spend time watching other people brag - even if that be 45 minutes a week.

:anjali:
"The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”― Albert Camus
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tiltbillings
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Re: Facebook & Suffering

Post by tiltbillings »

No_Mind wrote:
Mkoll wrote: Well, I hope you've changed your friendships around since then. Anyone who would say such a mean and humiliating thing in public and not apologize about it (which I'm assuming he didn't do) is not a nice person. I suggest you stay away from those folks.
No he did not apologize and I did not ask since he had evidently planned for that moment for well over 3 decades!!

I cannot change the other 149 friends but I also cannot face those from my school days. Those friends number about 18 in all. This guy ensured I cannot go to 25 year high school reunion next year.

I feel it is a "digital time suck" to spend time watching other people brag - even if that be 45 minutes a week.

:anjali:
All this energy and time over this, and you look no closer resolution now than you were when it all happened. Well, good luck with this.
>> Do you see a man wise [enlightened/ariya] in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.<< -- Proverbs 26:12

This being is bound to samsara, kamma is his means for going beyond. -- SN I, 38.

“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” HPatDH p.723
Spiny Norman
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Re: Facebook & Suffering

Post by Spiny Norman »

waterchan wrote: How about how violent video games are the cause of aggression and depression in today's youth?
Endless hours of violent computer games probably don't help anyone's state of mind.
Buddha save me from new-agers!
dhp273
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Facebook, The Economy, and Empathy

Post by dhp273 »

I see my friends spending endless kalpas :) on Facebook, unaware of the trap and addiction that it is. And I see them being taken advantage of by advertising and an economy that exploits and leaves them saddled with debt. I try to talk with them about these things but they say I am being negative, or they agree yet keep doing what they are doing. All I see is the suffering that will result. It gives me such a deep sadness. In this country if you do not use use Facebook or want to participate in the economy you are ostracized, you are an outcast. You are most certainly not the Buddha or the Jesus they pretend to worship. So with the sadness I am also more alone.

I do not know how to deal with my strong empathy of their quiet suffering. To know how free of suffering a person can be has suddenly put an even heavier load on my shoulders. It is depressing me and creating doubt. I do not know how to deal with it all.
LXNDR
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Re: Facebook, The Economy, and Empathy

Post by LXNDR »

dhp273 wrote:you are ostracized, you are an outcast. So with the sadness I am also more alone.
that's a blessing

save yourself and thousands around you will be saved (the idea is not mine)
dhp273
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Re: Facebook, The Economy, and Empathy

Post by dhp273 »

dhp273 wrote:I see my friends spending endless kalpas :) on Facebook, unaware of the trap and addiction that it is. And I see them being taken advantage of by advertising and an economy that exploits and leaves them saddled with debt. I try to talk with them about these things but they say I am being negative, or they agree yet keep doing what they are doing. All I see is the suffering that will result. It gives me such a deep sadness. In this country if you do not use use Facebook or want to participate in the economy you are ostracized, you are an outcast. You are most certainly not the Buddha or the Jesus they pretend to worship. So with the sadness I am also more alone.

I do not know how to deal with my strong empathy of their quiet suffering. To know how free of suffering a person can be has suddenly put an even heavier load on my shoulders. It is depressing me and creating doubt. I do not know how to deal with it all.
Why, if I put a post in one section it appears by itself in another? No one talked to me about it. I wanted this in Modern Theravada, not in wellness.
dhp273
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Re: Facebook, The Economy, and Empathy

Post by dhp273 »

LXNDR wrote:
dhp273 wrote:you are ostracized, you are an outcast. So with the sadness I am also more alone.
that's a blessing

save yourself and thousands around you will be saved (the idea is not mine)
My mind understands that but my body does not.
culaavuso
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Re: Facebook, The Economy, and Empathy

Post by culaavuso »

dhp273 wrote: I do not know how to deal with my strong empathy of their quiet suffering. To know how free of suffering a person can be has suddenly put an even heavier load on my shoulders. It is depressing me and creating doubt. I do not know how to deal with it all.
If knowing how free of suffering a person can be is functioning as a cause of suffering, perhaps it's best to put that knowledge aside and simply work towards freedom from suffering.
dhp273
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Re: Facebook, The Economy, and Empathy

Post by dhp273 »

culaavuso wrote:
dhp273 wrote: I do not know how to deal with my strong empathy of their quiet suffering. To know how free of suffering a person can be has suddenly put an even heavier load on my shoulders. It is depressing me and creating doubt. I do not know how to deal with it all.
If knowing how free of suffering a person can be is functioning as a cause of suffering, perhaps it's best to put that knowledge aside and simply work towards freedom from suffering.
Yes, that is the obvious action, but what I am saying is that I am stuck there.
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tiltbillings
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Re: Facebook, The Economy, and Empathy

Post by tiltbillings »

dhp273 wrote:
culaavuso wrote:
dhp273 wrote: I do not know how to deal with my strong empathy of their quiet suffering. To know how free of suffering a person can be has suddenly put an even heavier load on my shoulders. It is depressing me and creating doubt. I do not know how to deal with it all.
If knowing how free of suffering a person can be is functioning as a cause of suffering, perhaps it's best to put that knowledge aside and simply work towards freedom from suffering.
Yes, that is the obvious action, but what I am saying is that I am stuck there.
Only because you think you are.
>> Do you see a man wise [enlightened/ariya] in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.<< -- Proverbs 26:12

This being is bound to samsara, kamma is his means for going beyond. -- SN I, 38.

“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” HPatDH p.723
dhp273
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Re: Facebook, The Economy, and Empathy

Post by dhp273 »

tiltbillings wrote:
dhp273 wrote:
Yes, that is the obvious action, but what I am saying is that I am stuck there.
Only because you think you are.
Yes, uhm, thought is the problem. Again, that is obvious. (It feels like I came here saying "I am broke and do not know how to pay my rent" and do not know what to do and your advice is "You need more money".)

The Buddha gave advice regarding hindrances. If you have never been here please be careful what you say. This is not new to me, this is not a beginners issue.
daverupa
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Re: Facebook & Suffering

Post by daverupa »

Generate compassion and goodwill instead of empathy; you may find that 'empathy' is in fact compassion + judgment.

Also, engage with SN 47.19.
  • "And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting oneself one protects others? By the pursuit, development, and cultivation of the four establishments of mindfulness. It is in such a way that by protecting oneself one protects others.

    "And how is it, bhikkhus, that by protecting others one protects oneself? By patience, harmlessness, goodwill, and sympathy. It is in such a way that by protecting others one protects oneself.

- Sedaka Sutta [SN 47.19]
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tiltbillings
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Re: Facebook & Suffering

Post by tiltbillings »

"'I shall protect myself,' in that way the foundations of mindfulness should be practiced. 'I shall protect others,' in that way the foundations of mindfulness should be practiced. Protecting oneself one protects others; protecting others one protects oneself. And how does one, in protecting oneself, protect others? By the repeated and frequent practice of meditation. And how does one, in protecting others, protect oneself? By patience and forbearance, by a non-violent and harmless life, by compassion and loving kindness." -- SN 52,8

Before all else, you will need to learn to protect yourself, which mean being compassionate, forgiving and loving of yourself.
>> Do you see a man wise [enlightened/ariya] in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him.<< -- Proverbs 26:12

This being is bound to samsara, kamma is his means for going beyond. -- SN I, 38.

“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” HPatDH p.723
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