I've been meditating for about 4 months now, 40 minutes in the morning and 20 at night. I started out by using back support and keeping my back rather straight, which was comfortable and the 40 minutes was fine. Then, I bought a zafu, and found that I could sit and my back stayed perfectly straight without support, but I would get extreme pain in my tailbone (probably because I have a minor medical condition called a pilonidal cyst). So, I've been fiddling with different positions on the zafu and can sometimes find a position where I can make it through the entire 40 minutes with just a couple adjustments. (I've even been trying seiza, but it kills my right knee)
The pain is extreme, and I'm finding myself starting to dread the 40 minutes. "I" feel as though "I" am doing a good job being the pain and resistance, but, even though it seems as though "I" am getting in touch with just being during meditating, it's a very unpleasant experience.
So, I am left wondering, should I go back to the back support, where I can sit without much resistance? Or continue dreading but working with the painful postures?