What Do I Do?! (Post 4-month retreat)

General discussion of issues related to Theravada Meditation, e.g. meditation postures, developing a regular sitting practice, skillfully relating to difficulties and hindrances, etc.

What Do I Do?! (Post 4-month retreat)

Postby Chi » Wed Dec 05, 2012 2:04 pm

Hello Dear Yogis and Friends,

I just came back from a 4-month retreat at IMS Forest Refuge/Retreat Center.

Any encouragement from wiser, older human beings is helpful.

much metta to all!
Last edited by Chi on Tue Jan 01, 2013 6:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: What Do I Do?! (Post 4-month retreat)

Postby santa100 » Wed Dec 05, 2012 3:03 pm

Chi wrote:
I have no idea what to do with my life.

Work? Get a girlfriend? Do yoga? Read books? Watch movies? All this seems like samsara, but ordination is out of the question right now due to the health issue....

I have no idea. I am 24. Completely lost in life.


It's all a matter of perspective. As we speak, there're millions of 24-year-olds out there whose only thought at the moment is how to put enough food the table to feed themselves and their families. To them, work, girlfriend, yoga, books, and movies are luxurious items only exist in their dreams. So, study hard, get a decent job, and cultivate the Dhamma. There're lots of work to be done for oneself and for others. Good luck..
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Re: What Do I Do?! (Post 4-month retreat)

Postby DAWN » Wed Dec 05, 2012 3:52 pm

Do Good, Avoid Evil, Purify the Mind. :roll:

I'am in the same case like you, i feel the same, i'am 22.
I realy dont know why i was born, and what to do in this ocean of suffering. In the past thinking a lot about it, and i took decision to "Do Good, Avoid Evil, Purify the Mind."

As i dont need my own life, i dont need this body, feelings, perceptions, formations, consciosness at all, i have never ask anyone to give it to me, so i concider it like not me, like not myself like not i am, and concidering thus i direct it to Doing Good, Avoid Evil, Purify the Mind for the wellfare of these wich it belongs to.
I try to help others how i can, and dont loose any moment to do it the best way. Actualy suffeing of others is the only thing that my life guided by and supported by. If there is some one who want to life, he can take my life - he have a permission.
If beings want - they will feed this body, if they dont want - it will naturaly die.

I wait my death, but i try to do it good, without evil, with pure mind :| It's my counsil to you too, Friend. :meditate:
Sabbe dhamma anatta
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Re: What Do I Do?! (Post 4-month retreat)

Postby mikenz66 » Wed Dec 05, 2012 6:34 pm

Hi Chi,

From your posts I understand that you have been on several multi-month Retreats over the past year: Panditarama, Gaia House, and now IMS Forest Refuge. Did you discuss your concerns with your teachers? It would be helpful to talk to them, since, having met you, they will be in a position to assess your state of mind than can be achieved over the internet.

:anjali:
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Re: What Do I Do?! (Post 4-month retreat)

Postby cbonanno » Wed Dec 05, 2012 7:05 pm

Chi wrote:
I have no idea what to do with my life.

Work? Get a girlfriend? Do yoga? Read books? Watch movies? All this seems like samsara, but ordination is out of the question right now due to the health issue....

I have no idea. I am 24. Completely lost in life.



Meditating during retreats is easy. Meditating it the world is much harder. Did you forget your awareness under a cushion? :)

Just keep in mind that if you feel lost it means you are still with the rest of us. Stay with the feeling and look at it, do not try to give yourself direction because they will only take you away from awareness. Yes, it is all samsara, as are meditation retreats.

As far as your itching and burning goes, sounds like it could be a prostate infection. Been there. For me, I cut out all sugars for a few months and went on a low does of goldenseal root for three weeks, but best to see a doctor and release yourself a bit.

P.S. What a frightened person calls lost a brave one calls an expedition.
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Re: What Do I Do?! (Post 4-month retreat)

Postby David N. Snyder » Wed Dec 05, 2012 7:36 pm

Chi wrote:Work? Get a girlfriend? Do yoga? Read books? Watch movies? All this seems like samsara, but ordination is out of the question right now due to the health issue....


Get a haircut. Get a job. :tongue:

Seriously though, for most people this would not be any question or decision to make. You can't pay bills, buy food, etc. without a job or some source of income. You can't take a girlfriend out on the town without money either. Are you a trust-fundie (i.e., rich kid) ? How did you afford to go on those long retreats with no employment income coming in?
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Re: What Do I Do?! (Post 4-month retreat)

Postby DAWN » Wed Dec 05, 2012 7:45 pm

David N. Snyder wrote:
Chi wrote:Work? Get a girlfriend? Do yoga? Read books? Watch movies? All this seems like samsara, but ordination is out of the question right now due to the health issue....


Get a haircut. Get a job. :tongue:

Seriously though, for most people this would not be any question or decision to make. You can't pay bills, buy food, etc. without a job or some source of income. You can't take a girlfriend out on the town without money either. Are you a trust-fundie (i.e., rich kid) ? How did you afford to go on those long retreats with no employment income coming in?


Good kamma you mean?
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Re: What Do I Do?! (Post 4-month retreat)

Postby James the Giant » Wed Dec 05, 2012 9:31 pm

What to do now?
Keep the five precepts scrupulously, perfectly.
Meditate a minimum of three hours a day. Sounds like you have the time.
Strive to be aware in every moment, back in daily life.
Study a bit every day.

And go see a careers advice person. Take online quizzes to find your ideal job. Think about how you can do something wholesome in the world.

Good luck!
Then,
saturated with joy,
you will put an end to suffering and stress.
SN 9.11
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Re: What Do I Do?! (Post 4-month retreat)

Postby James the Giant » Thu Dec 06, 2012 9:09 am

Or go to a monastery and volunteer as a long-term lay guest or anagarika. Or do volunteer work at a meditation centre long term.
That way you can be immersed in a dhammic environment, get used to monastic life, and still have the occasional masturbate, thus avoiding the dreaded blue balls.
I know a german guy, he's been an anagarika for decades, suits him fine. He lives at the monastery and is pretty much a monastic, but can't go the extra step because of health things.
Then,
saturated with joy,
you will put an end to suffering and stress.
SN 9.11
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Re: What Do I Do?! (Post 4-month retreat)

Postby Yana » Thu Dec 06, 2012 9:47 am

Chi wrote:itching and burning in the scrotum and penis) for the last 3 months.
Work? Get a girlfriend? Do yoga? Read books? Watch movies? All this seems like samsara...
I have no idea what to do with my life.



There's a lot of things you can do but...uh..you need to see a Doctor..

Well maybe make a life plan..like a general guideline of your life.

I have one.I know it's stupid but..keeps me grounded.

Just start with the Keeping the 5 Precepts.which isn't very easy to do by the way.
Set aside a regular Meditation Time.
Read and study the suttas or read dhamma books.
Be generous with charity (dana)

Then really study and work as well and save money.
Enjoy harmless entertainment,go out...etc.

you can do it.Cheer Up! :smile:
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Re: What Do I Do?! (Post 4-month retreat)

Postby Chi » Tue Dec 11, 2012 6:35 pm

David N. Snyder wrote:
Chi wrote:Work? Get a girlfriend? Do yoga? Read books? Watch movies? All this seems like samsara, but ordination is out of the question right now due to the health issue....


Get a haircut. Get a job. :tongue:

Seriously though, for most people this would not be any question or decision to make. You can't pay bills, buy food, etc. without a job or some source of income. You can't take a girlfriend out on the town without money either. Are you a trust-fundie (i.e., rich kid) ? How did you afford to go on those long retreats with no employment income coming in?


Hey David,

I did buzz my hair :)

For the long retreats, I put costs on my credit card mostly. My mom has helped me out with money a few times. In between retreats, I would basically scramble around and utilize my skills to earn cash (tutoring, helping people sell things on craigslist, marketing/recruiting). Also, I raised like $700 on gofundme.com. And I had somebody pay me back $7500 of debt which was very helpful for my last retreat. Good luck, good karma, good parents.

I don't know. I always thought I would ordain soon. It feels ordination is still a major goal in my life, but it feels like it is on the back of the mind instead of the front of the mind at this moment. Sensual desire is still powerful in the mind even though I have seen the dukkha of sense desire many, many times. It's a bit humbling and disconcerting. I am finding sense restraint very difficult after this last retreat.
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Re: What Do I Do?! (Post 4-month retreat)

Postby DAWN » Tue Dec 11, 2012 6:50 pm

Good luck, good kamma (action), good parents !
Perfect!

If you are someone smart - you will make a choice of ordaining.
If you are some one lazzy - you will make another choice (drugs?).

I wish you the best choice. :namaste:
Sabbe dhamma anatta
We are not concurents...
I'am sorry for my english
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Re: What Do I Do?! (Post 4-month retreat)

Postby Chi » Tue Dec 11, 2012 7:11 pm

DAWN wrote:Good luck, good kamma (action), good parents !
Perfect!

If you are someone smart - you will make a choice of ordaining.
If you are some one lazzy - you will make another choice (drugs?).

I wish you the best choice. :namaste:


I am really not sure it's as simple as you make it sound. There are many intelligent people who have not and will never ordain. There are many intelligent people who ordained and then disrobed. So I don't think we can make a blanket statement like "if you are smart, you will definitely ordain."

The view that ordination is good and everything else is not is a view that I am investigating deeply. In the end, it's just a view.
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Re: What Do I Do?! (Post 4-month retreat)

Postby DAWN » Tue Dec 11, 2012 8:53 pm

Chi wrote: I am really not sure it's as simple as you make it sound. There are many intelligent people who have not and will never ordain. There are many intelligent people who ordained and then disrobed. So I don't think we can make a blanket statement like "if you are smart, you will definitely ordain."

The view that ordination is good and everything else is not is a view that I am investigating deeply. In the end, it's just a view.


It's true !
It would be better to say not smart, but 'wise'. Not just wise, but Wise.

You know in the last phrase, firstly i said 'Middle choice', after i change. But by Middle choice i mean a best choice. I dont know if you seewhat i mean.

Anyway you will make the best choice, he will be best because there would be reasons for this choice, and if there is a conditions to some choice, this choice is best.
You alredy know what to do. Very deeply in you, this choice is alredy done. You have to understand what is this choice. It will be truly yours.

Anyway, i wish you the best. :namaste:
Sabbe dhamma anatta
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I'am sorry for my english
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