Zen, Metta, and how can I overcome selfishness?

[eindoofus]

Hi, I'm beginning to learn meditation and I've been going the Zen route. The reason why I've started is to help rebuild my attention span, however, I'm trying to put those expectations aside so that I continue with the right mindset. After studying the various types of meditation methods I came across Metta meditation, and it caught my interest.

There was a time early in life when my family was very neurotic and this made me extremely sensitive. I would feel extreme empathy towards other people's pain, but it was almost too much. For a time I thought it was a gift, but knowing that pain exists in others is useless unless you can do something with that knowledge, and I was not the type of person to draw out the happiness in other people or even myself. It's still hard for me to not judge and just be happy.

So in time I shut that part of myself out and I've become a very selfish person. I try to be good towards other and do good deeds, but my mind is typically focused on just myself. Because of this I find ordinary conversations very difficult since I care little about what the other person's subjective view and experiences are. Unless their teaching me something new I find it very difficult to care and I rarely remember details about them. The next time I have a conversation with them I have nothing to say and I'm sure we both leave the conversation feeling a sense of disconnection due to my carelessness.

I was thinking about pursuing Metta meditation to help me in connecting to other individuals in a more positive way, rather than just focusing on myself, but it sounds like it's a very proactive and difficult practice.

Sorry about all the writing. I guess what my question is, as a beginning meditator should I continue to do Zen or is Metta meditation something that can be done by beginners as well? If so, can it possibly still help me with my concentration problems as well? Is there a recommended path to learning Metta meditation, and is there any overlap with Zen?

[LonesomeYogurt]

Actually, the Buddha recommended metta meditation to beginners all the time.

Here are some great talks about metta and metta meditation from Bhante Vimalaramsi.

Metta meditation isn't difficult, and it shouldn't be strenuous. If you have the right mindset going in, it's a joyous and uplifting practice. Just be kind to yourself. I don't know much about metta meditation in the context of Zen, but they definitely don't contradict each other.

[eindoofus]

Thanks @LonesomeYogurt, do you happen to know of any good resources for learning Metta and possibly any crutches for a beginner? For example, I know Zen teachers sometimes recommend that beginners count their breath in order to assist in focusing on it.

[Coyote]

do you happen to know of any good resources for learning Metta and possibly any crutches for a beginner? For example, I know Zen teachers sometimes recommend that beginners count their breath in order to assist in focusing on it.

Hi eindoofus. Metta medition should be quite easy to focus on, as it is often quite discursive. I would say metta is good, but all four brahmaviharas is better.
Depending on your temperament and personal preference you might prefer to learn the brahmaviharas through these chants, which I like to do .

http://feeds.amaravati.org/chantingbook ... -37%29.mp3

http://feeds.amaravati.org/chantingbook ... 039%29.mp3

http://feeds.amaravati.org/chantingbook ... 043%29.mp3

There are also recordings on the abhayagiri website if you prefer.

There are probably many good talks and books out there as well. I can't recommend any in particular, but I know Ayya Khema has written and talked about metta extensively. Perhaps this will get you going: http://www.aimwell.org/Books/Pesala/Love/love.html
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/auth ... html#basic
There are many other books and articles on those websites, incase you are unaware of them - but they do have a Theravada focus.

Metta is basically there to counter ill-will - against yourself, and others, which will of course benefit your concentration practice.
A good practice is to mentally wish that those who you meet to be well, happy and free from suffering as and when you meet them. Sympathetic joy (mudita) would also help counter feelings of selfishness and an uncaring attitude.

Metta,
Coyote.

[Dan74]

Hi, I'm beginning to learn meditation and I've been going the Zen route. The reason why I've started is to help rebuild my attention span, however, I'm trying to put those expectations aside so that I continue with the right mindset. After studying the various types of meditation methods I came across Metta meditation, and it caught my interest.

There was a time early in life when my family was very neurotic and this made me extremely sensitive. I would feel extreme empathy towards other people's pain, but it was almost too much. For a time I thought it was a gift, but knowing that pain exists in others is useless unless you can do something with that knowledge, and I was not the type of person to draw out the happiness in other people or even myself. It's still hard for me to not judge and just be happy.

So in time I shut that part of myself out and I've become a very selfish person. I try to be good towards other and do good deeds, but my mind is typically focused on just myself. Because of this I find ordinary conversations very difficult since I care little about what the other person's subjective view and experiences are. Unless their teaching me something new I find it very difficult to care and I rarely remember details about them. The next time I have a conversation with them I have nothing to say and I'm sure we both leave the conversation feeling a sense of disconnection due to my carelessness.

I was thinking about pursuing Metta meditation to help me in connecting to other individuals in a more positive way, rather than just focusing on myself, but it sounds like it's a very proactive and difficult practice.

Sorry about all the writing. I guess what my question is, as a beginning meditator should I continue to do Zen or is Metta meditation something that can be done by beginners as well? If so, can it possibly still help me with my concentration problems as well? Is there a recommended path to learning Metta meditation, and is there any overlap with Zen?

I think doing a regular meditation retreat is a very good remedy against acute selfishness. Might take more than one, though!

Metta meditation can be very good too, but in either case I recommend practicing under a teacher.

[Aloka]

I was thinking about pursuing Metta meditation to help me in connecting to other individuals in a more positive way, rather than just focusing on myself, but it sounds like it's a very proactive and difficult practice.

This short metta instruction video from Ajahn Jayasaro might help to clear up any misunderstandings about the practice.



.

"Universal Loving Kindness" by Ajahn Sumedho might also be helpful

http://www.dhammatalks.net/Books3/Ajahn_Sumedho_Universal_Loving_Kindness.htm

with kind wishes,

Aloka

[bodom]

See Sharon Salzbergs Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness. It is an excellent introduction and resource for the practice of metta meditation.