Anger and Aversion on the Road

[Piinaan]

Thailand's roads are the second most dangerous in the world. There is a reason for that: Individuals drive with total abandon and without consideration of other, and there is absolutely no enforcement for 'moving violations' as there is in the West, so there are no sanctions for dangerous driving and there is nothing to motivate Thai drivers to change their behaviour - This is the state of what 'Is'. I understand that intellectually.

A number of times a week, I get in my car and drive the 60 kilometers from my home in Lamphun Thailand to Chiang Mai. The 'internal dialogue starts immediately. It goes something like this:

"Dang!!!! Omg, he almost drove right out in front of me without looking."
"Why is this guy driving down the centerline of the road. How many times do I see this each day?"
"That guy signaled right, and then cut across three lanes of traffic to turn left. How many times do I see this each day. Why do they do this???"
"Dang??? Where did that car come from. He just about clipped my bumper when he passed me at 160kph!!!"
"Why did this person just pass me and slam on the brakes just to make a turn. These is no traffic behind us?"
"<while driving in the slow lane at the speed limit a car pulls behind me and starts honking the horn and blinking the lights> I just don't get it. What does this guy want me to do?"
" Dang!!!! That motorcycle just drove across the highway and that car missed him by inches. Why?????"
...and the event unfolder minute by minute; every minute a dangerous situation arises in front of me.

...and the internal dialogue goes on until I park at my destination, very happy to get out of the car. As an exercise in awareness, I counted the number of times comments like this arose in my internal dialogue. Approximately once every two minutes.

Dealing with anger and aversion like this at home is maybe a a couple of times a day if at all. But on the road......

I know this is Shankara arising, intellectually. At home I can watch it, give it room to dissipate, and let it go.
On the road, it's one instance after another after another; minute by minute.... Driving on the road in Thailand is akin to being inside a living Mario Brothers arcade game: something is coming at you every moment of your journey.

Stephan Levin once said something to the affect of attempting to see the events unfolding like logs in a river: you avoid the log and move along your way. There's 'nobody' driving, just a log in the river. But driving in Thailand is like driving in a log jam while navigating a set of rapids. There is no break in the stream of events. I've driven all over America -- nothing remotely compares.

How do I react? Anger, aversion, fear. Even if a 'steel' myself to the upcoming drive, plan to let things just happen and attempt to let them go, it just doesn't work that way. After two or three near misses that could easily cause an accident, it's difficult to maintain awareness in the here and now. What I experience is 'internal dialogue constantly commenting on events that unfold. I said this happens about every 2 minutes, which is about the frequency of dangerous events unfolding before me during my journey. Trust me, I am aware of the situations and the dialogue, and I bring awareness back to awareness of self and mind, but it's fragile and tentative.

It's immensely stressful, and I really don't handle it well. What to do?

[Piinaan]

There might be a question of why I put this in the 'Mediation' category. I think like this:

Formal sitting mediation gives you the space to delve deeply into the subtleness of the mind, and to watch that subtleness of arising and passing away. You can watch the aggregates: sight as sight, hearing as hearing, feeling as feeling, taste as taste, smells as smell, form as form, mind as mind. But mediation doesn't stop just because you get out of your sitting position and get on with your day. That's the point where difficult meditation starts: awareness of being as you move through everyday life events.

So, at least for me, the driving issue is a problem of dealing with excessive stimulus while attempting to maintain awareness outside of 'formal sitting mediation', but inside of 'meditation during everyday activity'.

So this is about 'mediation'; about dealing with the arising and passing away of events without become enmeshed in them.

[Ben]

If its too uncomfortable or anxiety inducing, don't drive.
If, however, it is bearable then over time it may prove a useful bellwether for your progress.
kind regards,

Ben

[Piinaan]

If its too uncomfortable or anxiety inducing, don't drive.
If, however, it is bearable then over time it may prove a useful bellwether for your progress.
kind regards,

Ben

Unfortunately Ben, that is not an option. I'm sure some people consider just getting up and living in the world as "too uncomfortable or anxiety inducing", but spending your life in your bedroom is not a realistic option. Nor is not driving an option for me. I have responsibilities to take care of. It I didn't, I would have remained a monk. But I'm laity; I have to deal with the world as it is. Driving is part of being in the world as a lay person. It just is.

This is just the way things are. I've been driving in Thailand for over 8 years. I understand the nature of it. Now I'm attempting to find someone, advanced on the path so-to-speak, to address methods of dealing with situations like I discussed above. How many followers on the Therevadan path are in the same boat? Many I think. I've been mediating for about 40 years. You'd think I'd have a handle on it by now Lol. I don't.

I'm just looking for suggestions, and hoping someone in this forum has....advanced insight....panna.

And you are right, "over time it may prove a useful bellwether for your progress" That is true. Now I'm looking for techniques to address the issue.

[Ben]

Ok, I am not familiar with Thailand and whether there are public transport options available to you.
But the fact remains that you have an uncomfortable situation you need to deal with on a fairly regular basis. My advice to you, is to advert your attention to your mind state when you feel aversion or fear arising while you are driving. You could also avert your mind to the dominant sensation within the body when you feel fear or aversion. Except for the arupajhanas, all vedanas (sensations) are accompanied by cittas. I find this most helpful. Vedananupassana has been my main meditation object for some decades.
I hope that is of assistance.
with metta,

Ben

[Sam Vara]

Stephan Levin once said something to the affect of attempting to see the events unfolding like logs in a river: you avoid the log and move along your way. There's 'nobody' driving, just a log in the river. But driving in Thailand is like driving in a log jam while navigating a set of rapids. There is no break in the stream of events. I've driven all over America -- nothing remotely compares.

How do I react? Anger, aversion, fear.

Seeing the events like logs in a river can be skillful, but maybe it doesn't work so well under these circumstances. Could you try to view the situation with more compassion - both for yourself and for other drivers? See those who create problems for you as poor suffering individuals who have to risk life and limb because they are forced to chase a livelihood. See them as unskillful and endangered beings who don't know how to keep themselves safe and who are driven (excuse the pun!) to hurl themselves into this mayhem every day. And for yourself, of course - wish yourself well and give yourself credit for trying to avoid causing suffering.

beings are owners of kamma, heir to kamma, born of kamma, related through kamma, and have kamma as their arbitrator.

[jnak]

It's immensely stressful, and I really don't handle it well. What to do?

If it's any help, let me say that I feel that way driving in the US, where traffic is rather orderly. I try to remember that I am not the general manager of the universe, so why should I expect things to go the way I think they should.

I practice anapanasati and something I'm trying lately is to develop an attitude of abandoning my usual preoccupations for the duration of my meditation. In this manner I hope to develop the breath as my sole preoccupation. To the extent that my meditation impacts the rest of my life, perhaps I'll ultimately abandon my preocuppation with how others act and focus solely on my own actions.

[dhammarelax]

Thailand's roads are the second most dangerous in the world. There is a reason for that: Individuals drive with total abandon and without consideration of other, and there is absolutely no enforcement for 'moving violations' as there is in the West, so there are no sanctions for dangerous driving and there is nothing to motivate Thai drivers to change their behaviour - This is the state of what 'Is'. I understand that intellectually.

A number of times a week, I get in my car and drive the 60 kilometers from my home in Lamphun Thailand to Chiang Mai. The 'internal dialogue starts immediately. It goes something like this:

"Dang!!!! Omg, he almost drove right out in front of me without looking."
"Why is this guy driving down the centerline of the road. How many times do I see this each day?"
"That guy signaled right, and then cut across three lanes of traffic to turn left. How many times do I see this each day. Why do they do this???"
"Dang??? Where did that car come from. He just about clipped my bumper when he passed me at 160kph!!!"
"Why did this person just pass me and slam on the brakes just to make a turn. These is no traffic behind us?"
"<while driving in the slow lane at the speed limit a car pulls behind me and starts honking the horn and blinking the lights> I just don't get it. What does this guy want me to do?"
" Dang!!!! That motorcycle just drove across the highway and that car missed him by inches. Why?????"
...and the event unfolder minute by minute; every minute a dangerous situation arises in front of me.

...and the internal dialogue goes on until I park at my destination, very happy to get out of the car. As an exercise in awareness, I counted the number of times comments like this arose in my internal dialogue. Approximately once every two minutes.

Dealing with anger and aversion like this at home is maybe a a couple of times a day if at all. But on the road......

I know this is Shankara arising, intellectually. At home I can watch it, give it room to dissipate, and let it go.
On the road, it's one instance after another after another; minute by minute.... Driving on the road in Thailand is akin to being inside a living Mario Brothers arcade game: something is coming at you every moment of your journey.

Stephan Levin once said something to the affect of attempting to see the events unfolding like logs in a river: you avoid the log and move along your way. There's 'nobody' driving, just a log in the river. But driving in Thailand is like driving in a log jam while navigating a set of rapids. There is no break in the stream of events. I've driven all over America -- nothing remotely compares.

How do I react? Anger, aversion, fear. Even if a 'steel' myself to the upcoming drive, plan to let things just happen and attempt to let them go, it just doesn't work that way. After two or three near misses that could easily cause an accident, it's difficult to maintain awareness in the here and now. What I experience is 'internal dialogue constantly commenting on events that unfold. I said this happens about every 2 minutes, which is about the frequency of dangerous events unfolding before me during my journey. Trust me, I am aware of the situations and the dialogue, and I bring awareness back to awareness of self and mind, but it's fragile and tentative.

It's immensely stressful, and I really don't handle it well. What to do?

Smiling all the time increases my awareness, I suggest to try it while driving.

Smile all the time
dhammarelax