Dhamma Wheel Buddhist Forum

I'd like to address 2 issues:

[1] I just sat for 15 minutes...and basically mind chattered for 13 of them! Not literally of course, I didn't time this, but it was like, what's the point!? I know we just 'take it back to the breath no matter what or how many times we wander', but I was wondering if any others experience this? It isn't every time, but really, 95% of my sitting meditation was just bonkers.

Second and more serious issue.

[2] I'm starting to lose my faith and belief in almost everything. But this is coming from just sitting mediation. I mean, I know about the Noble 8 Fold Path, and in trying to be a kind loving person in general, I tend to live the path (badly!) by default. I mean I don't drink, smoke, eat meat very very sparingly, I don't swear, I try to be thoughtful and loving to all, live a clean life, I hate nobody, you know, usual stuff.

But whilst sitting this morning (ironically during my 13 minute mind chattering session!) I realised the almost laughable siutation of what I think I believe to be true. God? Astrology? Paganism? Illuminati? Aliens? I was like...hang on, do I really believe all this?

I came to the realisation (not saying this is what I hold to now, not saying this is what I do believe) that there is nothing out there. Nothing at all. No God, Aliens, Astrology, Illuminati, paganism, witchcraft, magic, no religion. There's just us and death. Life and death. And maybe...just maybe...some kind of continuation/afterlife etc which I would attribute to Buddah's teachings.

Any thoughts? Any would be appreciated.

[1]That's a pretty common issue. You are experiencing your monkey mind. With some time and effort, your mind will become more peaceful. Maybe this simile helps:

Ajahn Brahm wrote:It is like a person who goes to work all day Monday and gets no money at the end of the day. "What am I doing this for?", he thinks. He works all day Tuesday and still gets nothing. Another bad day. All day Wednesday, all day Thursday, and still nothing to show for all the hard work. That's four bad days in a row. Then along comes Friday, he does exactly the same work as before and at the end of the day the boss gives him a pay cheque. "Wow! Why can't every day be a pay day?!"

Why can't every meditation be `pay day'? Now, do you understand the simile? It is in the difficult meditations that you build up your credit, where you build up the causes for success. While working for peace in the hard meditations, you build up your strength, the momentum for peace. Then when there's enough credit of good qualities, the mind goes into a good meditation and it feels like `pay-day'. It is in the bad meditations that you do most of the work.

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Collective wrote:I just sat for 15 minutes...and basically mind chattered for 13 of them!

How about those other 2 minutes?

Keep on truckin' ...

Be gentle with yourself Collective...Have you ever practised the Brahma Viharas ? I would recommend that you look into them. They start with wishing ourselves well and then move on to sending good will to others. Over time it means that we commence our awareness of the breath in a positive mind state. It is true that we can take any mind state as an object for awareness, but most people particularly in the early stages of Dhamma life find it useful to cultivate positive mind states.