I can´t sit and meditate

[villkorkarma]

Hello
Earlier in my practice i didnt have så much knowledge about dukkha så i could sit for hours to meditate...
But now things hav haappen to me and iam aware of dukkha and so i become so big depressed when i sit and meditate
and my legs hurt and its so boring så i cant sit more then maybe 3 minutes before i sat easily 5 hours...that would not be happening now, never.
naturally i just opens my eyes and stop the meditation after like 30 second or something,
is it really the life meaning to sit and meditate and hope reach enligtment so i can come in to buddhahood and be there for ever?
i think the meaning is to create a heaven on earth, just really good fun friends to hang out with all the time, nothing can beat that

[tiltbillings]

Hello
Earlier in my practice i didnt have så much knowledge about dukkha så i could sit for hours to meditate...
But now things hav haappen to me and iam aware of dukkha and so i become so big depressed when i sit and meditate
and my legs hurt and its so boring så i cant sit more then maybe 3 minutes before i sat easily 5 hours...that would not be happening now, never.
naturally i just opens my eyes and stop the meditation after like 30 second or something,
is it really the life meaning to sit and meditate and hope reach enligtment so i can come in to buddhahood and be there for ever?
i think the meaning is to create a heaven on earth, just really good fun friends to hang out with all the time, nothing can beat that

It seems you are not meditating, but are, rather, lost in thought.

What type of meditation are you doing, what is your practrice when you sit to meditate?

[jcsuperstar]

try walking and meditating then

[Guy]

Hi Villkorkarma,

Hello
Earlier in my practice i didnt have så much knowledge about dukkha så i could sit for hours to meditate...
But now things hav haappen to me and iam aware of dukkha and so i become so big depressed when i sit and meditate
and my legs hurt and its so boring så i cant sit more then maybe 3 minutes before i sat easily 5 hours...that would not be happening now, never.
naturally i just opens my eyes and stop the meditation after like 30 second or something,
is it really the life meaning to sit and meditate and hope reach enligtment so i can come in to buddhahood and be there for ever?

I am not sure of your understanding of some of the basics of Buddhism so I will start from scratch, even if you know these things already it can be a good idea to refresh your memory from time to time...

There are 3 kinds of skilful intentions: kindness, compassion and renunciation. Why are they called "skilful"? They are called skilful because anything we think, say or do based on these intentions will lead to beneficial results for ourselves and others. The 3 unskilful intentions are: ill-will, cruelty and clinging - actions of body, speech or mind based on these intentions lead to negative outcomes.

The reason I mention Right Intention is because it sounds to me like you have been creating unskilful meditation kamma (kamma means intentional acts of body speech or mind). Maybe you think that you will "get somewhere" if you sit through the pain. Maybe you have conditioned your mind in such a way that you are "big depressed" when the mind knows it's in for another hour of torture. Maybe I'm wrong, but I would recommend that next time you meditate please check your intentions at the start of the session (make sure that you are being kind, gentle and making peace with your body and mind, not trying to control your body or fight your mind) and see whether I am right about this or not.

You could even take a break from meditation altogether for a week or two and then when you come back really make an effort to set up those skilful intentions of kindness, compassion and renunciation. It doesn't matter if you meditate for 30 seconds or 5 hours make sure that these three intentions are there.

If your mind is down focus on your goodness. If you keep the five precepts then recollect how harmless you are or if are generous then call to mind some generous acts you have done. If your mind is crazy just tell it "okay crazy mind, go and do what you like I won't try to stop you!" don't try to resist it with ill-will. Whatever happens happens, make peace with whatever you are experiencing in each moment and be kind to yourself in each moment - don't make war with yourself or your meditation object!

i think the meaning is to create a heaven on earth, just really good fun friends to hang out with all the time, nothing can beat that

If you do breath meditation, for example, make sure you aren't trying to control the breath. Treat the breath like you would treat a good friend (to borrow some advice from Ajahn Brahm). Create heavenly mindstates through kindness towards yourself both in and out of meditation time.

Also I highly recommend (if you aren't already doing so) to attend some meditation classes or get yourself a good meditation manual. My favourite book on meditation is Mindfulness, Bliss and Beyond by Ajahn Brahm. Also here is one I haven't finished reading yet but is highly regarded among meditators: Mindfulness in Plain English by Ven. Henepola Gunaratana.

Happy meditating!

With Metta,

Guy

[villkorkarma]

I don´t think i have bad karma i think i have very good karma.
what do u mean with dont controll the body?

i think im not sure that meditation sit with closed eyes is the best i can do but who knows for sure that thing that?

[villkorkarma]

S n GOenka says that meditation in the leg or in the head is good results in the beginning sp pain isnt always a bad sign and he says also
dont change your posture often that is sign of ignorance, but i dont know...

Iam a very good boy actually and i see goenka on video and see hear that he is react with craving and aversion when he give metta in a video he talks a little bit.

goenka says - dont react with craving or aversion just observe, he says just dont do nothing you must do something, Abrahm Jahn says, just do nothing,
goenka says just try to dont talk so much, i say , talk is good if you do it without craving or aversion

my life is very complicated i really are attention on my thoughts, very strange movements sometimes thoughts like "go back and do your fault right" - So, i go back and in examplecase turning my left foot alittle bit forward.

I have done some things iam a shamed of, like have slept with ugle womans, and talked about dumb things, distrurbed others with high speeach example speeach with craving and aversion, its like iam a another person now iam more sensitive for what my atmosphere things about me much more nicer guy to all living beeings iam very iam maybe extreme carefull i never react it feels like that.

one guy in this forum said, dont reach enlightment dont be a meditatior, if you read this, who said it to you, and why shouldnt i be a meditatior and why shouldnt i reach enlightenment? iam open for other ways then just reach nibbanic peace and so go in to buddhahood afterwards to. warmly, John

[Guy]

Hi Villkorkarma,

I don´t think i have bad karma i think i have very good karma.
what do u mean with dont controll the body?

What I was suggesting is to check your attitude/motivation/intention which you bring to meditation.

Are you meditating with expectations? Do you want to get somewhere or attain something? This is wrong intention (craving and clinging).

...Or are you starting meditation with the thought "whatever happens I will be content with that"? This is the right intention of renunciation.

Are you trying to force your body to just "sit through pain" or are you fighting with unwanted mental states? This is wrong intention.

...Or are you kind, gentle and compassionate to your body and mind? This is right intention.

Of course this is only my understanding of what right and wrong intentions are. I have practiced meditation with wrong intentions and it has only led my mind to have aversion towards meditation. Now I try to practice with right intentions and it has led my mind towards really enjoying and looking forward to meditation.

Next time you meditate ask yourself at the end of the session "what intentions did I bring to this meditation, how has the mind changed as a result? is it happier than it was at the start or less happy? is it more calm or more agitated? is it more clear or more confused?"

I hope this makes sense.

With Metta,

Guy

[villkorkarma]

Yes I have right intentention

[Guy]

Hello Villkorkarma,

Yes I have right intentention

Very good, keep it up!

one guy in this forum said, dont reach enlightment dont be a meditatior, if you read this, who said it to you, and why shouldnt i be a meditatior and why shouldnt i reach enlightenment? iam open for other ways then just reach nibbanic peace and so go in to buddhahood afterwards to.

I think you might be referring to the following Ajahn Chah quote...

Do not try to become anything. Do not make yourself into anything. Do not be a meditator. Do not become enlightened. When you sit, let it be. What you walk, let it be. Grasp at nothing. Resist nothing.

My understanding of the quote is that Ajahn Chah is teaching us not to get too caught up in our ideals and expectations. When you meditate just let things take their natural course without worrying about results. Simply put in the right causes (kindness/gentleness/patience/letting go of craving and clinging) in the present moment.

Having said this though, make sure you don't overlook the value of good instructions from a well-practiced teacher. It's also useful to remember there is a huge difference between just listening to instructions, agreeing with them and actually putting them into practice.

With Metta,

Guy

[nathan]

Sometimes when we meditate we are aware of what is pleasant and sometimes when we meditate we are aware of what is unpleasant. This will also be true if we do not meditate. When we meditate it will move conditions in the direction of that which is pleasant becoming more likely something that we will be aware of in the future. This does not happen in a way that is easy to see until we have been meditating for long enough to see how this is so but we will see that this is so if we continue to meditate. I hope you will continue to meditate until you can see this is so.