JackV wrote:Hello people.
The title may be a bit misleading in terms of what this post is actually about but I cannot think of another way to phrase it.
To set the scene I have been practicing daily for the last month or so focusing on my breathing in and out with special attention to the sensation of the enter and exit of air in my nose (I tend to breath through my nose so I figured I wouldn't change natural habbits)
Normally when I begin I get the normal thoughts and things popping into my minds eye and I just label it as "thought" and then draw my attention back to the sensations on my object of focus. (Obviously some days the "thoughts" are thicker and faster than others but thats not the issue as such)
Well when I feel that I am getting deeper - if you like - into my practice and my breathing gets much shallower I find that I find it much more difficult to label distracting monkey mind thoughts as thoughts as I did previously as often I am unsure if they are or not. It seems like the greater my focus of my breathing the greater the intensity of the thoughts or maybe its that they are of a different quality than previously. Sometimes it seems like they pop out of nowhere (I know this is not the case) but whereas previously the causal connections are quite clear these are like freak waves; striking without warning and,
I feel, sweeping me away.
It quite difficult for me to express as its such a subjective thing, like trying to describe a dream to someone - it is this and its also that.
Has anyone else expreienced anything similar to this? I mean I will continue on regardless and be aware of these things as they arise and watch them trying to understand more, but it feels that where I have built up and understanding of my mind and its little flares and tics to a certain level I now feel powerless with these things, as I said, sweeping me away. I only seem to be aware of whats happened half way down the road.
Any assistance, ideas or similar experiences would be a great help.
In regards to your question do I label them verbally or not, initially I do but it doesn't feel quite right.
However as I proceed through mindfullness of all my daily actions I have found that without actually mentally-verbally marking thoughts as recollections etc then they are harder to remove oneself from. It seems to make the distiction between thought and observation easier.
Its always great to get feedback such as this though, thank you very much for it, its invaluable in preventing your concerns becoming magnified and monstrous the way things have a tendancy to do when you have no way to express them outwardly.
nathan wrote:Yeah, that's what paying attention is like. It helps a lot to understand that most of what happens in the mind and body has been happening all along whether we paid attention to it or not.
If we don't have a compelling reason to pay attention to most of it we won't.
So the main thing that is happening that is new when we practice meditation is that we are paying attention to this kind of stuff at all. It's relatively rare that something about what happens in the mind and body actually changes because we are paying attention other than that the mind can be more attentive or that it can be more completely concentrated. If that is kept in mind it is easier to relax when noticing something for the first time. It is also good to remember to reflect that "this is not me, not mine, not myself." So letting go of continually looking for something that is "new" and the consideration that anything is "me" can both help to relax the mind into greater alertness and deepening calmness.
Freawaru wrote:Hi Nathan,
Sure, but you see those vibrations are kinda distracting. I mean, I have not yet experienced a serious problem of body coordination but it is rather odd to feel your legs and feet, well, vibrating themselves down the stairs. The tactile sense is confused. When giving attention to the the vibrations the body does not seem to be quite where it really is but fluctuating around it's physical position. So I worry again. It would be truly helpful if someone would explain what it is and where it will lead to (hopefully something useful) because then I would see some reason to take care to discern between real tactile sensation and those vibrations instead of just working on blocking them out again.
I see what you mean. It doesn't sound too alarming. I guess I won't tell you any of my weird stories though.
I find the satisfactory answers to "what is this now?" questions come from just continuing to examine the stuff. I think the responses apart from that generally run towards consulting a physician if you are really concerned about something. Your comfort level will probably change along with things if you take your time with it. If it is disorienting give it the added attention it requires.
That's what I do. I have watched a lot of otherwise "whole-seeming" forms of experience break apart into smaller bits and pieces on further inspection and it comes across in different ways. Sometimes the senses seem more impacted by it than other times but it all sheds light on similar kinds of things going on. Some things I get used to, some of it passes. If it doesn't lead to more understanding it is probably of less use to further understanding so that is probably the real determinant of whether I will continue to pay attention or not. Some of the more uncomfortable things have been more helpful for me. You will probably know best whether or not to give something more or less attention as long as you don't rule newly noticed things out too quickly.
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