Past "hunting" on meditators

General discussion of issues related to Theravada Meditation, e.g. meditation postures, developing a regular sitting practice, skillfully relating to difficulties and hindrances, etc.

Past "hunting" on meditators

Postby unspoken » Tue Aug 03, 2010 4:13 pm

Recently my mother and sister just don't like me doing meditation. They thought I am getting crazy because I kept reading books about dhamma. She said the past will "hunt" on me and only meditate in monastery and so. I do not have the chance to go to the monastery now and I did not assign myself to a teacher. I know clearly what should I do during vipassana meditation and jhana meditation. I can see my everyday progress. Self-examine will be the best check point in meditation. But my family don't accept that I should meditate.

So what should I do? People around my mom would tell her something like watch out for your son as don't let him getting "crazy"
unspoken
 
Posts: 223
Joined: Thu Jul 15, 2010 3:41 pm

Re: Past "hunting" on meditators

Postby Virgo » Tue Aug 03, 2010 4:46 pm

unspoken wrote:Recently my mother and sister just don't like me doing meditation. They thought I am getting crazy because I kept reading books about dhamma. She said the past will "hunt" on me and only meditate in monastery and so. I do not have the chance to go to the monastery now and I did not assign myself to a teacher. I know clearly what should I do during vipassana meditation and jhana meditation. I can see my everyday progress. Self-examine will be the best check point in meditation. But my family don't accept that I should meditate.

So what should I do? People around my mom would tell her something like watch out for your son as don't let him getting "crazy"

Don't listen to people that tell you not to meditate.

Kevin
Virgo
 
Posts: 1209
Joined: Sun Feb 14, 2010 10:52 pm

Re: Past "hunting" on meditators

Postby PeterB » Tue Aug 03, 2010 4:48 pm

Do you want to share with us your age unspoken ?
PeterB
 
Posts: 3903
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2009 12:35 pm

Re: Past "hunting" on meditators

Postby Goedert » Tue Aug 03, 2010 5:55 pm

unspoken wrote:Recently my mother and sister just don't like me doing meditation. They thought I am getting crazy because I kept reading books about dhamma. She said the past will "hunt" on me and only meditate in monastery and so. I do not have the chance to go to the monastery now and I did not assign myself to a teacher. I know clearly what should I do during vipassana meditation and jhana meditation. I can see my everyday progress. Self-examine will be the best check point in meditation. But my family don't accept that I should meditate.

So what should I do? People around my mom would tell her something like watch out for your son as don't let him getting "crazy"


Meditation is the last 2 parts of the Eightfold path.

Four brahma-viharas will be a good option to you.
User avatar
Goedert
 
Posts: 312
Joined: Tue May 18, 2010 9:24 pm
Location: SC, Brazil

Re: Past "hunting" on meditators

Postby Ben » Tue Aug 03, 2010 7:19 pm

Greetings unspoken,

unspoken wrote:So what should I do?


Try doing your meditation at times that are less likely to be noticed by your family. For example - pre-dawn and after everyone has gone to bed in the evening.
kind regards

Ben
"One cannot step twice into the same river, nor can one grasp any mortal substance in a stable condition, but it scatters and again gathers; it forms and dissolves, and approaches and departs."

- Heraclitus


Compassionate Hands Foundation (Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • Buddhist Global ReliefUNHCR
Buddhist Life Stories of Australia

e: ben.dhammawheel@gmail.com
User avatar
Ben
Site Admin
 
Posts: 16145
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 12:49 am
Location: Land of the sleeping gods

Re: Past "hunting" on meditators

Postby jcsuperstar » Tue Aug 03, 2010 7:30 pm

remember the kindness of your mother in giving birth to you and watching over you as a small child, think of the kindness of your family who are just worried about you, use this as a basis for metta and meditate with that, you can both achieve jhana and use it for vipassana and there will be no worries about going crazy, and your family will no longer be the problem you see them as being now, but rather the impetus to follow the path
สัพเพ สัตตา สุขีตา โหนตุ

the mountain may be heavy in and of itself, but if you're not trying to carry it it's not heavy to you- Ajaan Suwat
User avatar
jcsuperstar
 
Posts: 1915
Joined: Wed Dec 31, 2008 5:15 am
Location: alaska

Re: Past "hunting" on meditators

Postby lojong1 » Tue Aug 03, 2010 8:03 pm

unspoken wrote:But my family don't accept that I should meditate. So what should I do?


from MN 114: "It was said, “Saariputta, I say, dwellings are also twofold those that should be used and not used” On account of what was it said by the Blessed One? Venerable sir, when using certain dwellings demerit increases and merit decreases, such dwellings should not be used,when using certain dwellings demerit decreases and merit increases, such dwellings should be used. It was said, “Saariputta, dwellings too are twofold, those that should be used and not used.” It was said on account of this."
http://www.dhammaweb.net/Tipitaka/read.php?id=148

I think there are also other suttas saying that even though the requisites are easily obtainable in a location, if there is little progress in meditation, leave.

I'm not sure that would be a good idea in your case, unless it really truly is your top priority.
lojong1
 
Posts: 580
Joined: Sat Dec 26, 2009 2:59 am

Re: Past "hunting" on meditators

Postby chandrafabian » Wed Aug 04, 2010 12:15 am

Doing meditation in a family who doesn't understand meditation is tricky,
It is wise to meditate inconspicuously so that people didn't realize you are practicing, like Ben said
for exampe in our room. Or when our family doesn't need our presence.
Better still if possible to attend intensive retreat, under guidance of experienced teacher.
If we practice intensively at home, our family might think we are somekind of freak or a fanatic jerk.
And the worst is, they think we are going crazy.
chandrafabian
 
Posts: 56
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2010 12:26 am

Re: Past "hunting" on meditators

Postby lojong1 » Wed Aug 04, 2010 12:28 am

chandrafabian wrote:And the worst is, they think we are going crazy.

The worst is, we will go crazy. Cognitive dissonance is a real killer.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance
Last edited by lojong1 on Wed Aug 04, 2010 6:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
lojong1
 
Posts: 580
Joined: Sat Dec 26, 2009 2:59 am

Re: Past "hunting" on meditators

Postby rowyourboat » Wed Aug 04, 2010 10:49 am

Do YOU think you're going crazy? If not then your question is whether to please your parents or not. Do you do only what is good for others, even when it is not good for you? How much do you care about your needs? Who is going to look after your needs if others around you don't? As a counterpoint to all the non self there is an 'atta vagga' chapter on self (self determination that is) in the dhammapada. Find a middle way which is good for both your parents as well as your self. Act normally when you are with them. But make sure you do your practice at other times.

With metta

RYB
With Metta

Karuna
Mudita
& Upekkha
rowyourboat
 
Posts: 1949
Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 5:29 pm
Location: London, UK

Re: Past "hunting" on meditators

Postby unspoken » Fri Aug 06, 2010 10:22 am

Thanks you guys for the good advices. I practice meditation before I go to sleep everyday. no one notice me... =)

I am 16 this year. Vipasanna meditation for me is going good. But the thing is when I try to just focus my breath and quite some time had passed and yet I did not felt any way I am going to the 1st jhana.

Let me make it clear so I wont get messed up. Vipassana take mental note on rising and falling of the breathing. While jhana is to concentrate on it untill u don't feel like breathing but you you are? And both of them I can use the mental noticing technique to help me ignore the surrounding?

And lately my ears got some sharp beeping sounds. I saw on the forum where they say it could be a sound after you did a long time of vipassana or absorption. I started 2 months ago. Each week around 4 times meditating 30minutes. I was just wondering
do a person could have a fast achievement in meditation?

Sorry I asked too much. You all could quote any question of mine and answer while part of it as you guys like.

Sadhu
unspoken
 
Posts: 223
Joined: Thu Jul 15, 2010 3:41 pm

Re: Past "hunting" on meditators

Postby lojong1 » Fri Aug 06, 2010 7:45 pm

unspoken wrote: Vipassana take mental note on rising and falling of the breathing.

I've been to many Goenka Vipassana retreats [did I read somewhere that's what you were doing?], including a Satipatthana Course. My view was that anapanasati [in/out breathing focused at the nose in Goenka's style]--taught the first few days--is what you fall back on when the vipassana [Goenka's body-sensation scanning] gets too scary or you find yourself ditracted. Jhana at those retreats is a non issue, just not a goal at all, and anapanasati isn't done long enough for most people to attain jhana [using anapanasati].
Or did you attend a youth "vipassana" retreat? If so, there may have been more focus on anapanasati.
A person's meditation can develop fast. Note the beeps, stay focused, as you've seen that even after hearing the beeps, life goes on as usual--the beeps themselves are not a significant achievement.
Sitting everyday is a great way to develop. If your life between sits is incredibly stressful, progress may be slower [maybe not happen at all? Depends on you].


"Continuity is the key to success." That is, not just continuing to sit regularly, but to maintain sati every moment until success. That's why retreats work so well.
Last edited by lojong1 on Fri Aug 06, 2010 11:39 pm, edited 3 times in total.
lojong1
 
Posts: 580
Joined: Sat Dec 26, 2009 2:59 am

Re: Past "hunting" on meditators

Postby rowyourboat » Fri Aug 06, 2010 8:42 pm

Hi Unspoken,

Samatha is to just concentrate on one thing. The ability to concentrate might LEAD TO jhana, which are states of consciousness which arise in very deep samadhi. Your description, sorry to say does not sound like a jhana, but then I have not heard your full description of it.

Vipassana is to see the impermanence of whatever you are focused on and not just the object itself.

I think you should read up a bit more around these two to get them clear in your mind. But well done for trying it out. You might get far.

with metta

RYB :thumbsup:
With Metta

Karuna
Mudita
& Upekkha
rowyourboat
 
Posts: 1949
Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 5:29 pm
Location: London, UK

Re: Past "hunting" on meditators

Postby chandrafabian » Mon Aug 09, 2010 10:56 am

Dear Unspoken,
It might be very helpful if you try to participate in intensive Vipassana meditation retreat under knowledgabel teacher, let's say 10 days.
To practice Vipassana we need unbroken/continuous mindfullness, if we attend intensive retreat, the situation usually conducive for developing unbroken mindfullness.

Mettacittena,
fabian
chandrafabian
 
Posts: 56
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2010 12:26 am


Return to Theravada Meditation

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: no mike and 5 guests