freefall wrote:Do you mind confirming or reexplaining what you are saying? Thank you, and sorry for the thick head.
Sure, I'm willing to elaborate. I just find that I can tend to go on and on and on searching for a way to say something in a better way and I probably am more clear if I can say something in a very few words. Everyone is correct in telling you to set aside expectations but they are likely well aware of many things of which you may not be aware. Things you need to understand. You can live life with out any expectations at all if you are willing to accept whatever happens and you do not care what happens. Does this describe you? Or do you expect more? Do you expect that if you are well instructed and well trained that you will be able to get a job done or do you expect that you can just go apply for any job in the world and be just as qualified to do it as the next guy? Does this make sense to you?
1.That implies that when I am meditating I am looking at myself from a perspective that can effectively measure and define who I am.
With meditation we are working towards having that perspective, we start from where we are. We get there by practicing in a very specific way and not just by "whatever way we feel like". We practice with one thing foremost in mind. This body, these sensations, feelings, thoughts, everything, is not me. We just look at our body and mind as if it is all alien, a complete unknown, because it is. So long as we keep this prime directive foremost in our minds we will always and increasingly see that this is true and we will eventually arrive at full understanding of what we are.
We are not working towards a self definition, we are fixing a broken machine and yes, some parts are worth keeping and some parts are better thrown away. If we see this we benefit, if not we remain confused.
2. You seem to be saying the examined (with calm and insight) life diminishes the frequency/severity of unpurposeful events in addition to creating understanding about what is best for ourselves.
Not merely purposeless but unwholesome, unhealthy and harmful thoughts, speech and action which will hurt us and can easily destroy us. Furthermore we discover how wholesome, healthy and beneficial thoughts, speech and action will heal us and bring us immeasurable joy, peace, knowledge and wisdom.
3. What isn't our feelings and thoughts?
This goes back to the first point. You have to see for yourself. The Buddha and those who have likewise fully known and understood for themselves all assure us that none of it is ours. I am quite convinced, even though I still see very little, but I have put some time into looking. When we sit to meditate or when we walk and meditate or as we work through our day we naturally have assumed that all of it is me, myself and mine. The body is mine, the sensations are mine, the feelings are mine, all that is sensed is my experience, the thoughts are mine; it is all me and mine. That is the natural, untrained assumption and even more than this we will be held accountable by everyone else for all of that. So whether it is ours or not so we are compelled to think, feel and act as if it is me, myself and mine just to get through life in this world.
Because this is our natural practice, we know nothing else unless we practice something else. When we sit down to practice as if none of what is in or of the body and mind in whole or in part is me, we have no choice but to put up with the patterns of continuing to identify with all of it almost entirely. We train to give up that practice and adopt a new one. So usually we continue to assume that some or all of the feelings are me or some or all of the thoughts are me or that the awareness which can observe the thoughts and feelings are me. In fact none of it is me, not a single molecule or even one wisp of awareness, none of it. But we don't even realize how much of it is completely hidden to that awareness. So every time something new is felt or thought or comes to awareness we immediately jump on it and think "ah, this is new, this is very pleasant, this must be me". Or else we think, "uhhgh, this again, this is unpleasant, I don't want this to be in me, I don't want to look at this, I want this to go away" or whatever. Continuing on in this way we continue to remain blind and unwise even after a million years of meditation.
When we study the Buddha's teaching we are being blessed by the teachings of the greatest meditator we have ever known of and he makes very clear, in comprehensive detail, how to proceed. We are always, always, always, to consider all things that we observe in our body and mind and even all things that are observing those other things to be NOT ME, NOT MYSELF and NOT MINE. If we practice this always, everything is meditation. If we do not do this, we are not meditating as the Buddha taught and so we cannot expect to gain the benefits or the wisdom that comes from following the path he showed us.
I can only refer you to the Buddha's teachings. Go directly to these. Read. Ponder. Consider and act on these teachings. No one here or anyone else can teach you better. I am sure of it and I am sure you would see this as well. When you understand better what the Buddha is teaching us all, then it will be easier for you to benefit from the things that other followers here and elsewhere have also learned from following the Buddha's teaching and taking steps to walk that path.