My Young Oncle Cittasanto,
please explain me how things are. Impermanemt, unpersonal, unsatisfactory, conditioned or is this an different case?
there are places on earth where layman had addopt may things from Buddhas wisdom and tradtion. For expample form of address. Where I am, its usal to put others higher or minimum reargding to their age (older or younger, you might remember Buddhas advices). So I would need call you puu (which is equal to young oncle), I you prefer to be called big brother it'S also ok.
Preaching people are normaly addressed as "lok ta" which is equal to "respectable Grandfather". "Lok" is an adress like lord or sir, while "ta" refers to grandfather or wise. To attach "my" is one more addition to express the bond. I thought that "my respectable Grandfather" would be maybe to heavy to bear for you. My young oncle is a very polite adressing at least as I guess your are not so old.
But since they also learn english here ther got more and more the idea of all are equal, ther is just you and me left. Respectful adressing is that is even disgusting felt in such sociaties, totaly contrary of what the Buddha had taught. Even in my language the english way has much influnces and old tradtional ways are lost. There is only one person left, "I".
So it is actually with many things in a Buddhist colored sociaty, of couse mostly things are just done traditional like the stanza we discussed above. Sometimes later we can also addopt it with heart, which is much more difficult if it was not learned in young years. If one one dayrelays totaly on the Sangha, don't use or hurt something outside the sangha anymore, that is perfect, that 100% refuge. Till this day it's a nice tradtion or a way to keep the own (my, our) community united which has sometimes less to do with the Sangha.
That is why such stanzas are recitated just traditional (normaly People even don't knowing the meaning), but when good usuals and understaning will come together one day, they are perfect. To be part of the (formal) Sangha one day is mosty the ambition, even it is only in old age.
Its just difficult if we take the stick always only just on one side, thinking we know. The other side will not come up. So here we usually train intelectually on the other side of the stick. Maybe we understand intellectually that we need to lift the stick in the middle.
So if I had done you harm with calling you my uncle, pleace tell me. Maybe we can even make a reconciliation.
Just that! *smile*
BUT! it is important to become a real Buddhist first. Like Punna did: Nate sante baram sokham _()_