Rude People, Frequent Unpleasant Encounters - Kamma?

[HWP]

Peoples with bounded eyes are running
Leaded by fear and seeking of happyness
They collide with anyone who is on their road
They dont want to harm anyone
They want just to join happyness and stop running
The wise one, without bounded eyes
Can see running peoples
The wise one have compassion of them
So the wise one dont collide with them

Yeah, but it can be quite upsetting when I think about it. I just had words of condolences from an acquaintance. However, this reminded me of some callous responses. One from an organisation, which my mother was a member. There was not even a "I am sorry to hear that". Just that my mother's name would be removed from the database and that there would be no representative (not even if paid) to attend the funeral - this is only the privilege of the Board of Directors. The staff just hanged up on me when I questioned more.

There was another woman, who was the daughter of an old neighbour. I had called her to inform about my mother's wake. This daughter just irritably told me that her mother had difficulty attending because of her chronic illness. I expressed that I was sorry to hear that. Yet, there was not a single word of condolence from this woman. She just said "I will inform my mother and see what she wants to do with it" and then heavily put the phone down. I was really upset and questioned why do I keep on encountering such rude people; they are disrespectful even to the deceased. My mother had given this woman gifts when she was younger...

Sorry for the rant; this was one of my ways of coping with the loss...

[DAWN]

Peoples with bounded eyes are running
Leaded by fear and seeking of happyness
They collide with anyone who is on their road
They dont want to harm anyone
They want just to join happyness and stop running
The wise one, without bounded eyes
Can see running peoples
The wise one have compassion of them
So the wise one dont collide with them

Yeah, but it can be quite upsetting when I think about it. I just had words of condolences from an acquaintance. However, this reminded me of some callous responses. One from an organisation, which my mother was a member. There was not even a "I am sorry to hear that". Just that my mother's name would be removed from the database and that there would be no representative (not even if paid) to attend the funeral - this is only the privilege of the Board of Directors. The staff just hanged up on me when I questioned more.

There was another woman, who was the daughter of an old neighbour. I had called her to inform about my mother's wake. This daughter just irritably told me that her mother had difficulty attending because of her chronic illness. I expressed that I was sorry to hear that. Yet, there was not a single word of condolence from this woman. She just said "I will inform my mother and see what she wants to do with it" and then heavily put the phone down. I was really upset and questioned why do I keep on encountering such rude people; they are disrespectful even to the deceased. My mother had given this woman gifts when she was younger...

Sorry for the rant; this was one of my ways of coping with the loss...

It must be verry difficult. I am sorry...

I would like to say some words, but my words are often very dry. Anyway i think that we cant blame peoples with bounded eyes cause they see nothing, at the same way we cant blame animals cause they cant understant somethink that is easy for humans, if you tell it to an animal, he will not react. So dont let it make you suffer. Your mother dont suffer no more.

Your mother should be some one good if her son loving she so much.

PS actualy i am some one who prefers to celebrate the death and cry the birth, so i cant say anything in this situation... I'am just sorry

[HWP]

Peoples with bounded eyes are running
Leaded by fear and seeking of happyness
They collide with anyone who is on their road
They dont want to harm anyone
They want just to join happyness and stop running
The wise one, without bounded eyes
Can see running peoples
The wise one have compassion of them
So the wise one dont collide with them

Yeah, but it can be quite upsetting when I think about it. I just had words of condolences from an acquaintance. However, this reminded me of some callous responses. One from an organisation, which my mother was a member. There was not even a "I am sorry to hear that". Just that my mother's name would be removed from the database and that there would be no representative (not even if paid) to attend the funeral - this is only the privilege of the Board of Directors. The staff just hanged up on me when I questioned more.

There was another woman, who was the daughter of an old neighbour. I had called her to inform about my mother's wake. This daughter just irritably told me that her mother had difficulty attending because of her chronic illness. I expressed that I was sorry to hear that. Yet, there was not a single word of condolence from this woman. She just said "I will inform my mother and see what she wants to do with it" and then heavily put the phone down. I was really upset and questioned why do I keep on encountering such rude people; they are disrespectful even to the deceased. My mother had given this woman gifts when she was younger...

Sorry for the rant; this was one of my ways of coping with the loss...

It must be verry difficult. I am sorry...

I would like to say some words, but my words are often very dry. Anyway i think that we cant blame peoples with bounded eyes cause they see nothing, at the same way we cant blame animals cause they cant understant somethink that is easy for humans, if you tell it to an animal, he will not react. So dont let it make you suffer. Your mother dont suffer no more.

Your mother should be some one good if her son loving she so much.

PS actualy i am some one who prefers to celebrate the death and cry the birth, so i cant say anything in this situation... I'am just sorry

Thank you, Dawn. I really appreciate it.

[Hanzze]

Your mother dont suffer no more.

To believe such things could easy lead to "to celebrate the death", but that is simply silly (a kind of runaway and ignoring). Its much better to wish her a good rebirth and the best possibilities in here curent existence.

Remembering the mother:

A being who has not been your mother at one time in the past is not easy to find... A being who has not been your father... your brother... your sister... your son... your daughter at one time in the past is not easy to find.

will bring us much effort to understand compassion and when we come across other beings, its good to always remember our mother, father, brother... our lost beloved.

The compassion and sacrifice of our mother is our foundation to develope gratitude and to work on our self as good as possible. Here is topic in honor to our parents. Dear HPW maybe you feel to share some honor over there.

[bluppy]

I had some experience with rude people, unpleasant situation

actually they are the local thugs (small time gangster)
who often come to my workplace and ask money, etc. They come almost every week.
and also some thugs who pretend to be local reporter who threaten to write bad things about the company, and want some money so they won't publish the story. They have like 20 different kind of newspaper. And the local reporter who force us to buy newspaper that we don't want
I live in a small town in Indonesia, so this kind of thing is very common.

So I was pretty stressed out having to deal with all this people.
And was wondering, what did I did in the past to deserve this ?
I keep generating hatred and aversion toward them,
and wish they would just go away.
They were rude, so I was rude to them too.
In brief, I just hate them, and think they are worthless people
who are too lazy to work, and just ask/threaten other people for money

After some time, I come to realize that
maybe my hatred, aversion is the kamma I making now
and maybe in the past I also made this kind of kamma of hatred, anger
so now I'm sowing the fruit of past kamma of having to meet all this annoying people.

Afterwards, I try to be more balance when I have to deal with them
And try not to be rude or emotional when talking to them
They come less and less to my workplace
Or maybe because in the past, I put so much attention to them
that I just keep noticing their existence.

Nowadays, I mostly ignore them, and become less annoyed by them
And sometimes even able to feel compassion for them.
maybe meeting them is the fruit of my past bad kamma, and i'm paying my past debt now
thinking like that, makes me feel better

[HWP]

Your mother dont suffer no more.

To believe such things could easy lead to "to celebrate the death", but that is simply silly (a kind of runaway and ignoring). Its much better to wish her a good rebirth and the best possibilities in here curent existence.

Remembering the mother:

A being who has not been your mother at one time in the past is not easy to find... A being who has not been your father... your brother... your sister... your son... your daughter at one time in the past is not easy to find.

will bring us much effort to understand compassion and when we come across other beings, its good to always remember our mother, father, brother... our lost beloved.

The compassion and sacrifice of our mother is our foundation to develope gratitude and to work on our self as good as possible. Here is topic in honor to our parents. Dear HPW maybe you feel to share some honor over there.

Thanks, Hanzze. Will go over there.

[HWP]

I had some experience with rude people, unpleasant situation

actually they are the local thugs (small time gangster)
who often come to my workplace and ask money, etc. They come almost every week.
and also some thugs who pretend to be local reporter who threaten to write bad things about the company, and want some money so they won't publish the story. They have like 20 different kind of newspaper. And the local reporter who force us to buy newspaper that we don't want
I live in a small town in Indonesia, so this kind of thing is very common.

So I was pretty stressed out having to deal with all this people.
And was wondering, what did I did in the past to deserve this ?
I keep generating hatred and aversion toward them,
and wish they would just go away.
They were rude, so I was rude to them too.
In brief, I just hate them, and think they are worthless people
who are too lazy to work, and just ask/threaten other people for money

After some time, I come to realize that
maybe my hatred, aversion is the kamma I making now
and maybe in the past I also made this kind of kamma of hatred, anger
so now I'm sowing the fruit of past kamma of having to meet all this annoying people.

Afterwards, I try to be more balance when I have to deal with them
And try not to be rude or emotional when talking to them
They come less and less to my workplace
Or maybe because in the past, I put so much attention to them
that I just keep noticing their existence.

Nowadays, I mostly ignore them, and become less annoyed by them
And sometimes even able to feel compassion for them.
maybe meeting them is the fruit of my past bad kamma, and i'm paying my past debt now
thinking like that, makes me feel better

Hi bluppy

After reading your post, I found that the rude people I encountered were insignificant. Those you mentioned were more threatening. Just as after the loss of my mother, I realised that the troubles I faced were nothing compared with her...

[manas]

Hi all

I have frequently encountered rude sales people, who were loud and reluctant to serve (for less than 10 mins). How do you cope? If I reacted by writing a complaint letter, can I say that its their Kamma - they were rude in the first place.

However, I had encountered these people so often (unprovoked) that I wondered if this is some Kammic occurrence.
There was once an old lady in a temple who pointed at a rubbish bin when I asked where I could put the leftover sweets I bought for the temple. Or a woman who smiled at others in the temple but frowned when looked at me; I didn't even know her. There was another case where a woman who promised to give me her name card but ended up giving someone next to me. She just glared at me condescendingly and turned away. There was once during an interview, I politely informed the interviewer about my transferable skills and she just gave a condescending look and asked "what have your peers achieved, what about you?" There were also people who snorted when I smiled at them. So far, only my beloved mother and some of my close friends (since youth or college years) are nice to me.

Is there some type of Kamma that will make people detest you just by looking? This is tiring...Grateful if anyone can provide some advice here.

Hi HWP,

I have had to deal with this issue for most of my life, but especially since my teens. The frequency of mostly just ordinary people (even random strangers) either being scornful, rude or just obviously disliking of me for nothing I've done to them (in this life, anyway) has almost worn me down sometimes, but somehow I keep enduring.

In my case, I see a kammic connection. My appearance is unusual although according to my ex (who is a strikingly attractive woman) I'm handsome in my own way. But, some people who just see me randomly for the first time will look with a kind of 'oh...there's an odd looking person' look in their eyes, or frown (like you said - I hate that also) or, if they are a group of male teens, make a rude remark or just laugh loudly (personally I don't see what's funny about people who look different - I feel compassion instead. Anyway...)

There is no easy short-cut to 'fixing' things that I know of. As I have related above, people can be rude for the most trivial things, even just someone's physical appearance. Many people are amazingly shallow. Luckily, there are also alot of good people out there, too. Make sure you notice them too, and don't just focus on the negative ones. I'm just begun training myself in that area. Focus more on the good people - and learn to literally ignore the bad. (One day, when we are more spiritually advanced, we might even feel sorry for them. But as long as they are causing pain, just shutting them out might be the safest option).

Maybe there is a kammic connection for you, also. But whether there is or not, you will still have to learn how to deal with it. One thing that came to mind for me lately was, 'I should not care what fools think of me; I should only care about what the wise think of me.' When a wise person is critical, we should listen. But a fool? No way!

Hope something was of assistance

[HWP]

Hi all

I have frequently encountered rude sales people, who were loud and reluctant to serve (for less than 10 mins). How do you cope? If I reacted by writing a complaint letter, can I say that its their Kamma - they were rude in the first place.

However, I had encountered these people so often (unprovoked) that I wondered if this is some Kammic occurrence.
There was once an old lady in a temple who pointed at a rubbish bin when I asked where I could put the leftover sweets I bought for the temple. Or a woman who smiled at others in the temple but frowned when looked at me; I didn't even know her. There was another case where a woman who promised to give me her name card but ended up giving someone next to me. She just glared at me condescendingly and turned away. There was once during an interview, I politely informed the interviewer about my transferable skills and she just gave a condescending look and asked "what have your peers achieved, what about you?" There were also people who snorted when I smiled at them. So far, only my beloved mother and some of my close friends (since youth or college years) are nice to me.

Is there some type of Kamma that will make people detest you just by looking? This is tiring...Grateful if anyone can provide some advice here.

Hi HWP,

I have had to deal with this issue for most of my life, but especially since my teens. The frequency of mostly just ordinary people (even random strangers) either being scornful, rude or just obviously disliking of me for nothing I've done to them (in this life, anyway) has almost worn me down sometimes, but somehow I keep enduring.

In my case, I see a kammic connection. My appearance is unusual although according to my ex (who is a strikingly attractive woman) I'm handsome in my own way. But, some people who just see me randomly for the first time will look with a kind of 'oh...there's an odd looking person' look in their eyes, or frown (like you said - I hate that also) or, if they are a group of male teens, make a rude remark or just laugh loudly (personally I don't see what's funny about people who look different - I feel compassion instead. Anyway...)

There is no easy short-cut to 'fixing' things that I know of. As I have related above, people can be rude for the most trivial things, even just someone's physical appearance. Many people are amazingly shallow. Luckily, there are also alot of good people out there, too. Make sure you notice them too, and don't just focus on the negative ones. I'm just begun training myself in that area. Focus more on the good people - and learn to literally ignore the bad. (One day, when we are more spiritually advanced, we might even feel sorry for them. But as long as they are causing pain, just shutting them out might be the safest option).

Maybe there is a kammic connection for you, also. But whether there is or not, you will still have to learn how to deal with it. One thing that came to mind for me lately was, 'I should not care what fools think of me; I should only care about what the wise think of me.' When a wise person is critical, we should listen. But a fool? No way!

Hope something was of assistance

Hi Manas

Your input is helpful, thanks.