No, I didn't miss the point, i don't think. From my own personal standpoint, I believe the OP was being too rigid in his caution.
But of course, that would be his stand. And my comments were only opinion, which of course he and anyone/everyone is welcome to ignore, or challenge....
But I did get it.
I understand the dilemma.
I just think that as a layperson, he should not punish himself so severely.
If indeed, that's what he's doing, which is what it seems like to me.
You will not be punished FOR
your 'emotions'; you will be punished BY
Pay attention, simplify, and (Meditation instruction in a nutshell) "Mind - the Gap." ‘Absit invidia verbo’ - may ill-will be absent from the word.
And mindful of that, if I don't respond, this
may be why....