abstain from gossip/idle chatter?

[Cessation]

Can someone fill me in on the details on this precept for a lay-disciple? How do I know I'm going to far and breaking this precept?

[BlackBird]

Well it's not actually a precept. But it is part of 'Right speech' of the Noble Eightfold Path.

To be frank it's pretty hard for lay people to abstain from idle chatter, speaking from my own experience, your peers and loved ones might think you're being despondent or even that you feel yourself superior to them. It's not a good way to act around others in a lay environment.

But as far as abstaining from gossip goes, that is quite possible and beneficial.

If you want to learn more about Right Speech, this page here has a lot of good words of the Buddha on this subject:
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/ptf/dham ... amma-vaca/

Speak only the speech
that neither torments self
nor does harm to others.
That speech is truly well spoken.

Speak only endearing speech,
speech that is welcomed.
Speech when it brings no evil
to others
is pleasant.

- Snp 3.03

Beautiful words.

[daverupa]

There is such a thing as "courteous and amiable talk", one of the ways people would greet the Buddha, and which does not seem to invite censure. Drawing the line between this and idle speech seems to be a difficult task, but there is a place for sociability.

[bodom]

Can someone fill me in on the details on this precept for a lay-disciple? How do I know I'm going to far and breaking this precept?

I'm finding myself quoting this passage quite a bit lately around here but explains this facet of right speech for a laymen nicely:

(4) Abstaining from idle chatter (samphappalapa veramani).

He avoids idle chatter and abstains from it. He speaks at the right time, in accordance with facts, speaks what is useful, speaks of the Dhamma and the discipline; his speech is like a treasure, uttered at the right moment, accompanied by reason, moderate and full of sense. - AN 10:176

Idle chatter is pointless talk, speech that lacks purpose or depth. Such speech communicates nothing of value, but only stirs up the defilements in one's own mind and in others. The Buddha advises that idle talk should be curbed and speech restricted as much as possible to matters of genuine importance. In the case of a monk, the typical subject of the passage just quoted, his words should be selective and concerned primarily with the Dhamma. Lay persons will have more need for affectionate small talk with friends and family, polite conversation with acquaintances, and talk in connection with their line of work. But even then they should be mindful not to let the conversation stray into pastures where the restless mind, always eager for something sweet or spicy to feed on, might find the chance to indulge its defiling propensities.

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/auth ... html#fn-27

[Cessation]

Thanks everyone for your replies.

I like your quotes Bodom, I think I will try to follow that.