I have been practicing Anapanasati regulary now. I keep my eyes open because that's how i first practiced and it's stuck with me now,my focus is in my nostrils.My body is calm,my mind is calm,i experience bliss but why does my mind keep seeing dark mental images such as,a dark cloak,dark shadows,or like a dead person in front of me,beside me,behind me etc..It's not unnerving anymore.especially when i am calm.I just note it because it's just my mind making up stuff.It just bugs me that my mind can't come up with "better" things to fabricate like "nice" things like light or flowers or maybe nothing.I mean my minds natural tendency when i meditate is to start seeing these images in my mind sometimes it's just unclear buts sometimes it's crystal clear like sharp.But it's always the same dark theme.
(I also have to add its the same when i go to sleep,my dreams have dark themes in it too,no matter how much i purify my sila or send metta or meditate,always dark areas in it).
It's quite puzzling because i have made sure to keep the precepts,i do dana,develop sila,do metta.So quite naturally i expect nice and friendly things to surround me.Then one day right when i have just seated into a half lotus position,my cell phone rang.I picked it up and it was my mother and she immediately
,like no hello or nothing.. told me she had a dream about me,That i was helping someone.So i thought well that's good right.But she kept sounding disturbed so i urged her to tell me what's wrong,and she told me i was wearing a black cloak.
The dream made her pretty upset so i calmed her down.jeez..
I mean i know it's just a random dream but she felt unnerved even though she didn't know i keep seeing that during my meditations.I still didn't tell her.
What i have tried is, to ignore
it.So if i see it i just keep my mind on my focus point.I keep my focus inside,inside,inside i never focus on it.Coz i tried once and didn't feel calm at all.
Does it go away?
No not really..i mean one time it literally sat down next to me to meditate.i give up.I don't know what it is and i don't care i just keep focusing on my point.But i do feel intrigued to ask if any of you have these experiences..with no teacher really i would appreciate any from of solid guidance..
And you can PM me too!
These are just mental images i have to add i don't see them with my physical eye like i've seen a ghost no nothing like that..if i saw a real dead body/person in front of me i would have ditched meditation all together.. but it's very clear and very constant in my minds eye.More clearer than if i imagined something.